Posted in the Chicago Forum
“reign in blood”
Since: May 09
#1 Apr 13, 2013
DEAR ABBY: I'm a 14-year-old girl. I don't understand why adults tell me to be an independent thinker, to embrace myself, and then put me down for not conforming. Why is it outrageous to come to your own conclusions, speculate, challenge accepted ideas or find your own faith? It would be easier to quietly nod an empty head and smile to please our parents and the adults who influence kids, so they can enjoy superficial satisfaction for how "well" they have raised us.
Should I deny myself as an individual and be pulled along, or is it better to stay quiet and just be who everyone expects you to be?-- INDEPENDENT THINKER IN FLORIDA
DEAR INDEPENDENT THINKER: Independent thinkers are the people who have contributed the most to society. Our most important scientific discoveries were conceived by individuals who chose not to accept conventional thinking. The same is true for religion -- Jesus was an independent thinker.
I'm not sure what kind of conversation you feel the adults in your life are trying to discourage. But people who are deeply committed to their religious faith can feel offended or threatened if their beliefs are challenged. Even though you are an independent thinker, you should be respectful of the beliefs of others.
DEAR ABBY: Around the time of my sister's wedding, she and her fiance, "Greg," tried to get me and their best man, "Bruce," together. They brought him along when they would visit and encouraged us to date. Not long after the wedding we did start dating.
Bruce is a great guy and I enjoy being with him. My problem is, he's my brother-in-law's nephew even though they are close in age.(Bruce's mom is Greg's half sister.)
Am I dating a family member? Are we committing incest? Should we end this relationship? I don't know what is "right." -- WEIRDED OUT IN WISCONSIN
DEAR WEIRDED OUT: Bruce is not a blood relative; he is related to you by marriage. That is not the same as incest. If you care about each other, the right thing to do is continue the relationship and see where it leads. "Great guys" can make great husbands.
DEAR ABBY: My husband fathered a child in high school that was placed for adoption. His mother has become very close with the adoptive family and visits often. My husband does not. However, my mother-in-law constantly asks him to go on vacation with her to visit the child. I also found out that she sends the child gifts and signs my husband's name on the cards.
Abby, I feel this is hugely disrespectful not only to me, but also to my husband. He has chosen not to get involved with this child because he doesn't think it's fair to the adoptive family. He also doesn't wish to become attached. We have already told her she is overstepping her boundaries, but it continues to happen. What can we do?-- FRUSTRATED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR FRUSTRATED: Your mother-in-law may have the best of intentions, but forging your husband's name is dishonest. Sooner or later the child will find out the truth, and the result may be painful. However, there is nothing you can do to control your husband's mother's behavior, so accept it and don't take it personally.
“A Programmer is not in IT!”
Since: Feb 09
Neda, stay with me! Charlie
#2 Apr 13, 2013
1 Join a cult and let someone else think for you.
2 Great way to man bash. Oh, wait...
3 signing the fathers name is over the top, and that sheit needs to stop.
“reign in blood”
Since: May 09
#3 Apr 13, 2013
1- "Nod an empty head... adults who influence kids... superficial satisfaction..."
This was NOT written by a 14 yr old. Now quit your dam back-talk and do your chores.
2- YOU DON'T DATE FAMILY MEMBERS!!
3- Congrats on marrying a dead-beat dad, but anyway, I find it incredibly strange that the adoptive parents are so welcoming of the kid's biological grandmother. Kudos to them for allowing the child's "real" family to keep in contact, but it seems like that would be very confusing for the kid. A child with two families.
Since: Jun 09
#4 Apr 13, 2013
L3 This will stop when you and your husband have kids.
“Colorful Beyond Words”
Since: May 11
"Always On The Go "
#5 Apr 13, 2013
L1. Children are to be seen and not heard. Be a free thinker in college.
L2. Lol .. Not related .. Go forth and have a good time.
L3. Wow .. That is waaaay over the top for the mother to do that against her sons wishes. Great that she is in the kids life but ... Nothing but trouble later.
#6 Apr 13, 2013
LW3: "Abby, I feel this is hugely disrespectful not only to me, but also to my husband."
Wow, lady---it's MUCH more about you than your husband (the father of the child), isn't it. Maybe there's a *reason* your MIL hates your guts, you self-absorbed btch.
#7 Apr 13, 2013
LW1 - 14-year-old independent thinkers have been known to independently think themselves into being life-long losers. But you are griping that they are making you go to church, don't you? Oh, so much teen angst about one boring chore!
LW2 - Waaay, waaay, waay overthinking it.
LW3 - MIL is over the top, but how is it disrespectful to YOU?
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