Abby 8-18-13
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“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#1 Aug 18, 2013
EAR ABBY: My children's nanny, "Daisy," has been with us for more than two years. She's not the best, but I know I could do a lot worse. The most important thing is my children adore her and she is used to our routine. By and large, I'm happy to have her. However, I have two pet peeves I don't know how to address.

Daisy is always late. Not by much, mind you -- but it is consistent. She's at least five minutes late every single day. Maybe it shouldn't bother me so much, but it does. I never dock her pay for tardiness, and I always pay her on time.

To me, it's a reflection of how important she views her job. I feel it is disrespectful. The kicker is, Daisy is studying to be a nurse. I have told her unless she breaks this bad habit, she'll be fired from a future nursing job.

The second thing is, on hot, humid days, Daisy has the worst body odor imaginable. When the weather is cool, she doesn't smell, but once sticky weather arrives, the wall of stench is enough to make my nose hairs curl. One day it made me physically ill and I had to excuse her for the day without explaining why.

How should I address these problems? Or am I making too big a deal out of this?-- HAVING ISSUES IN VIRGINIA

DEAR HAVING ISSUES: Daisy may not be the best employee, but a good employer makes clear what the ground rules are when someone is hired. Because you're a stickler for punctuality, remind Daisy about what her hours are and stress that you expect her to be on time or risk having her pay docked.(If she uses public transportation, there should be some flexibility, but because she's late every day she should be told she needs to leave home a few minutes earlier.)

As to her personal hygiene issue, address it directly. Tell her you expect her to have showered, used deodorant and put on fresh clothes before coming to work -- especially in the summer.

Helpful hint: When you hire someone, have a list of written rules prepared for the individual to read and sign so there will be no misunderstandings. Doing that is being an effective boss.

DEAR ABBY: I am going to a concert by a popular band. My brother and my cousin always make fun of this band. People commenting online also post mean things about them. I know they have a right to their own opinions, but I don't get the same reactions when I talk about or listen to other popular music.

Did people do this 10 or 20 years ago? Do they think it's cool to express hatred about mainstream musicians? Maybe the more popular something is, the more people there are having negative feelings toward it.-- FREE TO LISTEN AT 13

DEAR FREE TO LISTEN: There is always a degree of backlash against hugely popular entertainers because some people think it's more "cool" to be a fan of a new, upcoming band. Years ago, some people loved the Beatles and hated the Rolling Stones, and vice versa. The behavior you describe has been going on ever since the music business began.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#2 Aug 18, 2013
Punctuality should be part of the job requirements. However, most people I now assume other people who have access to a bathroom will shower, and will put on clean clothes. Somethings should not have to be explicitly stated
Cass

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

#3 Aug 18, 2013
LW2 - So, you are going to a One Direction concert. Yes, people did the same 10, and 20, and 30 years ago. Just relax and enjoy the concert.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#4 Aug 18, 2013
1: Sounds like mom is at home with all this if she can tell Daisy to go home.
I'm being crabby, but take care of your own kids.

2: LOL! Yup, a 13 y/o going to 1D is worried about it? Grow up. There are millions of these psycho fans-you'll fit right in.
Not caring so much what others think is a great step in life...

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#5 Aug 18, 2013
1 give daisy a watch and a bar of soap.

2 No, this has never happened before. In fact it does not even happen to other people. It is just you alone that has this experience.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#6 Aug 18, 2013
LW1: If you are too timid to handle the tardiness head on, tell her you need to leave earlier and therefore she needs to get there earlier.

LW2: I'm shocked. This never happened to fans of En Sync, Back Street Boys, 98 degrees, Spice Girls, Britney Spears, New Kids on the Block, Debbi Gibson, Tiffany. You must be listening to some real talentless hacks like One Direction.

:)
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#7 Aug 18, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
LW2: I'm shocked. This never happened to fans of En Sync, Back Street Boys, 98 degrees, Spice Girls, Britney Spears, New Kids on the Block, Debbi Gibson, Tiffany. You must be listening to some real talentless hacks like One Direction.
:)
I still remember vividly a heated conversation I had with my dad when I was trying to convince him NKOTB were bigger than The Beatles.
Now, I see how silly that was but I wished he'd let my 13 y/o self have that moment...

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#8 Aug 19, 2013
L1: What Chel said. And if this woman reeks like the LW says she does, the kids will tell her.

L2: Nickelback? Insane Clown Posse?

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#9 Aug 19, 2013
L1: She's already told the woman she'll get fired from her future nursing job if she does that. Perhaps the nanny got the impression that's it's okay in this instance. Tell her you expect her to be on time, showered, prepared and ready to work. I sat next to a woman who stunk. It's not fun.

L2: I don't even KNOW the band One Dimension. Don't worry about what other people think.
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#10 Aug 19, 2013
LW1: 5 minutes? Really? I'm with Chel on this one. But the LW requests aren't unreasonable. She needs to talk to the nanny about it.

LW2: Thak goodness my daughter loves Weird Al!
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#11 Aug 19, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
LW1: If you are too timid to handle the tardiness head on, tell her you need to leave earlier and therefore she needs to get there earlier.
Sounds like the mom doesn't work - jsut hires someone to parent her kids all day even though she's there. So I don't think that excuse would work.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#12 Aug 19, 2013
Stina wrote:
<quoted text>
Sounds like the mom doesn't work - jsut hires someone to parent her kids all day even though she's there. So I don't think that excuse would work.
Maybe she works from home. She sounds to me, for some reason that I'm not even quite sure why, as if she thinks she's a queen. My own bias from somewhere.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#13 Aug 19, 2013
Stina wrote:
LW2: Thak goodness my daughter loves Weird Al!
No kidding! Currently the girls are into Daft Punk and Blondie and the worst we're subjected to is Katy Perry.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#14 Aug 19, 2013
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
No kidding! Currently the girls are into Daft Punk and Blondie and the worst we're subjected to is Katy Perry.
Blondie, as in disco era, Debbie Harry Blondie?
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#15 Aug 19, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
Blondie, as in disco era, Debbie Harry Blondie?
LOVE her! SHe just played a show in the fall here at a local park, but I had to miss her!

My daughter (and I) are huge Monkees fans, too, so we try to catch them in concert, too (but missed them last month due to family visiting). SHe went with a friend to see Big Time Rush and she wasn't so into it. But Weird Al??? She Flipped!
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#16 Aug 19, 2013
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
Maybe she works from home. She sounds to me, for some reason that I'm not even quite sure why, as if she thinks she's a queen. My own bias from somewhere.
THat could be it. But I do agree with you for some reason, as well.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#17 Aug 19, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
Blondie, as in disco era, Debbie Harry Blondie?
Yup. They would listen to "The Tide is High" 100 in a row if I let them.

They seem to like the girls singers (duh) so I've been trying to introduce them to my favorites.

They also like The Eurhythmics and the Go-Go's, and believe it or not, they love Natacha Atlas who sings mostly in arabic.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natacha_Atlas

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#18 Aug 19, 2013
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
Yup. They would listen to "The Tide is High" 100 in a row if I let them.
They seem to like the girls singers (duh) so I've been trying to introduce them to my favorites.
They also like The Eurhythmics and the Go-Go's, and believe it or not, they love Natacha Atlas who sings mostly in arabic.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natacha_Atlas
Hey mine obsessed on the Dick Van Dyke/Janet Leigh movie of Bye bye Birdie and Disney type musicals when they weren't being force fed Fred Astaire.
They will turn out okay regardless.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#19 Aug 19, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
Hey mine obsessed on the Dick Van Dyke/Janet Leigh movie of Bye bye Birdie and Disney type musicals when they weren't being force fed Fred Astaire.
They will turn out okay regardless.
As long as they don't get into some [email protected] like One Direction; I can't handle sh!t like that.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#20 Aug 19, 2013
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
Maybe she works from home.
I absolutely thought of that before I hit send, but I figured she'd whine about how sending this girl home on a dime interrupted her work, but she did not.

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