“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Oct 31, 2013
DEAR AMY: Six months ago I met a beautiful woman who is quite wealthy. We hit it off immediately and began a wild sexual relationship.

I go to her huge home every day and spend the day in bed with her, as I lost my job last year and can't seem to find another one.

She gives me hundreds of dollars in cash every week (which she calls "pocket change"), and I'm saving lots of money for my retirement. The problem is I'm feeling guilty about the whole situation, and I'm starting to feel like I'm being used.

She insists that she loves me. Should I end this relationship while I still have a little pride or should I keep taking her money until I have enough to buy a home and move to Florida?-- Confused

DEAR CONFUSED: Why is this woman giving you so much money? Is it because you won't see her unless she pays you? Does she need to have power and control over you? Or is it because she loves you and is being generous?

If you don't like being a gigolo, then stop acting like one. Before accepting the next weekly wad of cash, you should ask her what her motivation is.

If you are in a relationship with someone who loves you (and you don't love her), and this doesn't feel right, perhaps you should return the money, reclaim your pride and find another way to get yourself to Florida. If you are spending every day in bed with her, this would seriously impede your job search.

DEAR AMY: After a decade of trying to no avail to get my husband to participate in our marriage, I've decided to call it quits. The problem is that I am the breadwinner, and it would ruin us financially to split up.

We have a child in high school with some learning disabilities and social issues. I doubt she will be ready to fly the nest any time soon.

I was advised by a family law attorney not to divorce for these reasons.

My husband and I are mostly friends but haven't shared an intimate relationship on any level for 10 years. I stopped wearing my wedding ring and moved to another bedroom a few months ago. My plan is to remain married and living in the home but to go my own way.

How do I explain this change in our relationship to friends and family? I am at peace with this decision and, in fact, am feeling unstuck and hopeful for the future for the first time in many years.-- Looking Ahead

DEAR LOOKING AHEAD: Your friends and family (and your daughter) have probably noticed that you have stopped wearing your wedding ring. This gives you an opportunity to say that you and your husband are separating but have decided to continue to cohabit peacefully and co-parent your daughter.

A mediator or professional counselor could help you and your husband. But there is nothing to stop your husband from seeing a lawyer; he could also initiate a divorce, split up the household and ruin you financially. You should plan ahead.

DEAR AMY: "Loving Mom" wrote to you about her ex-husband, who is in and out of jail and recently violated their "no contact" court order by sending their young daughter a birthday card.

While your advice was compassionate, you made a mistake when you told this mother to notify the ex that he should contact only her (and not the child). If he contacts her, she is inviting him to violate this court order.-- Concerned Reader

DEAR READER: You are right. "Loving Mom" said her ex was not aware of the court order. I suggested that she notify him of the order and send him a copy.

You are correct that for him to contact her (as I suggested he should) would be in violation; better advice would have been for me to suggest that he only go through his (or her) lawyer if he wanted to be in touch with either the mother or the child. Thank you.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#2 Oct 31, 2013
1 Fake letter, I would say Sublime wrote it, but there is no mention of how his love making powers make her scream in ecstasy!

2 If it was the husband doing this, he would be a "cad", but since its the wife, she is "empowered".

3 Yes, throw the poor guy in the slammer over a frigging birthday card. Sheesh!

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#3 Oct 31, 2013
RACE wrote:
3 Yes, throw the poor guy in the slammer over a frigging birthday card. Sheesh!
Yup. He's not getting thrown in prison for sending a card, he's getting thrown in prison for violating a no contact order, which was likely a condition of his parole.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#4 Oct 31, 2013
L1: If this isn't a fake letter -- why the hell are you complaining?

L2: Ten years is usually the magic number to get your hands on retirement and other funds. And where does Amy say she's empowered? Sounds like she's warning her the gig could be up once the husband gets a brain.

L3: The woman should have her lawyer contact his lawyer and tell him that way.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#5 Oct 31, 2013
1. What do you tell your friends you do during teh day or how you get your money?
Keep what you have earned. Leave if you are not comfortable. Sorry, this sounds whiny and like a cross between Pal Joey and that Liberace bio-pic with Michael Douglas.

2. Why do you have to tell anyone anything? Your daughter knows you sleep in separate rooms. Who else inspects the sheets?

I agree that you should plan for the possibility he will leave but why would he? You are supporting him, not bothering him in bed and he would not get as much sympathy for being unemployed unless he was a SAHD who raised your learning disabled daughter.

3. A restraining order should be honored by both parties. If he is in jail still, send a copy to the warden otherwise have your lawyer or the State's Attorney serve it on him.You didn't get it by just alleging he was a grouch. He hasn't changed. Get someone else to tell him about the order and bury your sympathy out by the garbage cans

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#6 Oct 31, 2013
LW is totally fake

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#7 Oct 31, 2013
LW1: Why are you complaining? Either deal with the weird feelings being a kept man creates or get out.

And even though you say you feel like you're being used, it seems to me that it is the other way around. You are simply hanging out collecting your "pay" until you have enough to dump her and move to Florida.

LW2: No mention of how the hubby feels about this, but if he's OK with it, who am I to judge.

LW3: Let the lawyers handle it. It's what you pay them for.
Blunt Advice

New York, NY

#8 Oct 31, 2013
1. Uh It's Halloween not April FOOLS Day Amy.
2. The advice about protecting your assets is good. Follow it.
3. The original letter advised the mother to contact the sperm donor who was in and out of jail and had restraining order. never ever do that. She should have given the card to her social worker to address the situation
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#9 Oct 31, 2013
RACE wrote:
1 Fake letter, I would say Sublime wrote it, but there is no mention of how his love making powers make her scream in ecstasy!
2 If it was the husband doing this, he would be a "cad", but since its the wife, she is "empowered".
3 Yes, throw the poor guy in the slammer over a frigging birthday card. Sheesh!
This.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#10 Oct 31, 2013
squishymama wrote:
And even though you say you feel like you're being used, it seems to me that it is the other way around. You are simply hanging out collecting your "pay" until you have enough to dump her and move to Florida.
Seems to me like neither one is getting used. They're both gettin a little somethimg outra the relarionship.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#11 Oct 31, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Seems to me like neither one is getting used. They're both gettin a little somethimg outra the relarionship.
Agreed. I was just trying to point out his seeming hypocracy.

And I love your type-os.:D

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