“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#41 Apr 26, 2013
pde wrote:
He's just a lazy bump on the log.
She never said he's a lazy bump on the log. She says she doesn't even want to hang out with him. She's the mother of nearly adult children and she wants to party it up like a teenager. I'd say she needs to grow up, but that's the problem. She IS grown up but doesn't like it. She claims her husband's being the jerk because he's telling her the cold, hard truth and she refuses to accept it.

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Itasca, IL

#42 Apr 26, 2013
LW1 - depends on what you want to do... if you want to be a little more social, find some groups to join - like the sports team or book club. but if you want to relive your lost youth - like clubbing 4 out of every 5 nights - time to think some things through.

LW2 - why let tehm watch that much TV? When do they do their homework? i like Jess' comments

LW3 - when i thgouth teh letter was about getting rid of crap, i was going to suggest Goodwill or Salvation Army resales. then the bit about raising money for college. <shrug> dom't really know then. maybe see if a friend a little further away would work with you on a garage sale.
pde

Palatine, IL

#43 Apr 26, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
She never said he's a lazy bump on the log. She says she doesn't even want to hang out with him. She's the mother of nearly adult children and she wants to party it up like a teenager. I'd say she needs to grow up, but that's the problem. She IS grown up but doesn't like it. She claims her husband's being the jerk because he's telling her the cold, hard truth and she refuses to accept it.
She said "I want more out of life than sitting home watching TV or hanging out with him."

I would hope that most adults would want more out of life than hanging out exclusively with one other person and watching TV. It doesn't have to be her cold, hard truth.

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#44 Apr 26, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>She never said he's a lazy bump on the log. She says she doesn't even want to hang out with him. She's the mother of nearly adult children and she wants to party it up like a teenager. I'd say she needs to grow up, but that's the problem. She IS grown up but doesn't like it. She claims her husband's being the jerk because he's telling her the cold, hard truth and she refuses to accept it.
She never said she wants to party like a teenager. She didn't give any specifics.

Maybe she wants to join a book club. Maybe she just wants to have dinner and dessert with her girlfriends occasionally. Join a Zumba class? Take art lessons? Any of these things will take her away from her husband for the evening and it sounds like he wants to stay home and expects the same of her.

My husband is a homebody and he has said many times that he prefers when I hang out at home with him, even though he is not a talker and we can spend entire evenings in silence. He understands that I am a bit more social than he is, though, and I make plans to hang out with friends or attend meetings without him. I always invite him to political/community events, but he usually declines so I go by myself.

LW isn't saying whether she wants to so things alone or with her husband. It is not fair to expect him to change who he is, but he should be supporting his wife in her interests.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

United States

#45 Apr 26, 2013
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
She said "I want more out of life than sitting home watching TV or hanging out with him."
I would hope that most adults would want more out of life than hanging out exclusively with one other person and watching TV. It doesn't have to be her cold, hard truth.
If the roles were reversed, Mutt would be telling the man to tell his lazy beotch to get up off her fat ass and get with the program.
pde

Palatine, IL

#46 Apr 26, 2013
I mean, we're talking about a woman who is likely within two years of my age. I have no idea what sort of stuff a late 30-something could be told she should have done when she was younger, except say, hanging out at frat parties.

I'm not into going out drinking and dancing, but I have friends my age who still do so a couple times a month. Something like traveling or going back to school, heck she's at exactly the right time of life for that! Late 30-something with independent kids? Perfect.

Her cold, hard truth seems to be that if she wants to do things, she needs to assert herself despite her husband and just DO THEM.
animaniactoo

New York, NY

#47 Apr 26, 2013
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
I was babysitting at age 11. And the Red Cross still allows 11-year-olds to take their babysitting classes.
Interesting, it's nowhere near common among people I've known through various areas in NYC. At that age, the closest I came was "mother's helper" type jobs which meant that the parent(s) were still on hand and it involved doing some cleaning and some watching the kids while mom cleaned. I wasn't full-on babysitting until round 14 or 15.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#48 Apr 26, 2013
Hatti_Hollerand wrote:
<quoted text>The critical thinking skills of kids are in no way developed enough to handle a major emergency or crisis. At least older teenagers 15 and older have a better chance of making a life saving decision for themselves and for any other kids that may be in the home.
I guess it really is all in where you set your standards and values. Different in every family.
You seemed to forget the LIKELIHOOD of those major emergencies or crises.

They're just not that likely.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#49 Apr 26, 2013
I think that mom is dealing with being still-young(ish) and only one kid, who's 14/15 years old, and she's looking at the next 40 years of her life and wondering "Is this IT?"
pde

Palatine, IL

#50 Apr 26, 2013
animaniactoo wrote:
<quoted text>
Interesting, it's nowhere near common among people I've known through various areas in NYC. At that age, the closest I came was "mother's helper" type jobs which meant that the parent(s) were still on hand and it involved doing some cleaning and some watching the kids while mom cleaned. I wasn't full-on babysitting until round 14 or 15.
I started babysitting my younger siblings in 5th grade (so, age 10-11ish) and babysitting for other people during 6th grade (age 11).

By age 14, most kids I knew were getting teen work permits, and since those generally limit 14-15 year olds to working on the weekends, they weren't babysitting much anymore.

Even my kid's school doesn't provide afterschool care after 5th grade, so he's going to have just turned 11 when he enters 6th and we won't have afterschool care.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#51 Apr 26, 2013
j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>
My point is why do kids at the ages of 11 and 14 need a sitter at all?
A 14 year old and an 11 year old who are not related, wouldn't need a sitter. The 14 year old could be in charge. Two sisters would most likely kill each other, however.

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#52 Apr 26, 2013
animaniactoo wrote:
<quoted text>Interesting, it's nowhere near common among people I've known through various areas in NYC. At that age, the closest I came was "mother's helper" type jobs which meant that the parent(s) were still on hand and it involved doing some cleaning and some watching the kids while mom cleaned. I wasn't full-on babysitting until round 14 or 15.
I have friends who won't let anyone watch their kids unless the sitter is at least in college.

What people pay for sitters around here is ridiculous, though. I remember getting $2 per hour per child in CA. Going rate around here starts at $10/hr.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#53 Apr 26, 2013
I was babysitting NEWBORNS when I was 11 years old. Big mistake on those two moms' parts (two neighborwomen who both had a 3yo and a newborn, each)-- I knew nothing. BUt they were desperate to leave the house. I even had to be told to not leave a baby unattended on the changing table or inthe tub.
These days, with babysitting classes, kids are much more prepared.
But I was being left alone by age 9 and I loved it. I snooped through all of my parents' belongings and have the mental scars to prove it.

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Itasca, IL

#54 Apr 26, 2013
ScarletandOlive wrote:
<quoted text>
I have friends who won't let anyone watch their kids unless the sitter is at least in college.
What people pay for sitters around here is ridiculous, though. I remember getting $2 per hour per child in CA. Going rate around here starts at $10/hr.
and you probably loevd taht $2/hr! i wonder how much of that is regional and how much is inflationary...

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#55 Apr 26, 2013
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
She said "I want more out of life than sitting home watching TV or hanging out with him."
I would hope that most adults would want more out of life than hanging out exclusively with one other person and watching TV. It doesn't have to be her cold, hard truth.
I'm not buying it. She doesn't mention her husband expects her to hang out "exclusively" with him. Maybe he's in a golf club and plays poker. If that's not her thing, then fine. But she specifically says she wants to do things she never did "as a teenager." So that tells me she has no interest in joining a book club or Zumba dances either. She needs to realize that she's NOT a teenager, she's a mother and wife, but she doesn't seem to want that life.

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#56 Apr 26, 2013
Aisle Sitter wrote:
<quoted text>and you probably loevd taht $2/hr! i wonder how much of that is regional and how much is inflationary...
I was so appreciative of that $2/hr!:)

I think the cost here is a combo of both regional cost of living and inflation. I have also noticed that people tip more readily and more $ here than in CA where my parents live.
animaniactoo

New York, NY

#57 Apr 26, 2013
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
I started babysitting my younger siblings in 5th grade (so, age 10-11ish) and babysitting for other people during 6th grade (age 11).
By age 14, most kids I knew were getting teen work permits, and since those generally limit 14-15 year olds to working on the weekends, they weren't babysitting much anymore.
Even my kid's school doesn't provide afterschool care after 5th grade, so he's going to have just turned 11 when he enters 6th and we won't have afterschool care.
Definitely regional then. Most places around here won't hire somebody under the age of 16 even with a work permit, and those who are going to be good babysitters generally have enough business to keep them wanting them to do that.

“Colorful Beyond Words ”

Since: May 11

" Live, Laugh, Love "

#58 Apr 26, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
You seemed to forget the LIKELIHOOD of those major emergencies or crises.
They're just not that likely.
It only takes once.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#59 Apr 26, 2013
Aisle Sitter wrote:
<quoted text>
and you probably loevd taht $2/hr! i wonder how much of that is regional and how much is inflationary...
HEre in the Twin Cities, it starts at $10 to $12/hour. My friends pick and choose when they hire a sitter because of that (iow, special occasions).

I know people in the D.C. area have reported $15 -$20.

I think it's nuts. Especially for little ones who are in bed by 7 or 8 p.m. The you're just paying someone to be there and watch TV or text on her phone.

My friends pay me in beer. I refuse to accept payment for babysitting, but I usually go home with a six-pack of Harp.:)

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#60 Apr 26, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>HEre in the Twin Cities, it starts at $10 to $12/hour. My friends pick and choose when they hire a sitter because of that (iow, special occasions).

I know people in the D.C. area have reported $15 -$20.

I think it's nuts. Especially for little ones who are in bed by 7 or 8 p.m. The you're just paying someone to be there and watch TV or text on her phone.

My friends pay me in beer. I refuse to accept payment for babysitting, but I usually go home with a six-pack of Harp.:)
I have had child-free friends offer to babysit, but there is a reason that they don't have children and they are not great with the boys. My friends and I have started trading services.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Chicago Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
I think she is pissed. From a few years ago. 27 min SheDefinitelyPissed 9
Scary Obituary 32 min The Shadow Knows 14
{keep A word drop A word} (Oct '11) 36 min SweLL GirL 10,593
News BARACK OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE: Suit contesting... (Jan '09) 1 hr uIDIOTRACEMAKEWOR... 240,370
News Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 2 hr uIDIOTRACEMAKEWOR... 1,522,893
Topix Chitown Regulars (Aug '09) 6 hr Resist 105,136
last post wins! (Apr '13) 6 hr honeymylove 2,466

Chicago Jobs

More from around the web

Personal Finance

Chicago Mortgages