“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#1 Mar 8, 2014
DEAR ABBY: What can I do about a child I see in an automobile who is hanging out the window when she passes my house? The child is around 4 years old.

Today when I saw the little girl, the only parts of her in the car were her lower legs and feet. Her mother, father and grandmother allow her to do this. It scares me because when I was a child, I fell out of a moving car, and I still have scars on my arms because of it.

I am not close to these neighbors, so can you help me with some advice?-- SCARED FOR HER IN FLORIDA

DEAR SCARED FOR HER: Seat belt laws have been enacted to protect children from this kind of ignorance or negligence. Children (and adults) who fall from moving vehicles can die of their injuries, or be crippled for life.

You should report your concerns about this to the police to ensure the little girl's safety. The next time you see her hanging out the car window, immediately call 911. The dispatcher will determine which agency should be notified.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old girl. I find it very hard to be a teenager where I live. It seems most of my friends have boyfriends, but most of my friends have gone very far with their boyfriends. I'm too scared to. I don't feel ready for something like that.

I kind of want a boyfriend, but it's hard to find one because most guys want to go too far. I don't want to talk about this kind of stuff with my mom. I hope you get the chance to answer.-- TEEN OUT WEST

DEAR TEEN: I'm sorry you can't discuss this with your mother because if you did, she could share her experience with you, and that's a valuable asset to have.

I have always advised that when people start dating, they do it in groups, which takes away a lot of the pressure of feeling you have to do anything you don't want to do. If that ever happens to you, you have the right to say "no," "stop!" "I'm not ready for that," etc. Some girls are reluctant to say it loudly and clearly, which is a big mistake. Most men understand that no means no -- but if a girl doesn't state it clearly, they think it's OK to continue. If you follow this advice, your problems will be greatly minimized.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-wife, "Kristy," and I have been divorced for five years and she has since remarried. We have a 15-year-old daughter, "Taryn."

When it's Kristy's birthday, Mother's Day, etc., Taryn looks to me to help out with gifts for her mother. I have asked my daughter if she talks to her stepfather about this, and she says no.

I feel it isn't my duty to do this. It should be the current husband who is assigned this task. I want Taryn to be happy giving her mother a gift, but I am not comfortable with this. Am I thinking right? If so, what should I say to my daughter?-- UNCERTAIN IN KENTUCKY

DEAR UNCERTAIN: Explain this to your daughter just as you have written it to me. Taryn isn't a little girl. I presume she has chores to do and earns an allowance. If she wants to give her mother a gift or a card, she should pay for it. But if she wants to spend more money for it than she has, she should ask her stepdad to chip in.
Time to Set Clocks Ahead for Spring

DEAR READERS: If you live in a state that observes daylight saving time, don't forget to turn your clocks forward one hour before going to bed tonight. Daylight saving time begins at 2 a.m. tomorrow. You know what that means -- it'll be lighter later and, as a comfort to those of you who are suffering through an extraordinarily harsh winter, spring is on the way!
Cass

Claremont, CA

#2 Mar 8, 2014
LW1 - Take down the license plate and call the police.

LW2 - At 15, you are kind of youngish to have a boyfriend, especially if becoming sexually active seems to be the norm. It's not a healthy norm for 15-year-olds. If you "kind of want" a boyfriend because other friends are getting them, then start thinking clearly and wait until you meet a boy you actually like.

LW3 - It IS your duty to help YOUR daughter with the child-parent tasks she needs to do. Did you abdicate your job as a father when you got divorced? Did your ex-wife stop being the mother of YOUR child when you divorced? Okay, so your daughter should find the gifts for her mom she can afford on her own, from her allowance. But you should be helping her find the right gift, budget her money, etc.
Kuuipo

Salinas, CA

#3 Mar 8, 2014
LW1: Call the police. Do you have a seatbelt ordinance in your state? If so, a hefty fine to the parents should ensure that the child buckles up.

LW2: You don't sound ready for a boyfriend, but when the situation arises, you do need to learn how to say NO. This doesn't change for women regardless of age. You'll need to keep saying no until you find someone who enjoys your company and isn't just trying to get what he wants from you. When you feel ready, make some guy friends and just learn how to talk to them. One other thing: Always avoid being alone with a young man in an area where you cannot easily get away and get help.
Kuuipo

Salinas, CA

#4 Mar 8, 2014
LW3: I agree with Cass. Your job as a parent is to support your child emotionally as well as financially. If it makes you uncomfortable, oh well. That's just one of many uncomfortable things adults have to do in this world.

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#5 Mar 8, 2014
Kuuipo wrote:
LW3: I agree with Cass. Your job as a parent is to support your child emotionally as well as financially. If it makes you uncomfortable, oh well. That's just one of many uncomfortable things adults have to do in this world.
Yeah, I agree to a point. When they're little, they need this sort of support and help.
My son's father and I loathe each other, but did help him with Christmas, birthday and Father's/Mother's Day purchases when he was a kid.
That said, it stopped when he was about fifteen. We both felt that he was old enough to save up and make his own purchases by then, and also by then his dad was married to a woman who didn't abuse him, so he could get some support/help from her.(the first stepmom was a complete biotch, not just to him, but to her own son as well) Both my sons were doing part time/ seasonal work by that age, and had their own money to budget and spend on gifts and stuff.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#7 Mar 8, 2014
1: ARG! I saw a little kid in the front seat pushed up to the window. I need to carry a pic of my bro from the hospital (after he was ejected through a windshield) and show it to people.
Yes, my brother made a choice, but people letting their little kids stand/run loose enrages me.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#8 Mar 8, 2014
3: To a point. This girl might need some financial support, but she is old enough to get the gift herself.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#9 Mar 8, 2014
LW3: Does the girl get financial help from her mother when Father's day or his birthday comes along?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#10 Mar 8, 2014
1- MYOgoddamB!

2- Written by a parent. If your 15 yr old is sexually active, you've failed. Contrary to popular belief, young teens aren't horny rabbits hopping from hole to hole.

3- You have no financial obligation to give your ex anything. Tell your daughter she's on her own regarding gifts to her mother.
boundary painter

Waco, TX

#11 Mar 9, 2014
Can LW2 talk to her father? He might be the better advisor on what
boy she might consider befriending or going to dances/youth activities
with.

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