Abby 6/17

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“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#41
Jun 18, 2013
 

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Right, cause any kid under the age of 18 is totally incapable of urinating in a public restroom without being molested or kidnapped.

You go to their prom too? The drive in? Arcade? Movies?
Reason Personified wrote:
<quoted text>Being there with them does not mean isolating them, it just means being with them, everywhere they go. They can be allowed to toilet themselves, but in a public place either a parent goes in with them or they stand right outside the door.

“suffers from formicophilia ”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#42
Jun 18, 2013
 
squishymama wrote:
And what if, as in the LW's case, there is no Granny? She just has to deal with it and never get a break for 18+ years?
That isn't the problem. She's been offered a break. She doesn't want to take them up on it because she thinks her kids will be too much for them. A "family" has offered to watch her kids. Not some 13 yr old girl. Martyr Mom doesn't think they can handle her preciouses for a few hours. And she doesn't WANT to spend alone time with her husband. THAT is the bigger issue. Reason Personified can relate to the LW because they both seem to think that their children can't survive without them, if even for a few hours. And the husband? He just needs to keep going to work and earn the money to provide for the lw and (her) kids. Outside of that, he's useless.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#43
Jun 18, 2013
 

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I dont read anywhere that the LW says her husband does not do his share of child raising.

“This is SPARTA!”

Since: Dec 08

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#44
Jun 18, 2013
 

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Reason Personified wrote:
<quoted text>She needs to teach her husband that the children are his too. He needs to do some diapering, mopping, cooking too. They both need to get over the "I need me time" crap, and deal with what they have done. They made a family.
I am thrilled to have never been subjected to your idea of "family". Do you have a cousin named Loose Cannon?

“This is SPARTA!”

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#45
Jun 18, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
That isn't the problem. She's been offered a break. She doesn't want to take them up on it because she thinks her kids will be too much for them.
Psst...She's not talking to the LW. She's talking to the new nut.

“This is SPARTA!”

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#46
Jun 18, 2013
 

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edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
So you're a helicopter parent?
Helicopter would be an improvement. This is super-glued Velcro,

“This is SPARTA!”

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#47
Jun 18, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
I dont read anywhere that the LW says her husband does not do his share of child raising.
Let me translate nut to English.

The only people who should be caring fir the child are mom and dad, ergo, if mom needs a break, then dad obviously is not helping out. Why else would mom need a break? It is unthinkable that they both need a break at the same time.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#48
Jun 18, 2013
 
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
And what if, as in the LW's case, there is no Granny? She just has to deal with it and never get a break for 18+ years?
Yep, Squishy! That's what she signed up for when she had a kid! ;)

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#49
Jun 18, 2013
 
Well heck, at least "Reason Personified" (and I use the name loosely) has made this interesting.

“Citizen_Patriot_ Voter_Atheist!”

Since: May 09

Earth,TX

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#50
Jun 18, 2013
 

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edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
So you're a helicopter parent? Way to teach children about independence. These are the children who don't even get a drivers license til they turn 20, don't move out of the house until they're 25, move directly in with their girlfriend who they marry, pop out a kid, and divorce all within a year, then sulk at the bars crying in their beers and becoming alcoholics and wonder why they can't find a woman and where their life went wrong. Then they marry the first white trash that gets drunk enough to get knocked up by them and the cycle starts all over again.
Helicopter parent? No, but I am across the park reading a book, while my children play. If a stranger, makes his/her way to the area where the children are, I am aware of it. I have taken note of that persons clothing and stance, and I am on alert for any thing happening.

The way to teach children independance is to make sure they have it in small doses, and they will learn to cope with many different circumstances. It does not mean abandoning them to the whims of the planet's dregs.

It sounds like you know some pretty lousy people.

“Citizen_Patriot_ Voter_Atheist!”

Since: May 09

Earth,TX

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#51
Jun 18, 2013
 
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
And what if, as in the LW's case, there is no Granny? She just has to deal with it and never get a break for 18+ years?
"Beware anyone offering to take your burden, except maybe your own mothers.". <<< That says" beware", it does not say never to trust. And if she has no mother or mother figure in her life, or somene she trusts like she would her own mother, then hell no, unless it is an absolute emegency, do not leave the children, at all.

After 4 to 5 years, the children themselves will seek out the independence from their parents, and that is when parent begins to blend into the background. The child doesn't have to even know that the ever vigilant parent is still in full protection mode.

Everyone of us, has screamed or cried at the airing some news story where some shit-for-brains parent has had a child seriously injured of killed by just plain inattention, or worse pure neglect. I suggest that all parents actually take responsibility for their children's health and welfare.

“Citizen_Patriot_ Voter_Atheist!”

Since: May 09

Earth,TX

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#52
Jun 18, 2013
 

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RACE wrote:
Right, cause any kid under the age of 18 is totally incapable of urinating in a public restroom without being molested or kidnapped.
You go to their prom too? The drive in? Arcade? Movies?
<quoted text>
Wow, it is a good thing that I have you, to do my thinking for me. I would have never dreamed that
I would have to say everything, that I have ever thought about raising children, in a single post to prevent my message being so incredibly misconstrued.

You may have to point out where I said that all of them under 18 were incapable of going alone, but really there are things that the 18 month old should not be allowed, that the 18 year old can be allowed.

None of my children are as old as I, so the only drive-ins they have experienced are more along the lines of drive-thrus. Arcades? Pretty much the same thing, and movies too, they almost never choose, too many other things available to them now.

“Citizen_Patriot_ Voter_Atheist!”

Since: May 09

Earth,TX

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#53
Jun 18, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
That isn't the problem. She's been offered a break. She doesn't want to take them up on it because she thinks her kids will be too much for them. A "family" has offered to watch her kids. Not some 13 yr old girl. Martyr Mom doesn't think they can handle her preciouses for a few hours. And she doesn't WANT to spend alone time with her husband. THAT is the bigger issue. Reason Personified can relate to the LW because they both seem to think that their children can't survive without them, if even for a few hours. And the husband? He just needs to keep going to work and earn the money to provide for the lw and (her) kids. Outside of that, he's useless.
Maybe her children are the loose cannons? Though I can't imagine children so unruly that they could not be tolerated by someone else for a few hours.

And actually you too, are so appreciated for trying to do my thinking for me.

I would have never considered that the children couldn't survive, but I did say the Mum would be shirking her duty, and the only thing I had to say about the father was that they were his children too, he needs to step up, take some of the load onto him.

“Citizen_Patriot_ Voter_Atheist!”

Since: May 09

Earth,TX

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#54
Jun 18, 2013
 

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Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>I am thrilled to have never been subjected to your idea of "family". Do you have a cousin named Loose Cannon?
Do you see daddy as sort of eye candy for mommy? Like an accessory maybe?

“This is SPARTA!”

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#55
Jun 19, 2013
 
Reason Personified wrote:
<quoted text>Do you see daddy as sort of eye candy for mommy? Like an accessory maybe?
My comment ain't got morhing to do with daddy and all to do with this crazy velcro noyion that PARENTS should not get time away from parenting every now and then. That they are on duty 24/7 for 18 years. That "me time" is crap.

Lemme guess, you're against daycare and think there should always be a stay at home parent

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#56
Jun 19, 2013
 

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From your first post....
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! No way, you've got 18 years minimum of "it ain't your life no more". You are the suckle me, hold me , nurture me, bathe me, nurse maid. You signed up for it and it is your job.

18 years of bathing them,
18 years of suckling,
18 years of holding
Your words, not mine.

I may just have to start thinking for you since you seem to be unable to do so for yourself. But I blame you parents for that. They probably micro managed your life, like your proposing all parents do.
Reason Personified wrote:
<quoted text>
You may have to point out where I said that all of them under 18 were incapable of going alone, but really there are things that the 18 month old should not be allowed, that the 18 year old can be allowed.
Uhhhh, say again?
Reason Personified wrote:
<quoted text>

None of my children are as old as I

“Citizen_Patriot_ Voter_Atheist!”

Since: May 09

Earth,TX

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#57
Jun 19, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>My comment ain't got morhing to do with daddy and all to do with this crazy velcro noyion that PARENTS should not get time away from parenting every now and then. That they are on duty 24/7 for 18 years. That "me time" is crap.
Lemme guess, you're against daycare and think there should always be a stay at home parent
Hell no, daycare is a necessity for some people, and working for a living is just one of the ways to meet those obligations of being a parent. You are bringing the paycheck home, and not taking it out to the bingo hall or strip club right?

“Citizen_Patriot_ Voter_Atheist!”

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Earth,TX

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#58
Jun 19, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
From your first post....
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! No way, you've got 18 years minimum of "it ain't your life no more". You are the suckle me, hold me , nurture me, bathe me, nurse maid. You signed up for it and it is your job.
18 years of bathing them,
18 years of suckling,
18 years of holding
Your words, not mine.
I may just have to start thinking for you since you seem to be unable to do so for yourself. But I blame you parents for that. They probably micro managed your life, like your proposing all parents do.
<quoted text>
Uhhhh, say again?
<quoted text>
From my first post ... "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! No way, you've got 18 years minimum of "it ain't your life no more"." << PERIOD! Did you not see it? It is small but it is there.

Did you add some words to my post?

Ok, my children do not have any idea what a drive-in is, except from watching old movies, they have no expierience with them.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#59
Jun 19, 2013
 
I think you're trying to split hairs. It clearly reads like your implication is that a parents life is to be put on hold and their every waking moment is to be geared to the safeguarding and nurturing of the children, including wiping their nose from birth till they turn 18, at which time they magically learn how to do it for themselves.
Reason Personified wrote:
<quoted text>From my first post ... "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! No way, you've got 18 years minimum of "it ain't your life no more"." << PERIOD! Did you not see it? It is small but it is there.
Did you add some words to my post?
Ok, my children do not have any idea what a drive-in is, except from watching old movies, they have no expierience with them.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#60
Jun 19, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
I think you're trying to split hairs. It clearly reads like your implication is that a parents life is to be put on hold and their every waking moment is to be geared to the safeguarding and nurturing of the children, including wiping their nose from birth till they turn 18, at which time they magically learn how to do it for themselves.
<quoted text>
That's the feeling I got from the posts as well.

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