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Since: Mar 09

Pittsburgh, PA

#21 Sep 9, 2013
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
I have a tremendous amount of cousins. Over 30. While I don't see them very often, I will admit it's nice to know they're there. If I had issues where I needed their help, I believe many of them would not hesitate. I'm lucky.
Oh, my kids have hundreds of cousins, 2nd cousins, and many cousins-once-or-twice-removed. Keith was 3rd youngest of 12 (11 surviving to adulthood) and most of them are pretty prolific! Since his older sibs are so much older (15+ years), a lot of the "removed" cousins are actually age-mates to our girls.

About our similar situation: Between his divorce from Debbie (late 1970s) and getting together with me (1984), Keith had a brief relationship with another woman (also named Debbie, for whatever that's worth!) They broke up; he got sober; life went forward 25 years, and Debbie 2's sister shows up in meetings. Debbie 2 herself wanted NOTHING to do with anyone who didn't drink and I never met her. Anyway, Sis eventually tells Keith that Debbie 2 gave birth to Little Debbie (confused yet?) and she is his child! He came home and told me right away and we wondered what to do, since she was raised by loving grandparents and was doing OK. We ended up waiting till after Debbie 2 died (Little Deb was 29 or 30 then) and her auntie arranged the meeting. She's a lovely young woman and we can't imagine not having her in our lives, no matter what the circumstances of her birth or what her mom did.

I just changed my avatar; LD on the left, Serena middle, LeeLee on the right. Sisters!

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#22 Sep 9, 2013
I have 14 cousins on my mom's side and 10 on my dad's side (not counting the one who died young before I was born).

I loved growing up with cousins. It's almost like growing up with siblings only with less fighting.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#23 Sep 9, 2013
I'm glad it worked out that way, vdame! That's pretty cool!

My friend didn't know until she was 17 or 18 that her dad wasn't her bio father. She was PISSED that it had been a secret kept from her.

She met her bio dad and his wife, and liked them at first, like meeting uncles and grandparents, but her bio dad and stepmom are incredibly money-focused people and after like 10 years, she cut off all contact. They would literally come into the home she just bought and moved into and criticize her new appliances as being cheap and not worth buying ($600 stove is useless?) and didn't she know better than that? They were always talking about what things cost, how much money they spend, etc. I thought my friend was exaggerating until her (first) husband and I were hanging out alone and he talked about it.(He grew up on Lake Minnetonka, around kids with a lot of money, so that didn't impress him much.)

She tolerated it, just bit her tongue, but the final straw was:(1) visiting her new home and trashing it (it's a nice, immaculate, small home -- post WWII and my friend is the second owner, so it's been well maintained and is in a nice 'hood in St. Paul), and (2) thinking that they should be able to get friend's new baby for overnight visits... when they'd never even changed a diaper in their lives, or babysat other kids. Stepmom didn't even know how to told a baby. They got mad when friend didn't let them take the baby for an overnight. That was taht.
not a ghost

San Antonio, TX

#24 Sep 10, 2013
LW1 needs to take "No!" for an answer and leave that father alone. If his sons and daughters also
want to be left alone, LW1 needs to respect their privacy, too.

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