“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#1 Mar 9, 2014
DEAR ABBY: My son is almost 3. He is the light of my life. I love him more than I can describe, but sometimes I can't handle his energy. We carefully monitor how much sugar he eats and we are sure his diet is not what's causing the problem. Mostly I think he is just a rowdy little boy.

The problem is, we can't take him out without dreading that he will act up. His refusal to listen to our requests -- or listen to us when we speak to him at all -- has put a strain on our marriage and we both feel like "failure" parents.

What are some things we can do to help our son channel his energy in a positive way, while getting some relief from his nonstop go-go attitude?-- NEEDS RELIEF IN KANSAS

DEAR NEEDS RELIEF: This may be a phase your son is going through; however, it would be a good idea to discuss this with his pediatrician to make sure. While little children can be human "Energizer bunnies," I am concerned that you say the boy doesn't listen when you talk to him. Tell the doctor and ask if a hearing check is in order.

As to your son's acting up when you take him out -- he should be told the rules and the penalties for not following them before you leave the house. If he doesn't obey the rules, it is important that you follow through, whether that means he will be taken outside for a talk or taken home. Remember, consistency is the key. That's the way children learn.

If you are older parents and not active, consider enrolling the boy in sports activities, such as swimming or kiddie gym. I am told there are even karate classes for children your son's age.

I read a book recently that could be helpful to you and your spouse. The title is "Raising Children That Other People Like to Be Around" by Richard Greenberg. It was written last year (2013) and published by New Generation Publishing. The price is $14, and the advice the author offers is worth every penny.

DEAR ABBY: Twenty years ago I fell in love, but never told the man how I felt. We spent a lot of time together back then, but I was always afraid to confess my feelings because we were both married to other people. Time went by and we went our separate ways, but I have thought about him many times. A month ago I looked him up on Facebook, and we have reconnected.

Should I tell him how I feel about him? I'm afraid he may not feel the same way. My question is, should you always tell people how you feel, even if it may hurt someone else -- like his wife and my husband?-- IN A QUANDARY IN SAN ANTONIO

DEAR IN A QUANDARY: My answer is NO. If this man is attracted to you or might like a fling, it could spark an affair in which two innocent people would be devastated. And if the feelings AREN'T mutual, you will look like a home-wrecking fool, so keep it to yourself and back off.

DEAR ABBY: My husband thinks it is fine to use his cellphone while he is in the bathroom, no matter who is on the other end. The noises must be obvious to anyone he's talking to because he makes no effort to be quiet about his "business," including flushing the toilet.

He won't listen to me about how unacceptable this is. When I mention anything about it, he accuses me of being "sensitive" and "uptight." Maybe he'll listen to you and any of your readers who care to respond. Any comments?-- CRINGING IN DALLAS

DEAR CRINGING: Clearly your husband enjoys what he's doing. If the people he's talking to don't mind -- and apparently they don't or they'd say, "I'll talk to ya later!" -- you should butt out.

Claremont, CA

#2 Mar 9, 2014
LW1 - Of course, 3-year-olds don't listen! You can't reason with a 3yo. You just can't. You have to set the rules and follow through. You also have to have reasonable expectations. If you expect a 3yo to sit quietly and color at a restaurant for 40 minutes, you may be unrealistic. Some kids can do it, and some can't. Neither of my kids ever could, so we let them be a bit fidgety without being disruptive. We also didn't go anywhere that was not kid-friendly. We did leave if the kids threw a tantrum. It took leaving the restaurant mid-meal only once with our daughter. She never thew a tantrum in a public place again.

LW2 - Hell, no.

LW3 - Let him embarrass himself. He is an adult, so he should be able to make an idiot of himself and face the consequences.
boundary painter

Waco, TX

#3 Mar 9, 2014
LW2 needs to stop giving my city a bad name--and start treating her
husband right.

And LW3's husband is giving the Lone Star state a bad name, too.
Shame on both of these letter writers.

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