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Kuuipo

Seaside, CA

#21 Apr 22, 2014
LW1: Maybe it's just lunch, and you're overreacting/dramatizing. Maybe they are like my former co-workers. Whatever it is, as long as they are doing their jobs, what they do on their own time should not concern you or anyone else in the office. MYOB.

LW2: I used to be the opposite - never watched news at all - too depressing. Now I just scan for the interesting stories and skip over most of the morbid stuff. I still don't understand why "news" equates to predominantly "bad news".

LW3: You're on the hook for the cleaning. Any competent dry cleaner should be able to remove a red wine stain. But if he persists, then find out the brand and size of his shirt and replace it with comparable high-quality shirt that you bought on sale. Abby's right about friendship being more valuable than stuff.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#22 Apr 22, 2014
1: She knows you're old friends with her hubby and does this....either she's a psycho or really innocent and stupid.

2: Strong conversation
Wait it out
Break up

3: Stuff happens; you weren't malicious.
Dry cleaning only.
Like Sublime, I would never ask someone to pay in that situation, geez.
But I don't buy overpriced clothes either!

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#23 Apr 22, 2014
cheluzal wrote:
1: She knows you're old friends with her hubby and does this....either she's a psycho or really innocent and stupid.
!
It would seem to me that being stupid would only apply if she were fooling around in plain view of her husband's friend. If she's innocent, why is she stupid?
pde

Bothell, WA

#24 Apr 22, 2014
cheluzal wrote:
1: She knows you're old friends with her hubby and does this....either she's a psycho or really innocent and stupid.
Or thinks that everyone is adults, and thus can act/think like mature adults and not like teenaged gossips.

I work in a industry where most of my coworkers are probably always going to be men. Some of those male coworkers become lunch friends. It's nothing more than that.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#25 Apr 22, 2014
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
Or thinks that everyone is adults, and thus can act/think like mature adults and not like teenaged gossips.
I work in a industry where most of my coworkers are probably always going to be men. Some of those male coworkers become lunch friends. It's nothing more than that.
This.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#26 Apr 22, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
If she's innocent, why is she stupid?
Because she's unaware of the "image" she's giving to at least her boss if not everyone else

If you're married, and your husband is your boss's friend, you might want to be... "careful"... about daily lunches with a male co-worker

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#27 Apr 22, 2014
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
Or thinks that everyone is adults, and thus can act/think like mature adults and not like teenaged gossips.
I work in a industry where most of my coworkers are probably always going to be men. Some of those male coworkers become lunch friends. It's nothing more than that.
Agree.

I have worked with guys who became good friends and with whom I often/usually had lunch in such romantic places as the causal fast food places with plate glass windows on major streets in the middle of the downtown business district some time between 12 and 2. It would be hard to have been more public , but I am aware that there were biddies who made crack comments. Bored and in need of something to spice up their loves. Oooo, sometimes he got the Big chopped salad at Corner Bakery instead of the cafe size with soup. Heavens

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#28 Apr 22, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Because she's unaware of the "image" she's giving to at least her boss if not everyone else
If you're married, and your husband is your boss's friend, you might want to be... "careful"... about daily lunches with a male co-worker
Careful? How about I give my husband a call and see if he wants to join us at Cosi?

Your approach is inching closer and closer to women needing to be accompanied by a male family member when in public with other men.

Next thing you will want is punishment commensurate to and similar to the crime, eye for an eye stuff.

Is any of this sounding familiar?

Frigging dirty minds

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#29 Apr 22, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Because she's unaware of the "image" she's giving to at least her boss if not everyone else
If you're married, and your husband is your boss's friend, you might want to be... "careful"... about daily lunches with a male co-worker
Or you might not care what a bunch of gossips might be saying and know you and your souse trust each other. I mean seriously, all this LW said is that they go to lunch together and she's suspicious. She does not tell what makes her suspicious other than that they take breaks together. She would have zero suspicion if she was doing his with a female, but her own bias comes into play because its a man.

If someone told my wife that I was going to lunch with a female co-worker, her response would be, "yeah, and?".

When she was pregnant, we had concert tickets to a show about month before the due date. She ended up getting put on bedrest by the doctor. No work and definitely no concert. Guess who I took. A FEMALE friend.
pde

Bothell, WA

#30 Apr 22, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Or you might not care what a bunch of gossips might be saying and know you and your souse trust each other. I mean seriously, all this LW said is that they go to lunch together and she's suspicious. She does not tell what makes her suspicious other than that they take breaks together. She would have zero suspicion if she was doing his with a female, but her own bias comes into play because its a man.
If someone told my wife that I was going to lunch with a female co-worker, her response would be, "yeah, and?"
Right. My husband had female friends at work who he went out to lunch with, and I had male friends. Who cares what gossips think. I trust him, he trusts me.

Actually, at my previous office, I had about six male coworkers I went out to lunch with on a semi-regular basis. Sometimes, altogether, but often it was me and some guy.(Ironically, most of my software engineering coworkers were female but I did not have a good relationship with them; I had good relationships with the civil engineering department, which was all male.)

I and P went out to lunch probably three days a week, we also tended to hang out in the break room together. If someone had ever suggested to my husband that I and P were having an affair, he would have fallen over laughing. He knew P, he knew that P was friend material for me. P would never have been dating/affair material for me.(And P had the sweetest girlfriend around, who was nothing at all like me.)
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#31 Apr 23, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Because she's unaware of the "image" she's giving to at least her boss if not everyone else
If you're married, and your husband is your boss's friend, you might want to be... "careful"... about daily lunches with a male co-worker
We're the anomalo, dog.
I know you can go off and stuff, but it's eyebrow-raising if you're chummy with one guy and you always go off with that one guy.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#32 Apr 23, 2014
PEllen wrote:
Careful? How about I give my husband a call and see if he wants to join us at Cosi?
Fine
PEllen wrote:
Your approach is inching closer and closer to women needing to be accompanied by a male family member when in public with other men.
Next thing you will want is punishment commensurate to and similar to the crime, eye for an eye stuff.
What the hell are you talking about??
PEllen wrote:
Is any of this sounding familiar?
Not at all

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#33 Apr 23, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
When she was pregnant, we had concert tickets to a show about month before the due date. She ended up getting put on bedrest by the doctor. No work and definitely no concert. Guess who I took. A FEMALE friend.
Taking a female friend to a concert is SOOOO not the same thing as taking breaks and going out to lunch with a female coworker on a daily basis.

If I was the boss, and me and this girl's husband (we're friends, mind you) were out at the bar Friday night, I would probably "bring it up." (Bros before hose, and all that) If he said, "Oh, I know, that's cool," okay, issue dropped. But if he was like "Really, I had no idea...." I'd be all, hey, don't want to cause any problems, just thought you should know. And let it be their problem

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#34 Apr 23, 2014
cheluzal wrote:
We're the anomalo, dog.
That's 'cause we're the smartest btches on these boards, and you're the hottest!!

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#35 Apr 23, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
When she was pregnant, we had concert tickets to a show about month before the due date. She ended up getting put on bedrest by the doctor. No work and definitely no concert. Guess who I took. A FEMALE friend.
That's only cause no guys wanted to go see the backstreet boys with you.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#36 Apr 23, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Taking a female friend to a concert is SOOOO not the same thing as taking breaks and going out to lunch with a female coworker on a daily basis.
Strange, I thought you'd think that was even worse. Going out drinking at night, oh my! Either way, I've had female co-workers that I had lunch with more than once weekly as well. If you worked in that office and got ideas, I would not care. I go to work to do my job and get paid. Seriously, high school was a long time ago. Sounds like you're still there.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#37 Apr 23, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
If I was the boss, and me and this girl's husband (we're friends, mind you) were out at the bar Friday night, I would probably "bring it up." (Bros before hose, and all that) If he said, "Oh, I know, that's cool," okay, issue dropped. But if he was like "Really, I had no idea...." I'd be all, hey, don't want to cause any problems, just thought you should know. And let it be their problem
If I had any suspicion, I would do the same thing. My point is, you think even if she's doing nothing wrong, she has to worry about someone getting the wrong idea. I say f that. If you jump to conclusions, that's on you, not me. Tell my wife I'm having lunch with a female co-worker regularly and she would not blink.

The only misconceptions I give a rat's ass about at work are WORK related issues.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#38 Apr 23, 2014
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
That's only cause no guys wanted to go see the backstreet boys with you.
John Mayer. His radio play songs may be just as pussified as the backstreet boys, but that mfr can play blues guitar.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#39 Apr 23, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>John Mayer. His radio play songs may be just as pussified as the backstreet boys, but that mfr can play blues guitar.
I was just teasing.

Mike wife likes his music.

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