First Prev
of 2
Next Last

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#1 Apr 22, 2014
DEAR ABBY: I manage a group of 15 employees. A few months ago, I hired the wife of an old friend. Until now she has been a great employee, but recently she and a male co-worker have been taking lunches and breaks together in a way that leads me to believe they are flirting or have already crossed the line.

Because we have a small group, I worry about how this will affect my team, who know that she's married. I also feel bad for the husband, who is a very caring and kind man.

As a manager, I don't think I can say anything unless their liaison interferes with their work performance. But I hate to watch this progress and see people end up hurt. What can I do?-- MANAGEMENT DECISION

DEAR MANAGEMENT: Unless the flirtation becomes a distraction for "the team," you should stay out of it. Much as you might like to intervene, your friend's wife and this co-worker are adults and responsible for their own behavior.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend watches the 24-hour news channels and seems to be obsessed with them. It is hurting our relationship and affecting her happiness. She's constantly worried about national and international politics, global warming, the economy, health care, crime, etc. She neglects herself and her family. She seems agitated, anxious and depressed by all the news.

Is this a disease? How can I help her get off this habit? What should I do?-- MISERABLE IN MINNESOTA

DEAR MISERABLE: Your girlfriend appears to have become a news junkie. She's overstimulated and hooked on the adrenaline rush she gets from channel surfing from one tragedy, outrage and horror to the next. While this may not technically be a disease, it IS exhausting and depressing.

When the same thing started happening to me, I fixed it by turning off the news and going "cold turkey." After a four-day news blackout, I felt like my buoyant self again. Now I ration my exposure. Please share this with your girlfriend because it's what I'm recommending for her.

DEAR ABBY: At a wedding, while shaking hands with a friend, I accidentally bumped another friend's wine glass, staining his $180 shirt. The stain is a small one, on the lower portion and not very noticeable. Now the man insists I pay for the shirt.

Is there an etiquette rule on this issue? I feel bad, but not bad enough that I think I should pay for such an expensive shirt. If you have the means to pay for a shirt that expensive, I don't believe you should expect others to replace it.-- CHRIS IN DENVER

DEAR CHRIS: Good manners dictate that you offer to pay for having the shirt cleaned. A good dry cleaner may be able to remove the stain, but it should be done as soon as possible. Anytime a person has a stained garment, it should be taken to a professional and what caused the stain identified so it can be removed. Trying to treat it yourself can make removal more difficult.

If the stain is permanent, then you should pay to replace the shirt. Ask yourself what's more important -- 180 bucks or your friendship?

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#2 Apr 22, 2014
L2. That is not news that goof is watching on TV.
It is entertainment and they are getting her all riled up just like they intend.
People need to read the news, not watch some bubble-headed bleach blonde report about a plane crash with a gleam in her eye.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#3 Apr 22, 2014
1 MYOB, you will only end up in a lawsuit.

2 Yup, cold turkey. I found myself obsessing after 911, and I had to just turn the damn thing off for a few days to realize the world was not ending, or if it was, at least it was a sunny day.

3 No! Pay for the dry cleaning, but you are not responsible for replacement unless you actually poured the wine on his shirt.
Its his own damn fault, he should not have been drinking wine and standing so close to you, accidents happen and friends dont hound their friends for cash when its an accident.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#4 Apr 22, 2014
loose cannon wrote:
L2. That is not news that goof is watching on TV.
It is entertainment and they are getting her all riled up just like they intend.
People need to read the news, not watch some bubble-headed bleach blonde report about a plane crash with a gleam in her eye.
Interesting comment from someone known for disliking most rock music and rock musicians.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#5 Apr 22, 2014
3- dude is a jerk, offer to pay for the dry cleaning but don't buy him a new shirt.$180 dollars, really? Probably cost 30 and he's grifting you. Heard white wine will remove a red wine stain, tell him to try that

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#6 Apr 22, 2014
Lw3: not sure how i feel about this one without witnessing the accident. How at fault was lw?

And i try to wonder, what if it wasn't just a shirt? What if he spilled wine on the dude's phone and ruined it? Does the $180 sound worse cause its a shirt vs something most people agree is worth several hundred $$s?

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

#7 Apr 22, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Interesting comment from someone known for disliking most rock music and rock musicians.
Heh. I was going to say the same thing.

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

#8 Apr 22, 2014
L3: Offer to pay for the dry cleaning, MAYBE offer to buy the a *A* shirt, but not one that costs $180. Can he even prove that's what the original shirt cost? And it sounds like the friendship is over anyway, because they're both nitpicking this issue.

In general though, file this under "sh1t happens" and move on. I've had wine spilled on me and it never crossed my mind to ask anyone for money. And it came out in the wash anyway.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#9 Apr 22, 2014
LW1: I wouldn’t get involved in it.

LW2: Yes, it’s a disease. It’s called flaming liberalitis and there is no cure, absent a brain transplant. <teasing>

Why not just find a new girlfriend? There are a lot of women out there. Why try and fix one, which probably won’t work anyway. Why not find one who you don’t have to change to like?

LW3: If that happened to my shirt I wouldn’t dream to ask someone, even a complete stranger, to pay for the dry cleaning or the shirt even if it were ruined.

I would probably pay for the shirt if I did that and the guy demanded it, but I would think he was a jerk and he wouldn’t be my friend anymore.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#10 Apr 22, 2014
LW1: You may intervene only with respect to work rules. If they're taking extended lunches and breaks then you can be the stern boss and enforce any rules regarding that.

Other than that, have fun watching the train wreck!

LW2: "How can I help her get off this habit? What should I do?"

Stop paying the cable bill. Or do what my in-laws had to do with my teenaged husband; they put a padlock through the holes in the TV plug.

Maybe encourage her to get out there and actually *do* something about this stuff that's making her so upset. She seems to have a lot of time on her hands; encourage her to volunteer for the cause closet to her heart.

LW3: This is clearly a "sh!t happens" situation and regardless of how it plays out, this friendship is over.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#11 Apr 22, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
Lw3: not sure how i feel about this one without witnessing the accident. How at fault was lw?
And i try to wonder, what if it wasn't just a shirt? What if he spilled wine on the dude's phone and ruined it? Does the $180 sound worse cause its a shirt vs something most people agree is worth several hundred $$s?
I think that is part of it. No matter how expensive the shirt is, it seems way more replaceable than a phone.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#12 Apr 22, 2014
L1: You need to butt out.

L2: Have a good long chat with her.

L3: The person is an idiot. He's at least 1/2 at fault for this. You're shaking hands -- how does his wine glass get in the way? I find that strange. To demand someone pay for his expensive shirt is ridiculous.

I can get beyond how this possibly could have happened shaking someone's hand.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#13 Apr 22, 2014
Toj wrote:
L1: You need to butt out.
L2: Have a good long chat with her.
L3: The person is an idiot. He's at least 1/2 at fault for this. You're shaking hands -- how does his wine glass get in the way? I find that strange. To demand someone pay for his expensive shirt is ridiculous.
I can get beyond how this possibly could have happened shaking someone's hand.
it was not the person he shook hands with. It was another friend. Same questions though. If i am shaking bill's hand, how much of a spaz do i have to be to knock sam's glass of wine into his shirt? Most likely sam's own damn fault

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#14 Apr 22, 2014
Re-read, he was shaking the hand of one person, and bumped into another.
Toj wrote:
I can get beyond how this possibly could have happened shaking someone's hand.

“An Apple a day”

Since: Jun 08

nil carborundum illegitemi

#15 Apr 22, 2014
1. Hope you learned from this never to hire friends again.

2. Dump her.

3. You should have offered to pay for cleaning his shirt and why do you need to write an advice columnist about this silly issue. If you really wanted to know, write to Miss Manners.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#16 Apr 22, 2014
I can only envision a bro hug, and sam was raising his glass behind bill,
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>it was not the person he shook hands with. It was another friend. Same questions though. If i am shaking bill's hand, how much of a spaz do i have to be to knock sam's glass of wine into his shirt? Most likely sam's own damn fault

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#17 Apr 22, 2014
RACE wrote:
Re-read, he was shaking the hand of one person, and bumped into another.
<quoted text>
No, I got that. You're shaking hands with someone -- how do you bump into someone else without been a spaz (like Tonka said)?

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#18 Apr 22, 2014
Jerry Lewis could do it!
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
No, I got that. You're shaking hands with someone -- how do you bump into someone else without been a spaz (like Tonka said)?
Cass

Pomona, CA

#19 Apr 22, 2014
LW1 and 2 - Boring.

LW3 - Pay for the dry cleaning.
boundary painter

San Antonio, TX

#20 Apr 22, 2014
Want to play glance into the future for LW1? LW1 chose to:
(a) counsel the employees that they need to charge it leave when they
do not return from lunch break--and that that policy applies across the board for everyone.
(b) sighed and realized that people (to include the husband who is LW1's friend) can take care of themselves and left well enough alone.
(c) asked for a profit appraisal and looked for a greater return of investment on the work of all employees so that the business would
keep turning a profit.
or
(d) other

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Chicago Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 5 min Yeah 1,114,991
BARACK OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE: Suit contesting... (Jan '09) 27 min Rogue Scholar 05 178,582
Once slow-moving threat, global warming speeds ... (Dec '08) 28 min Patriot AKA Bozo 46,990
Topix Chitown Regulars (Aug '09) 33 min PEllen 98,344
Ill. House Approves Legalizing Same-Sex Civil U... (Dec '10) 1 hr On Again Off Again 50,020
Messianic Jews say they are persecuted in Israel (Jun '08) 1 hr Eric 69,484
A short math question. I will reply with answer... 2 hr Whats the Bulb An... 8

Chicago Jobs

Chicago People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

Chicago News, Events & Info

Click for news, events and info in Chicago

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]