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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Jan 30, 2013
DEAR ABBY: Do women ever initiate sex with men, or must they always be wooed, cajoled, begged or persuaded? I have a fairly good physical relationship with my wife, but it happens only when I make the overtures. I am left with the conclusion that either the physical act isn't that enjoyable or I am not very desirable.

If every encounter must start with me, and my wife can take it or leave it, is she just doing me a favor? Must sex always start with the guy, or can women demonstrate more overt interest?-- UNDERSEXED IN OHIO

DEAR UNDERSEXED: Many women -- but not all -- initiate sex with their partner. If your wife doesn't, it may be she isn't comfortable being the aggressor, her hormone levels have changed, sex may have become painful for her, or she never got much out of it in the first place.

Not knowing her, I can't explain why she never makes the first move. But this I am sure of -- until you have a frank and honest discussion with her about it, nothing is going to change, and it may need to happen with the help of a marriage counselor.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to "Richard" for three years, but we have lived together for 10. I was Richard's first and only girlfriend. He's very shy and reserved, while I have always been the outgoing, rebellious type.

I have been communicating with another man, "Drew," for about a year. It started out as me just having a little fun, but now I'm seriously considering leaving Richard. Although Drew and I have never met in person, we're romantically involved and both of us believe we're in love.

I love Richard, but I just don't feel "in love" anymore. We have lost our connection. We have talked about our communication problems, and he knows about Drew. Despite my explaining what the problems were, I feel he has ignored the issues.

We have been trying to get pregnant for years and it hasn't happened. I'm starting to believe it is a sign that I should move on. Should I follow my heart and be with Drew or stay with Richard despite my feelings? Please help.-- DISTRAUGHT IN TEXAS

DEAR DISTRAUGHT: I'm willing to wager that if you devoted just a fraction of the energy you have spent on your extracurricular relationship to your husband, your marriage would be in better shape. With the help of a marriage counselor you might even be able to address those issues you feel have been ignored and re-establish your "connection."

But for you to throw away your marriage for someone you haven't met in person would be a serious mistake. Be glad that you haven't gotten pregnant and dragged a child into this. It would have broken your husband's heart, not only because you abandoned him but also because he would have been separated from the child he loved.

DEAR ABBY: A year ago I gave my brother-in-law a framed print that had belonged to my late husband. Some time afterward, out of curiosity, I researched it and found that it is worth far more than I realized -- several thousand dollars.

I haven't mentioned this to my brother-in-law. I would never ask for the print back, but would it be OK to let him know the value and mention that if he ever decides not to keep it, I might like it returned?(I would sell it and put the money in my daughter's college fund.)-- GAVE MORE THAN I THOUGHT

DEAR GAVE: Level with your brother-in-law about having researched the print and ask him to return it. When you do, tell him you need the money for your daughter's college fund. Offer to exchange it for an item with sentimental value. Honesty is the best policy, and he may agree.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#2 Jan 30, 2013
LW1: "Do women ever initiate sex with men, or must they always be wooed, cajoled, begged or persuaded?"
No. Never. No women ever initiate. And of course, every woman acts the exact same way.

LW2: What Abby said. Hell, the perfect ending to this story would be for him to leave you, find someone who loves him, and starts a family while you never find anyone and find out you're barren.

LW3: No Abby. She did not say she needs the money. At least not any more than any other normal person who is not filthy rich. She simply said that she would put that in daughter's college fund. If she didn't have a daughter, I'm sure she could find some other use for it. So NEED is not an issue. She gave the picture away. End of story. Is this brother in law her husban'd brother or her sister's husband. Imagine if it was her brother's husband.

"Here is picture that belonged to your brother."
"Thank you. I don't have to many keepsakes from him"
"I want it back. Its worth money. I'm going to sell it."

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#3 Jan 30, 2013
1 Poor guy, I bet you never get a hummer either. I suggest watching porn, maybe she is just unsure how to initiate being sltty.

2 Of course you should be with drew. It's obvious your in love with him, despite not even knowing if he has all of his teeth. And if it turns out that drew is really married with kids, so much the better for you. Actually you will be doing richard a favor, you will be releasing him from a life of being unloved.

3 Amby's suggestion sucked, the LW has the right idea, but what if he never returns the print? Face it lady, you did a kindness and your just going to have to live with that.

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#4 Jan 30, 2013
L1. "There's nothing as cold as ashes, after the fire is gone"

Really, the problem here is that sex is mechanical for you. And that passion, foreplay and intrigue have fallen by the love-making wayside.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#5 Jan 30, 2013
loose cannon wrote:
L1. "There's nothing as cold as ashes, after the fire is gone"
Really, the problem here is that sex is mechanical for you. And that passion, foreplay and intrigue have fallen by the love-making wayside.
So passion, foreplay, and intrigue are all male-centric? His wife can't intiate that passion and foreplay?

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#6 Jan 30, 2013
Sounds like a SNL skit!
Mister Tonka wrote:
"Here is picture that belonged to your brother."
"Thank you. I don't have to many keepsakes from him"
"I want it back. Its worth money. I'm going to sell it."

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#7 Jan 30, 2013
L1: Marriage counseling. I'm on your side, buddy.

L2: Please divorce your man so he can find someone worthy of him, not some idiot skank like yourself.

L3: No, don't say anything.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#8 Jan 30, 2013
I suggested marriage counseling because I think that's the best way for him to learn to communicate with his wife what he needs from her. And she may need to hear it from an objective third party that it's OKAY to initiate sex.

Men deserve to feel wanted.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#9 Jan 30, 2013
LW1: Why donít you ask your wife?

LW2: Do Richard the favor and go run off with the guy you met playing WoW.

LW3: First just because someone is asking for a certain amount on the internet, the amount you can ACTUALLY get is probably lower than several thousand dollars. Second, you gave it away. It is now your BILís. Would you go ask him for a piece of art on his wall, that you had not given him, if you knew it was worth several thousand dollars. If not, donít ask for this back.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#10 Jan 30, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
LW3: First just because someone is asking for a certain amount on the internet, the amount you can ACTUALLY get is probably lower than several thousand dollars.
Great point.(1) something is worth only what someone else is willing to pay for it.(2) An independent collector may pay a good price for something, but a dealer will have to buy it a bit cheaper in order to be able to make a profit when he sells it.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#11 Jan 30, 2013
LW1: Shouldn't you be talking to your wife about this?

LW2: Yeah, this is going to work out exactly like you have daydreamed about. <eyeroll>

LW3: I think you should tell him for informational purposes only. He may want to increase his homeowners/renters insurance accordingly. But to ask for it back would be tres tacky.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#12 Jan 30, 2013
squishymama wrote:
LW3: I think you should tell him for informational purposes only. He may want to increase his homeowners/renters insurance accordingly. But to ask for it back would be tres tacky.
I like your angle.

"I recently found out, out of curiosity, that the print I gave you is worth $7,500. You may want to get it appraised and add an insurance rider."

Also, this brother-in-law very well could be her dead husband's brother. Why ask for something back when it could have sentimental value for HIM as well?

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#13 Jan 30, 2013
L1: First of all, the way you're asking Abby seems like you're not talking to your wife. Women like communication (I think men usually do, too). Start with that, Bozo.

L2: You're an idiot. Good call -- go with a guy you've never laid eyes on.(sarcasm)

L3: Seriously, Abby? You never take back a gift, period. The LW should tell him so he could get it properly insured and tell him if he ever wants to get rid of it to check with the LW first.

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

#14 Jan 30, 2013
1 Make her dinner and serve it by candlelight, pop in "The Notebook" and then have her read a few chapters of "50 Shades of Gray" . Hopefully then she'll jump your bones.

2 What a catch you are! Let me elbow the men out of the way to become your man! Not.

3 Gone baby gone. Learn to research first ya twit.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#15 Jan 30, 2013
I love the sarcastic responses to L1 & L2. I was ready to bounce my face off my desk after reading those gems.

Since: Nov 10

Alexandria, VA

#16 Jan 30, 2013
L1- Watch some porn together.
Sam I Am

Cedar Grove, TN

#17 Jan 30, 2013
1. How about you ask your wife? Some people just aren't initiators but they enjoy the activity. Some people like being chased. Why are you writing to Abby to find out about "women?" All you need to worry about is your wife, and the only way you are going to figure things out is to talk to her.

2. By all means, leave for someone you've never met and who you've romanticized based on incomplete information. The question is not whether you should leave Richard for the Drew, it's whether you should stay with Richard.

3. Someone needs to go to the dictionary and look up the definition of "gift."
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#18 Jan 30, 2013
Team Sam x3.
boundary painter

San Antonio, TX

#19 Jan 30, 2013
LW2 needs to stop giving Texas a bad name.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#20 Jan 30, 2013
Ha! Did you read about the website texxxan dot com? was a revenge site for guys. They would post naked pics of their x's with names and addresses too.
boundary painter wrote:
LW2 needs to stop giving Texas a bad name.

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