“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 Aug 27, 2014
DEAR ABBY: Five years ago, my husband got drunk and physically attacked me in front of his family. It was horrible. I was in shock, and our relationship never recovered.

The next four years were a series of court visits for custody of our child and eventually a divorce. Last year, his mother began requesting visits with our son. I was happy about it because I have tried to be accommodating to my ex and his family regarding our son.

Finally, late last year, I called my ex to ask if we could sit down and discuss our son (something we had never done). We have met twice during the last two weeks, and each time had long conversations about everything.(Our son, our past, our relationship.) Many misconceptions were cleared up, and it's obvious that we both have made many necessary changes within ourselves.

Now I'm confused about what comes next. Speaking with him has brought back so many feelings. Prior to the attack, our stress levels had been high and our communication was terrible, but there had been no physical violence. I'm not sure if this is the universe giving us an opportunity to give the family we started another chance. Should we start over?-- WAVERING IN NEW YORK

DEAR WAVERING: What comes next might be that you and your ex can become good friends and parent your son in a congenial, cooperative fashion. What comes next might be that you rekindle your romance. Or it might be that you get back together and he assaults you again.

If your ex has sought help for his drinking and anger management issues, a reconciliation could work out beautifully. However, if he hasn't, I certainly wouldn't recommend it. Sometimes people can care deeply about each other, but shouldn't be married.

DEAR ABBY: My 95-year-old mom feels that her age "entitles" her to speak without a filter, and she has become totally intolerant and critical. She is mentally sharp and highly intelligent, which makes her nasty comments even more hurtful to family and friends.

Standing up to her isn't an option because of her age and she knows it. She doesn't seem to recognize how damaging her attitude has become to those who love her. If you could print this and offer some advice, she might recognize herself.-- A LOVING SON

DEAR LOVING SON: The fact that someone has celebrated 95 birthdays does not give the person license to be deliberately unkind to others. Negativity is an unattractive trait, regardless of how old you are. People who deliberately say hurtful things invariably find the circle of those who want to be around them shrinking.

My advice to your mother would be, before opening her mouth, ask herself whether what she has to say is true, helpful and kind. And if it isn't all three, she should rephrase her comment or not say it at all.

DEAR ABBY: What does one say to casual acquaintances who stop by uninvited and with no prior phone call?-- NANCY IN AURORA, COLO.

DEAR NANCY: Let me tell you first what one doesn't say. It's "Come in!" It is perfectly acceptable to explain that the person caught you in the middle of your housework or a project you need to finish and, please, in the future to call before dropping by so you can make some plans together.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#2 Aug 27, 2014
3- Dear Abby, what's the best way to wipe my @zz?
Community Disorganizer

Trumbull, CT

#3 Aug 27, 2014
LW 1: Go ahead and have sex with him; you're obviously horny.

LW 2: Tell the old bag to STFU!

LW 3: Tell them to get lost.

Since: Dec 09

Smalltown, Colorado

#4 Aug 27, 2014
LW1 - Do not even think of going back to your ex husband. He is on good behavior now that you are apart. If you want to go back living with a drunk and abuser, think again. He hasn't changed.

LW2 - Your husband needs to say, "Your actions make both my wife and me uncomfortable. Please stop". If he can't get those two sentences out, he is a wuss.

LW3 - Do not answer the door.

LW4 - I am in a bad mood.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#5 Aug 27, 2014
1 Get back together, the last 5 yrs never happened.

2 Stupid answer, the guy just got done saying the old bitty does not use a filter. All's you can do is tell her why you are leaving when she starts up, then do it.

3 If you need help with this you are beyond help.

4 Shari needs a coconut oil massage.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#6 Aug 27, 2014
Lw1: What Abby said

Lw2: Not what Abby said. Hey, Stupid. Grandma did not write this letter, so why is your advice for her.

Marina, CA

#7 Aug 27, 2014
LW1: Team Shari. And the part of Abby's answer where she says you can be good friends and parent your child in a congenial manner.

LW2: Team Race.

LW3: That depends on what you are doing and if you are interested in spending a few minutes with them. "Good to see you, thanks for dropping by", followed by whatever you feel like. If you are busy, "gotta run, let's get together soon", if not, "would you like some coffee?" and you spend a few minutes with them.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#8 Aug 27, 2014
LW1: Of course things are fine when you aren’t living together, having to interact with each other every day, and experiencing stress. The guy can’t control his temper, however. He also gets physically abusive when angry. That’s a really bad combo. I don’t know if anger management classes can fix that. Either you can control that or you can’t.

LW2: Ask her if her hip can cash the checks her mouth is writing? J/K

LW3: "Sweet! I was just cleaning the bathrooms, and you showed up just in time to help me."

Since: Dec 09

Smalltown, Colorado

#9 Aug 27, 2014
RACE wrote:
4 Shari needs a coconut oil massage.
Yes, yes yes!

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Chicago Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
After hillary choked, what really happened with... 10 min BodyCountRises 18
What really happened to these Clinton aquaintan... 18 min BodyCountRises 25
News BARACK OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE: Suit contesting... (Jan '09) 35 min District 1 227,947
Opiates and other pain Relief meds right here 1 hr Verfied 1
News Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 2 hr the deplorable Jo... 1,442,559
News Once slow-moving threat, global warming speeds ... (Dec '08) 2 hr OzRitz 61,785
Hillary hated by security officers. 4 hr HRC is BIG SISTER 13
Topix Chitown Regulars (Aug '09) 8 hr republican voter 103,935

Chicago Jobs

More from around the web

Personal Finance

Chicago Mortgages