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“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#41 Aug 2, 2013
Not having a clue how FB works...
I imagined that the people are posting on the sons FB page which is not the open forum that we have on Topix. And as such I would imagine that those people felt a little more insulated from the random snark of unknown posters (the mother).
I would liken it to the mother showing up at a party the son was hosting, and her proceeding to preach to his guests about their life choices and sexual orientations. Some guests may have come dressed in drag because they did not expect someone to start preaching to them at his house.

But as I said... No clue how FB works.
PEllen wrote:
I re-read the original letter. LW's mom was arguing with LW's friends about their lifestyles presumably from things she read on FB . If it was LW who has been confiding in his mom, he should STFU. If mom has just been responding to other people's FB postings, he has no gripes.
1. He can unfriend her
2. his friends are big boys/girls. If they don't want to be harangued they should unfriend mom, delete her posts or not post stuff in public.
3. Public conduct begets public comment, something my elder girl learned in 3rd grade.
4. LW is not responsible for his mother and his mother is not responsible for him. Think of her as a blathering former manager .
FWIW, the older generation that is new to the i-net has less inhibitions and tact and hasn't figured out that whatever you post or send lasts forever and on a well lighted billboard. BUT, this group is now in their late 60's. Everyone else who has been working already "knows" this.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#42 Aug 2, 2013
PEllen wrote:
I re-read the original letter. LW's mom was arguing with LW's friends about their lifestyles presumably from things she read on FB . If it was LW who has been confiding in his mom, he should STFU. If mom has just been responding to other people's FB postings, he has no gripes.
1. He can unfriend her
2. his friends are big boys/girls. If they don't want to be harangued they should unfriend mom, delete her posts or not post stuff in public.
3. Public conduct begets public comment, something my elder girl learned in 3rd grade.
4. LW is not responsible for his mother and his mother is not responsible for him. Think of her as a blathering former manager .
FWIW, the older generation that is new to the i-net has less inhibitions and tact and hasn't figured out that whatever you post or send lasts forever and on a well lighted billboard. BUT, this group is now in their late 60's. Everyone else who has been working already "knows" this.
Thank you, PE, that's exactly what I've been saying. Glad YOU get it.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#43 Aug 2, 2013
Random posts or not (although I mainly agree with Race), it is different when it is a mother posting negative stuff on a son's FB page to his friends AND people from his work.

It just is.

Think about it this way. Edog, if you brought your mother to your work and she started critizing your boss for something he said or was wearing, would that be okay with you?

I don't care how you slice it, if your mother is not loyal to your image for your own workplace and bad mouths people in front of you that are you friends and coworkers/superiors, that is a direct reflection on you and whether or not that is specifically correct logically, it is a reflection on the son/you.

You could big a "big boy" and say "hey, she's entitled to her opinion but that's not my view" but it isn't going to repair things.

He should unfriend her and teach her a thing or two about FB.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#44 Aug 2, 2013
It is rude to criticize people the way this mom is doing it. IT. IS. RUDE. Duh.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#45 Aug 2, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
It is rude to criticize people the way this mom is doing it. IT. IS. RUDE. Duh.
So treat her the way you treat any other RUDE person on FB.

BTW I disagree with Toj. I don't think that a parent's behavior is attributed to the adult kid. She just becomes Jon's nutcase mom.

I have worked places where the parent and kid are both employe and were one or the other was screwy. I don't think anyone blamed the good one for anything other than nepotism. But that is not the gripe here. I think To has an adult son if I recall. If he gets drunk and starts saying outrageous stuff very few people would blame Toj or attribute his hypothetical rant to her.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#46 Aug 2, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
So treat her the way you treat any other RUDE person on FB.
BTW I disagree with Toj. I don't think that a parent's behavior is attributed to the adult kid. She just becomes Jon's nutcase mom.
I have worked places where the parent and kid are both employe and were one or the other was screwy. I don't think anyone blamed the good one for anything other than nepotism. But that is not the gripe here. I think To has an adult son if I recall. If he gets drunk and starts saying outrageous stuff very few people would blame Toj or attribute his hypothetical rant to her.
True -- son's friends can block his mom and then she won't even see their posts on his wall, can't reply to them, etc.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#47 Aug 2, 2013
Toj wrote:
Random posts or not (although I mainly agree with Race), it is different when it is a mother posting negative stuff on a son's FB page to his friends AND people from his work.
It just is.
Think about it this way. Edog, if you brought your mother to your work and she started critizing your boss for something he said or was wearing, would that be okay with you?
I don't care how you slice it, if your mother is not loyal to your image for your own workplace and bad mouths people in front of you that are you friends and coworkers/superiors, that is a direct reflection on you and whether or not that is specifically correct logically, it is a reflection on the son/you.
You could big a "big boy" and say "hey, she's entitled to her opinion but that's not my view" but it isn't going to repair things.
He should unfriend her and teach her a thing or two about FB.
Now he's the facebook etiquette police? And this is SO not the same as bringing mommy to work, so, no comparison there. He shouldn't be fb friends with his boss and coworkers anyway, so that's on him. But they're all big boys, they can learn to deal. Mom is still entitled to her opinion.
Julie

Chicago, IL

#50 Aug 3, 2013
Dog: "I have no clue what you're talking about."
Don't worry about it, Hon. We're all used to that.

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