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1 - 8 of 8 Comments Last updated Dec 9, 2013

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

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#1
Dec 8, 2013
 
DEAR ABBY: I was laid off from work, but my husband, "Keith," works full-time in a factory. We live with his parents. By the time Keith gets home from work and gets cleaned up, it's time to eat dinner. Immediately afterward, we always follow the same routine: We go in our bedroom and he goes on the computer to play video games, while I sit and watch TV and play on my phone.

We love each other and rarely disagree about things, but this isn't fun for me. I have told Keith I feel ignored and I'd love to do something with him. He says because our town is smallish, there's not a lot to do that doesn't cost money.

Keith is into the video games, so much so that when we first met, he'd sit in his bedroom and play for hours on end. We're planning a vacation in the next month or so, so it's not like we do nothing at all. But I don't know how to improve our situation.-- CALLING FOR HELP IN KOKOMO, IND.

DEAR CALLING FOR HELP: After a hard day's work, your husband may just want to sit down and relax. But that doesn't mean you couldn't schedule some activity together on a weekend -- hiking, skating, kayaking, going to an art show or seeing what's scheduled at the convention center. You could also make a date with other young married couples, or occasionally schedule a girls' night out with some of your female friends.

I agree that it's important for you and your husband not to get into a rut. That's why you need to budget so you can get out and have some fun together a few times a month.

DEAR ABBY: Several years ago I met "Holly," the love of my life. We married and had a child. Soon after our son's birth, I found out Holly had a boyfriend on the side. Our divorce was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. Because of her instability, I was granted custody of our son.

Since the divorce I have developed an attraction to men. Is this normal after a nasty divorce? I never thought of myself as gay or bi until about a year afterward. I know that I never again want to experience the pain I went through.

I have been celibate now for almost four years, and I'm trying my best to set a good example for my son. I miss having someone to hold and share life with, but in the area where I live, having a gay relationship would cause me to lose my son. Any advice you can offer would be appreciated.-- IS THIS NORMAL? IN ARIZONA

DEAR NORMAL: It is important that you determine exactly who you are, whether it is a walking-wounded heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual. A licensed psychotherapist can help you with this, and do it in confidence.

Regardless of your sexual orientation, you should realize that when breakups happen between couples -- and that includes male/male, female/female and heterosexual -- there is usually heartbreak involved. However, without risk there can be no reward, and celibacy is not the answer. If it turns out that you are, indeed, gay, then you should consider relocating to a more gay-friendly area.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

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#2
Dec 9, 2013
 
1- On who's dime are they going to go do stuff a few times a month? They're living with his parents so it's not like they're financially independent. Maybe the woman wouldn't be so antsy to do stuff if she had a job.

2- Geez, why is everyone gay lately? After four years of celibacy, ANYONE might start to look good. Get a girlfriend, dude. Get laid.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#3
Dec 9, 2013
 

Judged:

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1 Things will get better once your teen years end.

2 So, are you choosing to be gay or choosing not to be gay? I am guessing your X knew something was up, but she should have offered a 3 some with him, you might still be married.

Since: Aug 08

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#4
Dec 9, 2013
 

Judged:

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LW1: You need to speak up.

Iím fine doing my own thing a lot of times, but if she feels the need to have more alone time with me, my wife will sometimes simply ask, can we spend some time together tonight Ö would you like to watch a movie or a show with me Ö play a game with me, such as naked twister, lol.

There are things you can do together that donít involve money, him doing one thing and you doing another, and going out.

LW2: Holy cluster fí. Maybe thatís why she had a bfÖ No, thatís not normal, unless you were gay all along.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#5
Dec 9, 2013
 
Lw1: So you got married expecting him to change and he got married ecpecting things to stay the same.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#6
Dec 9, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
1 Things will get better once your teen years end.
2 So, are you choosing to be gay or choosing not to be gay? I am guessing your X knew something was up, but she should have offered a 3 some with him, you might still be married.
Save me the typing.
1. Race
2. Race

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#7
Dec 9, 2013
 

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LW1: Expecting him to go out on the week nights is completely unreasonable. He has worked hard (I'm assuming a lot here) and would like to relax. You knew he was a gamer when you married him, so either figure out a game you can play with him or leave him be. Maybe you could get him to watch tv with you one or two nights a week, but don't really expect much more.

But the weekends should be a different story. ONE shared activity in two days should not be that hard to pull off.

And WTF is Abby yammering about a convention center? They live in a smallish town; don't really think they're gonna have one of those.

LW2: I get that you want someone to share your life with, but guess what? You already have one - your child. And you need to get your head straight (no pun intened) and figure out which way you roll in a way that will not hurt him or eff him up too badly. So I'm going to suggest that the celibacy might not be such a bad thing in your current state of mind and that you find someone with whom you can talk this out.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#8
Dec 9, 2013
 
L1: I remember my aunt telling me when her and her husband fell into a rut of not going out. She simply had a talk with him that they needed to have "fun" together again. Talk to him and schedule date nights. He might be a little depressed b/c you are living with his parents. I would be.

L2: Go see a therapist. You are too screwed up, dude.

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