Amy 2-17

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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

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#3
Feb 17, 2014
 
2- You're a liberal, there's your problem. Go conservative and things might start turning around for you

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#4
Feb 17, 2014
 
Cass

Claremont, CA

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#5
Feb 17, 2014
 
LW1 - Stop paying their bills!

LW2 - Your life sucks. I'd say on the scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being "peachy" and 10 being "go jump off a bridge," you are at an 8. Does that help?

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#6
Feb 17, 2014
 
Dear Amy: I have a niece who has lost custody of all of her children (she has seven). She has never been able to take care of herself, is addicted to methadone and I know uses other drugs.

She and the father of baby No. 7 have again asked me for money, this time to help pay rent at her uncle's house.

I have never been able to say no; often I just pay the bill I try not to send cash. My friends and some professionals have told me I should not enable them, but I feel it would have weighed less on my heart to pay.

I know the cost of their cigarettes alone is enough to pay half their rent.

I am angry that she has hurt her children.

I love her dearly, and I know her two oldest kids worry about her.

She obviously has mental illness and has resources available to her but has never completely utilized these services.

My focus has been toward the children, but she is still family. What do you advise? Burnt Out Auntie

Dear Burnt Out: Why should your niece utilize any social services when she has you?

Until you admit and take ownership for the part you have played in contributing to this mess, you will not be able to behave differently.

The way I see it, your cash infusion is really not about your niece, but about you. You write a check to avoid feeling bad about yourself.

Somebody in this scenario has to muster up the sheer guts it takes to tolerate feeling unsure, guilty, worried or anxious. Your niece is obviously incapable of doing anything except feeding her own addiction. You're going to have to stop helping her be an addict. Other than helping her navigate through the social services network and taking her to a clinic for a birth control consultation, you should not contribute.

Behind many addicted people is a wonderful and concerned family member (like you) who will literally as addictions specialists say "love their family member to death."

If you had never paid their bills, this couple might have been forced to choose between cigarettes and a roof over their heads.

If you are worried about the children, then stay connected to them. Bailing out their mother does absolutely nothing for them.

xxxxx

PEllen here.

People like this LW drive me nuts

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#7
Feb 17, 2014
 
LW2. You forgot to add in the self pity.

Child support is set by percentages of income these days in most states.

Therefore you have income and a job something a lot of other people don't.

How much contact do you have with your child or are you estrange from him too? Why won't the insurance go to your kid?

Change the beneficiary to the Anti Cruelty Society and start adopting cats.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#8
Feb 17, 2014
 
1 If you feel guilty about paying their rent, then start buying their smokes instead..

2 Yeah, courts always give custody to the crazy stalker parent Why do you suppose that is?

3 Yeah, all well and good till you get un-friended for no reason at all.

Since: Dec 09

Smalltown, Colorado

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#9
Feb 17, 2014
 
The letters are beyond my comprehension today. But I'm sitting on the deck in the sun drinking vodka and tonics. (I know it's early, but it's 5:00 someplace. We are just so glad to be out of the deep freeze and into the sun.

Since: Dec 09

Smalltown, Colorado

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#10
Feb 17, 2014
 
I gotta cut myself off and quit posting twice.
Kuuipo

Salinas, CA

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#11
Feb 17, 2014
 
LWs today have some serious problems. I am so blessed.
pde

Bothell, WA

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#12
Feb 17, 2014
 
WTH?

LW2: Actually, your insurance is likely going to your kid if you die. If you really don't want your ex-husband to get a hold of it at that point, I would recommend talking to a lawyer to see if you can get it set up so that it goes into a trust fund for your son to be held until he is an adult rather than directly to your son (and thus your ex-husband if your son is still a minor).

Since: Feb 14

Chicago, IL

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#13
Feb 17, 2014
 
Ok I'm new to this so please bare with me. I don't want this to be long and drawn out. But I'm desperately looking for help with a very serious situation that has happened with my 7 yr old son and an employee of Chicago public schools. Long story short my son came home from school last week telling my husband and I that a teacher aid had lifted my 1st grader up off the floor by grabbing around his neck. Then she proceeded to hit his head into the wall multiple times. There was another child witness to the incident. So my son had goose egg on his forehead. My son continues to tell us that through the rest of the day he tried to tell a couple of people and was told to shut up or be quite each time. So obviously we take him to the E.R. he has a contusioun and hemotoma.my husband then takes him to the police station. The cops tell my husband that we have to wait for the school to get a meeting with evryone involved.(School didn't contact us until the following week only after DCFS contacted them) I've also been in contact with the school board, the local network of the school. DCFS does their investigation and interveiws my son and our other children. They went to the school and interveiwed the other children that wittnessed the incident. Then the DCFS investigater tells my husband that she was told by school staff that my son had taken a bright yellow orange and green plastic gun to school and that she didn't believe in kids playing with guns.(My son has a fasination with cops and fbi) she then concluded that the other children was unreliable. She says that she thinks its a good school and that we should leave our children there.(They already in a new school) this person admitted to my husband that she had picked up my son and shook him. Why hasn't been punished? If my son had gone to school and told them that my husband or I had assaulted him that way and u already know we would be locked up and kids taken so fast. My son is now having nightmares and scared to go to school. I'm so angry and hurt for my son. He didn't deserve to be treated that way. I'm trying to get this story to the news but all the websites I found haven't been any help. PLEASE HELP! THIS MONSTER IS GOING TO CONTINUE TO ABUSE CHILDREN AND THE SCHOOL IS GOING TO CONTINUE TO SWEEP IT UNDER THE RUG! HELP... THIS IS A SCHOOL THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CLOSED WITH THE REST AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SCHOOL YEAR. BUT THEY FIRED EVERYONE AND BROUGHT IN ALL NEW EMPLOYEES....

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#14
Feb 17, 2014
 
leavingchiraq2014 wrote:
Ok I'm new to this so please bare with me. I don't want this to be long and drawn out. But I'm desperately looking for help with a very serious situation that has happened with my 7 yr old son and an employee of Chicago public schools. Long story short my son came home from school last week telling my husband and I that a teacher aid had lifted my 1st grader up off the floor by grabbing around his neck. Then she proceeded to hit his head into the wall multiple times. There was another child witness to the incident. So my son had goose egg on his forehead. My son continues to tell us that through the rest of the day he tried to tell a couple of people and was told to shut up or be quite each time. So obviously we take him to the E.R. he has a contusioun and hemotoma.my husband then takes him to the police station. The cops tell my husband that we have to wait for the school to get a meeting with evryone involved.(School didn't contact us until the following week only after DCFS contacted them) I've also been in contact with the school board, the local network of the school. DCFS does their investigation and interveiws my son and our other children. They went to the school and interveiwed the other children that wittnessed the incident. Then the DCFS investigater tells my husband that she was told by school staff that my son had taken a bright yellow orange and green plastic gun to school and that she didn't believe in kids playing with guns.(My son has a fasination with cops and fbi) she then concluded that the other children was unreliable. She says that she thinks its a good school and that we should leave our children there.(They already in a new school) this person admitted to my husband that she had picked up my son and shook him. Why hasn't been punished? If my son had gone to school and told them that my husband or I had assaulted him that way and u already know we would be locked up and kids taken so fast. My son is now having nightmares and scared to go to school. I'm so angry and hurt for my son. He didn't deserve to be treated that way. I'm trying to get this story to the news but all the websites I found haven't been any help. PLEASE HELP! THIS MONSTER IS GOING TO CONTINUE TO ABUSE CHILDREN AND THE SCHOOL IS GOING TO CONTINUE TO SWEEP IT UNDER THE RUG! HELP... THIS IS A SCHOOL THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CLOSED WITH THE REST AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SCHOOL YEAR. BUT THEY FIRED EVERYONE AND BROUGHT IN ALL NEW EMPLOYEES....
CPS won't help you, CPD won't help you, DCFS won't help you, what do you expect a bunch of anonymous online idiots to do? Hire a lawyer.
Southloop005

Chicago, IL

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#15
Feb 19, 2014
 
leavingchiraq2014 wrote:
Ok I'm new to this so please bare with me. I don't want this to be long and drawn out. But I'm desperately looking for help with a very serious situation that has happened with my 7 yr old son and an employee of Chicago public schools. Long story short my son came home from school last week telling my husband and I that a teacher aid had lifted my 1st grader up off the floor by grabbing around his neck. Then she proceeded to hit his head into the wall multiple times. There was another child witness to the incident. So my son had goose egg on his forehead. My son continues to tell us that through the rest of the day he tried to tell a couple of people and was told to shut up or be quite each time. So obviously we take him to the E.R. he has a contusioun and hemotoma.my husband then takes him to the police station. The cops tell my husband that we have to wait for the school to get a meeting with evryone involved.(School didn't contact us until the following week only after DCFS contacted them) I've also been in contact with the school board, the local network of the school. DCFS does their investigation and interveiws my son and our other children. They went to the school and interveiwed the other children that wittnessed the incident. Then the DCFS investigater tells my husband that she was told by school staff that my son had taken a bright yellow orange and green plastic gun to school and that she didn't believe in kids playing with guns.(My son has a fasination with cops and fbi) she then concluded that the other children was unreliable. She says that she thinks its a good school and that we should leave our children there.(They already in a new school) this person admitted to my husband that she had picked up my son and shook him. Why hasn't been punished? If my son had gone to school and told them that my husband or I had assaulted him that way and u already know we would be locked up and kids taken so fast. My son is now having nightmares and scared to go to school. I'm so angry and hurt for my son. He didn't deserve to be treated that way. I'm trying to get this story to the news but all the websites I found haven't been any help. PLEASE HELP! THIS MONSTER IS GOING TO CONTINUE TO ABUSE CHILDREN AND THE SCHOOL IS GOING TO CONTINUE TO SWEEP IT UNDER THE RUG! HELP... THIS IS A SCHOOL THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CLOSED WITH THE REST AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SCHOOL YEAR. BUT THEY FIRED EVERYONE AND BROUGHT IN ALL NEW EMPLOYEES....
I suggest finding and hiring a lawyer ASAP! I would also send the letter you wrote above to Anita Alvarez, the Cook County State's Attorney. There are plenty of attorneys who will look at your case and make an informed decision based on the best interest of your child. You just need to do your own "homework" here. It looks like you're already on the the right path. Good luck to you and kudos for trying to protect your child.

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