“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#1 May 10, 2014
DEAR ABBY: I'm 16 and I need help. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend, "Bailey," for six months and things are complicated. She's very insecure, and it's hard to keep her happy for any extended period of time.

I have thought about breaking up with her because I want her to be happy, and the same goes for me. But then I think I'd rather be miserable at times and happy at others and be with her, than end it and possibly feel worse.

Please give me some advice. I love Bailey and I don't know what to do.-- LOST IN ARIZONA

DEAR LOST: Have a talk with Bailey and tell her that although you love her, her insecurity and mood swings make it difficult. If you do, it may give her something to think about. The problem with insecurity is it can eventually drive a boyfriend -- or girlfriend -- away when it becomes smothering.

P.S. There is truth to the saying that you can't MAKE someone happy; happiness has to come from within.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I are in our 40s and have been living together for several years. The house we live in is in his name only, and he pays the mortgage.

I own a townhouse I bought before I met him, and I make the payments on it. People often ask us why I don't sell it. I usually give some excuse, but the real reason is, when he drafted his will, he left everything to his mother -- at her insistence.

He seems to think it's too much trouble and expensive to change his will to include me. I want to be sure I have a place to live, so I have kept my townhouse.

Needless to say, our views on this situation differ. What's your opinion?-- HEDGING MY BETS IN TEXAS

DEAR HEDGING: I think you are behaving rationally, because it should be quite clear that your boyfriend wants his assets to go to his mother -- not you -- in the event of his death. I hope you have your townhouse rented and are saving the income, because you may need the money later. That way, if your boyfriend suddenly keels over or the romance sours, you won't be left with nothing but memories.

DEAR ABBY: My niece confided in me that she and her fiance eloped. Her parents are planning her wedding for next month. I tried to advise her to tell her parents, but she still hasn't. She's living at home and her "fiance" lives in a different city.

I don't pretend to understand why they felt like doing this. Should I just sit back while she continues to lie to her parents while they plan on her getting "married" in a month? I'm at a loss.

I wanted to give her a chance to come clean, but because she hasn't, do I intervene? Do I threaten that if she doesn't fess up, I'll spill the beans? Or should I just let her keep heading down the road she's on?-- ANXIOUS AUNT

DEAR ANXIOUS: What do you think you will accomplish by breaking your niece's confidence? If you divulge what she told you, she will never trust you again. I'll give you my advice in four words: Keep your mouth shut.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#2 May 10, 2014
1 Oh sure! Because it's a woman, she's insecure and has mood swings. But if it was a guy, he would be controlling and bipolar.

2 Just steal the will.

3 Oh yeah, tell. Tell everybody a month before the wedding. Everyone will remember you alright.
boundary painter

Waco, TX

#3 May 10, 2014
LW1 and Bailey are still young. Concentrating on their friendship skills (or need to develop them) is what matters most.

LW2 needs to stop giving our state a bad name. If she wants that town house for herself, what is it to those nosy people that she wants the
town house--away from her boyfriend's mother?

LW3 got the right answer: Be like Sgt Schultz (from "Hogan's Heroes") and "see and hear nothing".

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#4 May 10, 2014
1. Too much drama.

2. Prudent planning. If he marries you you get at least half regardless of the will Maybe more if TX is a community property state.

L3 Niece is pregnant and wants to be able to say down the road, that she was married before she got pregnant.

Or, the big wedding is the parents idea,not the B&G's
boundary painter

Waco, TX

#5 May 10, 2014
PEllen wrote:
2. Prudent planning. If he marries you you get at least half regardless of the will Maybe more if TX is a community property state.
It is.( LW2 is just giving our state a bad name by broadcasting what's nobody else's business.)

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#6 May 10, 2014
1- You're 16 and been in a relationship for six months. This is something you learn to figure out as you go. Be a jerk. Have sex with her mom. Make HER dump YOU

2- You're in your 40s and been living together for several years. Why aren't you married by now? And I can't blame him for leaving everything to his mother, you're not married!(my sole beneficiary is my sister.) Can't blame you for wanting to hedge your bets and think Abby's advice is pretty sound, but quit expecting him to change his will.

3- Keep your yap shut. I actually knew a couple who secretly married then had the "wedding" later. In their case, they were religious and didn't feel right about living together before marriage. In this case, there could be a number of reasons, Pelly listed a couple, but none are any of your business, so stay out of it
blunt advice

Livingston, NJ

#7 May 10, 2014
1. Break up. She will hate your guts but will eventually find another guy and forgive you.
2. What should you tell them? Mine your own frigging business. That's what to tell them. Although I give you credit for being smart enough to hold onto your assets
3. Don't say anything. Maybe it was for insurance reasons or other benefits that they secretly legally wed. Not your business.

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