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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 Apr 2, 2013
DEAR ABBY: My hair falls nearly to my waist, and I go to great lengths to maintain it and keep it free of split ends.

Many of my friends, both male and female, have grown out their hair over the years and donated it to cancer charities. While I think it's a beautiful act of selflessness, I have never felt the calling to donate my hair.

I have recently been criticized for wanting to keep my long hair for myself and have been called selfish and a hypocrite. Abby, cancer runs in my family. I donate money and volunteer for my local Relay for Life every year. When I explain this to my "attackers" -- some of them good friends -- they look the other way and say I'm "horrible" because I won't cut my hair and give it to those in need.

I cut my hair very short 10 years ago and regretted it. Now I'm feeling pressured to do it again. How do I get my message across to these people without sounding defensive or snobby?-- RAPUNZEL IN MICHIGAN

DEAR RAPUNZEL: I think I detect a twinge of jealousy in the "good friends" who imply you are being selfish or hypocritical for not donating your lovely locks. It would be neither defensive nor snobby to smile and reply: "We all must decide for ourselves how we will support the charities that are important to us. I have chosen to donate in other ways."

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend, "Keoni," for five years. We have a healthy relationship. However, when we go out to the grocery store, the doctor's office or the mall, women constantly question his ethnicity, which is Hawaiian. Then, without fail, they'll proceed to tell him (and me) how handsome, beautiful or gorgeous he is.

Keoni does nothing to make me feel less than pretty myself, but these frequent comments from strangers have started to make me feel insecure about my own appearance. How do I accept these compliments without resentment?-- KEONI'S GIRLFRIEND IN FLORIDA

DEAR GIRLFRIEND: What may be upsetting you is that these women ask your boyfriend inappropriate questions and appear to be coming on to him. Face it, your boyfriend is exotic. If you were in Hawaii, he wouldn't be exotic -- you might be. The next time this happens and someone raves about his good looks, remember that Keoni's with you, not her. But if she's pushy, "suggest" she move to Hawaii and get "lei-ed."

DEAR ABBY: Are hugs the new handshake? I am encountering more and more people who, instead of shaking hands when they see you (or say goodbye), want to hug. I understand it if you are close friends, but frequently it's a business acquaintance.

The two most recent examples were when I went to meet with my mother's minister to arrange her funeral. I had never met the man, but he wanted to hug upon meeting me. Yesterday, I saw a new eye doctor for the first time. As I was leaving, I put out my hand to shake his. He said, "Oh, I like to hug!" When I stepped back and told him, "I'm not a huggy person," he seemed offended. Any suggestions?-- STANDOFFISH SUE

DEAR SUE: The minister may have thought that having just lost your mother, you could have used the hug. Many people welcome that kind of comfort. Personally, I agree that the eye doctor's behavior was presumptuous. If you continue to patronize him, my recommendation is to stand out of reach.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Lawrence, MA

#2 Apr 2, 2013
1- Your hair is your own dam business. Sheesh, where do these people come from?

2- Oh the horror! People are telling your boyfriend how handsome he is! The humanity of it all!

3- I hate these people. Sorry your mommy and daddy didn't hug you enough as a kid, but jebus crow, get the fk over it!

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#3 Apr 2, 2013
1 Sounds like you need new friends.

2 lame lei joke

3 Minister ok, eye doc? NFW!

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#4 Apr 2, 2013
LW1: Tell these self righteous assholes that you will give to charity in your own way and not the way they decide for you. None of their f'n business.

LW2: I don't for a second believe you are getting a barrage of random strangers drooling over your bf.

LW3: Do you have big boobs?

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#5 Apr 2, 2013
L1: "Hypocrite"? Maybe if you had had cancer and lost your hair and used a human hair wig, MAYBE that would make you a hypocrite, but no, you're not a hypocrite. But you do have assholes for friends.

L2: People are weird.(I love Hawaiian men.)

But it reminds me of Ted saying something to Robin on "How I met Your Mother" after she complained about getting some unwanted male attention at a bar: "Boys tell me I'm pretty and want to buy me drinks and have sex with me. Wah."

L3: Ha! AS if these people would get to hug me. No effing way.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#6 Apr 2, 2013
L1: You need new friends.

L2: The lei joke reminds me of St. Patrick's Day. Bear with me. We were in Vegas and my (female) boss had given me a shamrock lei to wear in the spirit of the holiday. As I was walking around the strip that day, a random guy said to me "looks like you got lei'd" and I said back to him "yep, by a woman!" He back-pedaled a little, realizing that his comment could have been construed as creepy, but I took it with the humor it was intended. Just a funny moment.

L3: I don't mind hugs, but I don't want them from people like my doctors. I do hug business acquaintances with whom I'm also friendly, but if I'm paying you to fill my cavities or check the internal plumbing, there's really no reason for us to hug.
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#7 Apr 2, 2013
LW1: It's none of their business. You are not selfish because you don't want to give up part of your physical person.

LW2: I'd like a Hawaiin bf.

LW3: I have a hot eye doctor - wouldn't mind him hugging me!!!

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#8 Apr 2, 2013
Why you little vamp!
Stina wrote:
LW1: It's none of their business. You are not selfish because you don't want to give up part of your physical person.
LW2: I'd like a Hawaiin bf.
LW3: I have a hot eye doctor - wouldn't mind him hugging me!!!

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Lawrence, MA

#9 Apr 2, 2013
j_m_w wrote:
L2: The lei joke reminds me of St. Patrick's Day. Bear with me. We were in Vegas and my (female) boss had given me a shamrock lei to wear in the spirit of the holiday. As I was walking around the strip that day, a random guy said to me "looks like you got lei'd" and I said back to him "yep, by a woman!" He back-pedaled a little, realizing that his comment could have been construed as creepy, but I took it with the humor it was intended. Just a funny moment.
That still seems a little creepy for a stranger to say to a woman. And how do you know he was talking about the lei? Maybe you just had that "look?"

Oh, and I just noticed something ironic! I'm actually wearing a shirt from Hawaii today!

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#10 Apr 2, 2013
Your shirt went to hawaii and it did not take you?
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
That still seems a little creepy for a stranger to say to a woman. And how do you know he was talking about the lei? Maybe you just had that "look?"
Oh, and I just noticed something ironic! I'm actually wearing a shirt from Hawaii today!

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#11 Apr 2, 2013
LW1: Wow, your friends sound like a-holes. Maybe it's them you should cut off.

LW2: Boo hoo.

LW3: What RACE said.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Lawrence, MA

#12 Apr 2, 2013
RACE wrote:
Your shirt went to hawaii and it did not take you?
<quoted text>
It's FROM Hawaii. It migrated here illegally and took up residence in my dresser. Now it's sapping up all the resources my legal shirts need.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#13 Apr 2, 2013
L1: Photoshop a pic of yourself to make you bald and put it on your FB page. Tell them you grew it back. I agree, her friends are super big a-holes.

L2: You can't control other people. After 5 years you'd think you would have learned how to deal with this.

L3: I'm with jamwow. None of my doctors or professional people I see are someone I would want to hug. I need to get better looking docs. I have a female doctor and love her -- not in that way though. My dentist is an old scraggy guy but a great dentist. I would NOT want go hug him.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#14 Apr 2, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
That still seems a little creepy for a stranger to say to a woman. And how do you know he was talking about the lei? Maybe you just had that "look?"
Oh, and I just noticed something ironic! I'm actually wearing a shirt from Hawaii today!
I think as soon as he said it, he realized it was kinda creepy. But I didn't take it that way. And as far as that "look," it would have been totally inaccurate, so... <mimishrug>.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Nashville, TN

#15 Apr 2, 2013
1. First, calling yourself Rapunzel is stupid. Second, you sound waaaay into your hair. Yeah, I want mine to look nice, but you sound like you are making yours your identity, so for that reason alone I'd side with your friends, but 'd also agree they should shut up and let you be a twit if you want.

2. Oh no, you're dating an attractive guy, how awful. A compliment to him is indirectly a compliment to you, so shut up and appreciate it and be glad for what you have.

3. Minister I get. Doc I don't. If someone is not hug-approprate I have no problem telling them.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#16 Apr 2, 2013
Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
2. Oh no, you're dating an attractive guy, how awful. A compliment to him is indirectly a compliment to you, so shut up and appreciate it and be glad for what you have.
.
I've gotten comments on Nick from obnoxious coworkers (including my boss). Completely said with the attitude, "how did YOU get such a hottie like HIM?"

Gotta love judgment from women with dried up vadges.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#17 Apr 2, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
I've gotten comments on Nick from obnoxious coworkers (including my boss). Completely said with the attitude, "how did YOU get such a hottie like HIM?"
Gotta love judgment from women with dried up vadges.
So how DID you?

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#18 Apr 2, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>So how DID you?
He has low self esteem.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#19 Apr 2, 2013
Heh I once asked a friend why she and live-in boyfriend weren't married. "I keep waiting for something better to come along," she replied.(they're happily married with a kid now.)

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Nashville, TN

#20 Apr 2, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
I've gotten comments on Nick from obnoxious coworkers (including my boss). Completely said with the attitude, "how did YOU get such a hottie like HIM?"
Gotta love judgment from women with dried up vadges.
Jealously is not something people wear well. I am sure Nick gets the same thing.

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