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1 - 4 of 4 Comments Last updated Jul 20, 2013

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#1
Jul 20, 2013
 

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DEAR ABBY: My family has had our dog "Pouncer" for 10 years. He was originally bought to be a "family" dog, but I am the one who feeds and takes care of him. Because of that he sleeps with me and licks and obeys only me.

When I say Pouncer is my dog, the rest of my family chews me out and insists he is the family's dog, not mine. Don't you think I have the right to call him my dog?-- WILLIE IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR WILLIE: I think this is less a question about ownership than it is about tact. Because you are the one who feeds and takes care of Pouncer, and he sleeps with you and obeys only you -- in that sense, he is your dog. But unless you are the only one paying for his food and veterinary bills and the roof over his head, Pouncer is also the family's dog. Remember that and you'll get chewed out less often.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married more than 20 years. Her best friend from childhood, "Jill," and her husband, "Jack," are two of our closest friends.

On a recent visit to their home in another state, Jack made a pass at my wife. He said he'd always had a crush on her and asked her to go to our hotel room and have sex while the rest of us were at an amusement park. She refused.

We cut our vacation short and left for home immediately. She told me about it after we got home, concerned that if she said anything while we were there, a confrontation would have ensued. To date, Jill knows nothing about what occurred.

My wife asked me not to say anything until she decides what to do. She's concerned that if she tells Jill, the friendship will be over. On the other hand, if nothing is said, she will be hiding a guilty secret from Jill, which will probably damage the friendship.

Should my wife tell her friend? Should I call Jack and confront him one-on-one? Or should we do nothing?-- UPSET HUSBAND IN NEW YORK

DEAR UPSET HUSBAND: The friendship has already been damaged thanks to the husband's inappropriate behavior. What you and your wife must now decide is whether he has caused a permanent estrangement.

If you both agree you can look beyond his boorish lapse in light of the length of the long friendship, then by all means call Jack and tell him how you feel about what he did. And when you do, make it plain that if it happens again, you and your wife will discuss it with Jill together.

DEAR ABBY: My sisters and brothers and I don't speak and haven't in five years. When I pass, I have a list of people who will be welcome at my services. If someone's name is not on the list, they will be asked to leave. I want my children and some of my grandchildren there, but no one else. Do you think I am wrong?-- TROUBLED IN TEXAS

DEAR TROUBLED: No, I don't. Your wishes are your wishes. However, it is sad when families feud and, at the end, things that should be said are left unspoken.

One would hope that anyone who comes to your funeral would be there to support your children and grandchildren, or to pay last respects. I think it would be rude to ask someone who came to leave. A better way to handle it would be to specify in the funeral announcement that services will be for "your children only" and for further information people should contact a person you designate to carry out your wishes.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#2
Jul 20, 2013
 

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1- Now I'm craving hot dogs.

2- Will you get over it!? I ask my married friends to sleep with me all the time. In front of their husbands, even. Hey, Mattie...!

3- Chances are your siblings aren't even gonna to want to go to your funeral. But seriously, dude, what the fk difference does it make?
boundary painter

San Antonio, TX

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#3
Jul 20, 2013
 

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Jack is giving New York a bad name. His wife
probably already knows she cannot trust him unless
she is deliberately ignoring the fact that he is away from her, showing inappropriate attention to
other women. Jack deserves to be on LW2's "garbage list" and avoided by LW2 and wife.

LW3 is giving Texas a bad name.(It's not as if LW3 can enforce this "wish list" by jumping out of the casket, pointing a finger at the uninvited sibling attending the funeral and snarling, "I don't want you here!!") LW3's sons and daughters can insist that family, friends, and enemies behave themselves when they have a funeral.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#4
Jul 20, 2013
 

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L1 Why does everyone have so much invested in an adjective- my vs our? A little bit of emotional oneupsmanship? How about just "the dog".

L2 I wonder what Jill thought when LW abruptly stopped the vacation early and what Jack may have said to Jill.

I wonder if Jack meant it as a joke, although I will give LW's wife the benefit of the doubt on this. One doesn't freak out if there is any hint of a joke.

Alcohol? Aging and personality or behavioral changes?

If confronted, Jack will deny it or claim it was misconstrued. LW says these are soem of "their" best friends but it is his wife's friend from childhood. I suggest not visiting as a couple but encouraging the women to visit/vacation at some neutral territory alone. Girl stuff is an excellent excuse.

In any event, it sounds like LW would either glower, hover over his wife or punch Jack the next time he sees him , so couples visiting isn't best .

L3. Make sure your kids are on board with your plans and if so, in the death notice put Services have been held.(My SIL's mother did that when her dad died and they didn't want Dad's "special friend" at the funeral. Worked fine)

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