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1 - 19 of 19 Comments Last updated Dec 11, 2013

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#1
Dec 11, 2013
 
DEAR ABBY: I'm considering marrying a man who is divorced. We get along great, and I love and trust him.

Is it ever appropriate to call the ex and discuss her side of the story? Or should I ask my boyfriend what she'd say if I were to contact her?-- COVERING MY BASES IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR COVERING YOUR BASES: If you call the ex, you can count on hearing something negative about your boyfriend or they wouldn't be exes. Also, the things the ex might consider to be flaws may be the qualities you love best about him.

That you would say you love and trust your boyfriend, and in the next sentence indicate you're considering a chat with his former wife, makes me wonder how deep your level of trust is. However, if your gut tells you to do some digging, then you should listen to it -- even if it results in an argument, which it probably will.

DEAR ABBY: I'm proud of my daughter, "Celia." She has a master's degree, a successful career and is soon to be married to a wonderful man.

Through three moves my wife and I have cared for our daughter's one-ton-plus of "stuff," which includes the big dollhouse her grandpa built, her doll collection, high school and college memorabilia, her diaries, dishes for her future home, etc. When she visited, I'd ask her to sort through the boxes and throw some things out. Didn't happen.

My wife and I have downsized to a condo. The room that was supposed to be my "man cave" is half-filled with Celia's things. It is TIME!

Should I request that our daughter pay for storage, or rent a U-Haul so I can deliver a one-ton-plus "wedding gift"?-- DISGRUNTLED DAD IN WASHINGTON STATE

DEAR DAD: I can think of few things that would destroy the ambiance of a man cave more than a dollhouse. With a successful career, your daughter can afford to pay for a storage unit for her memorabilia. Set a date by which it must be out of your condo, with the understanding that if it isn't, you will dispose of it. You should not have to deliver it to her. You have been patient long enough, and the responsibility is hers.

DEAR ABBY: I am a longtime practicing Pagan. Because of the media, Pagans are considered to be evil devil-worshippers instead of the nature-loving people with knowledge of home remedies we are. This makes it difficult in the dating world.

A friend of mine wants to hook me up with a friend of his. When is it appropriate to tell the gentleman that I'm a practicing Pagan? I dress like everyone else, so at first glance you wouldn't suspect my religion isn't Christian.-- LOVER OF NATURE

DEAR LOVER OF NATURE: Nothing compels you and a stranger to get into a discussion about religious beliefs on a first date, but you should mention it when the opportunity arises. If the man seems to be put off by it, suggest he consult patheos dot com, an online library on the subject of religions, in which there is a section describing Paganism, its practices and origins. It should make for a stimulating discussion.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#2
Dec 11, 2013
 
2- "With a successful career, your daughter can afford to pay for a storage unit for her memorabilia."

Not necessarily. Lots of people with a "successful career" struggle to pay the bills they already have. Way to presume.

She can stash that sht in her own house.

Since: Mar 09

Pittsburgh, PA

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#3
Dec 11, 2013
 
Ha ha, when my mom moved to assisted living 10 years ago,my brother bought the house from her. Now we NEVER have to move our "stuff!"

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#4
Dec 11, 2013
 
1 This is not the droid your looking for, you sound too immature, I bet your in your early 20's and he is 30+

2 Yep, tell her that crap has gotta go. Its her stuff and her responsibility.

3 I am sure he will suspect something when you stake his nakedass to a pentagram.

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#5
Dec 11, 2013
 
LW1: Not cool. If you donít know him well enough on your own to form a solid judgment about the type of person he is and whether he is the type of person you wish to marry, there is no need to get married and you should hold off, rather than contact his ex and ask her to form an opinion of him for you, which almost by definition isn't going to be favorable.

LW2:ďIt is TIME,Ē lmao. She probably has a lot going on with planning a wedding and whatnot, right now. So, wait until after she is married and settled in for a bit with her husband Ö then tell her she can pay for storage, take her stuff, or it will be donated or pitched and most importantly, give her a deadline.

LW3: I donít consider religion or lack thereof to be particularly important one way or the other. Unless you live at your place of worship or it is a huge part of your everyday life, I donít think thatís something you have to get into early on, but that's just me.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#6
Dec 11, 2013
 
Lw1: Why stop with the ex-wife? Why not track down all his ex-girlfriends and grill each of them as to why the relationship failed. Also, provide him with a listong of contact information for all your ex's so he can do the same.

Lw2: what abby said. Now that you downsized and don't have the space, tell het to get her stuff.

Lw3: The media? I don't see any articles even mentioning pagans much less demonizing them. How bout this. Just tell him you're s hippie as you share some home made granola

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

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#7
Dec 11, 2013
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
Lw3: The media? I don't see any articles even mentioning pagans much less demonizing them. How bout this. Just tell him you're s hippie as you share some home made granola
Yeah, some people just love to play the victim. Can't tell you the last time I even heard paganism mentioned in any media outlet. The fact she thinks it's been "demonized" is probably what turned her onto it in the first place. She's nothing more than a rebellious hippie. She claims to love nature so much, but has no objections to eating plants.

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

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#8
Dec 11, 2013
 
L1: "Is it ever appropriate to call the ex and discuss her side of the story?" No. Who would DO this? What do you expect to hear? Geez, don't go looking for drama.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#9
Dec 11, 2013
 
LW1: Are you nuts? You'd have to be to consider doing this and still think you could have a decent relationship with this dude after he found out.'Cause you know she'll call him, right?

LW2: I think waiting until after the wedding would be a nice thing to do.

LW3: Why don't you worry about this after you see if you even LIKE the guy.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

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#10
Dec 11, 2013
 
LW1: No, do NOT do this. Either take the leap of faith based on what you know or don't.

LW2: Put the stuff in storage now, pay for it for one month, and give her the key.

LW3: Team squishymama. Don't worry about this until you actually meet the guy. I don't think I'd mention religion on the first few dates. If the guy is a devout churchgoer, he'll let you know. Otherwise, it is not likely to matter.
NicoleK

Villeneuve, Switzerland

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#11
Dec 11, 2013
 
Sublime1 wrote:
Unless you live at your place of worship or it is a huge part of your everyday life, I donít think thatís something you have to get into early on, but that's just me.
She's Pagan, doesn't specify what kind but odds are her home IS her place of worship
NicoleK

Villeneuve, Switzerland

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#12
Dec 11, 2013
 
In my experience the media is more likely to portray you as a goofy flake than evil, but hey, Witchvox links to the news articles so you can judge for yourself.

Honestly, it depends on where you live I guess. I never found it to be an issue when I was in the dating scene but I was in MA, so...

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#13
Dec 11, 2013
 
NicoleK wrote:
<quoted text>
She's Pagan, doesn't specify what kind but odds are her home IS her place of worship
I agree. That's why I specifically said "or a huge part of your life" ... meaning the type of folks who is not a casual practitioner or a once a week worshiper, e.g. the pagan equivalent to a really serious Christians are attending mass multiple days a week or involved in church groups more than just on Sunday.

I would kind of want to know pretty early on if I'm dating someone whose religion is going to consume that much of their time ... if not, then it's not a big deal and not something that needs to be mentioned early on, IMO.

:)

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#14
Dec 11, 2013
 
peganmatch.com
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
I agree. That's why I specifically said "or a huge part of your life" ... meaning the type of folks who is not a casual practitioner or a once a week worshiper, e.g. the pagan equivalent to a really serious Christians are attending mass multiple days a week or involved in church groups more than just on Sunday.
I would kind of want to know pretty early on if I'm dating someone whose religion is going to consume that much of their time ... if not, then it's not a big deal and not something that needs to be mentioned early on, IMO.
:)

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#15
Dec 11, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
peganmatch.com
<quoted text>
Hahahahaha!

Not quite.

I couldn't resist looking.

https://www.facebook.com/pagandating

It's a real site.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#16
Dec 11, 2013
 
See, there is someone for everyone!
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
Hahahahaha!
Not quite.
I couldn't resist looking.
https://www.facebook.com/pagandating
It's a real site.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#17
Dec 11, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
See, there is someone for everyone!
<quoted text>
Yes. Yes there is.

http://www.beerpassions.com/

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#18
Dec 11, 2013
 
RACE wrote:
See, there is someone for everyone!
Where's my tranny, biracial, narcoleptic midget?!

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#19
Dec 11, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Where's my tranny, biracial, narcoleptic midget?!
Maybe you can find something here:

http://mixedfolks.com/links.htm

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