Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#21 Oct 11, 2012
PEllen wrote:
Does anyone have a question about why LW1 call her husband My man as opposed to My husband?. I read that as a cultural thing that carries connotations about lack of exclusivity.
Am I being too much of a middle aged white lady in my bias here?
I noticed that as well and thought it was a bit odd. I think most women would say "I've been wiht my husband for three years, just recently married."

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#22 Oct 11, 2012
PEllen wrote:
Does anyone have a question about why LW1 call her husband My man as opposed to My husband?. I read that as a cultural thing that carries connotations about lack of exclusivity.
Am I being too much of a middle aged white lady in my bias here?
I read that as she does not like the term boyfriend and, not uncommonly, referred to him as her man when dating. Then after getting married, she's not quite used to saying husband, but still says "my man" out of habit/familiarity.

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Schaumburg, IL

#23 Oct 11, 2012
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text> Vatican II and teh Cuban Missile Crisis are both 50 this year. The Church pulled back from a lot of teh Vatican II reforms
my 70 YO aunt actually changes parishes because the priest at her old church was really pushing to bring back a Latin mass.

Since: Nov 10

Danielson, CT

#24 Oct 11, 2012
L3- I remember the original letter, but not the Mormon part.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#25 Oct 11, 2012
Renee J wrote:
L3- I remember the original letter, but not the Mormon part.
I vaguely remember it. It had nothing to do with the letter, just that the LW knew the woman who chastized her daughter was Mormon.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#26 Oct 11, 2012
Original letter:

Dear Amy: My 26-year old daughter waitresses in an upscale eatery in a liberal college town. She has numerous tattoos visible on her arms and legs, which get a lot of attention. I don’t like tattoos, but she is my child, and I love her regardless.

A coworker’s mom, who is Mormon and visiting from out of state, sat in my daughter’s section and proceeded to tell her that she was disgusting. She said she could not believe my daughter was allowed to work there, told her not to spit in her food and said that she is going to hell.

I am seething. My religious beliefs teach love and acceptance to all, and I firmly believe that I should not judge others. My daughter treated the offender with kindness, but she was stunned by this spewing. What a perfect way to turn others against religion!

Was there a tactful response my daughter could have given to make the offender realize her behavior was wrong?– Sad Mom .

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#27 Oct 11, 2012
Amy's original response:

DEAR SAD: This isn’t about religion, but about rudeness. Your daughter’s job at the restaurant is to serve food, but this does not mean she is required to tolerate hateful comments or educate customers about how to behave. It seems to me that treating someone with kindness, even if that person is unkind, serves many purposes. It defuses the situation and also provides a model for appropriate behavior.

In the moment, your daughter might have said,“You might prefer a different table. Would you like to speak with the manager?” The goal should be to provide professional service, and turn the table over quickly and peacefully.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#28 Oct 11, 2012
I was in line getting lunch behind a guy with a neck tattoo. He had short sleeves and no visible tattoos on his arms. I judged him because, I mean, no lower arm tattoos, you just jumped to the neck? I thought arm tats were like a gateway to neck and face tats. It's like never trying any drug and going straight to heroin. It just doesn't seem logical.

“I'm freezing.”

Since: May 11

Honolulu, HI.

#29 Oct 11, 2012
L1 - They'll probably be heading for divorce court soon.

L2 - Be tactful.

L3 - Should have disregarded the religous part and just stuck with the rudeness.
pde

Homer Glen, IL

#30 Oct 11, 2012
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
I think being nice to other people and following the golden rule is pretty fundamental to all of Christianity. I don't know too many folks who would say they don't believe in that. You have a point, but it's usually not in relation to something so basic.
My experience says that people can come up with a lot of religious reasons to put limits on the types of people that the golden rule should apply to.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#31 Oct 11, 2012
Matilda77 wrote:
I was in line getting lunch behind a guy with a neck tattoo. He had short sleeves and no visible tattoos on his arms. I judged him because, I mean, no lower arm tattoos, you just jumped to the neck? I thought arm tats were like a gateway to neck and face tats. It's like never trying any drug and going straight to heroin. It just doesn't seem logical.
Girl in my office has one on the back of her neck. Can only see it if her hair is up. Only visible tat she has

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#32 Oct 11, 2012
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
THere was an outdoor wedding ceremony on the SImpsons. Weather played havoc. Rev. Lovejoy said, "This wouldn't be happening if they got married in the church instead of outdoors in the showiness of nature."
Heh

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Brooklyn, NY

#33 Oct 11, 2012
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
My experience says that people can come up with a lot of religious reasons to put limits on the types of people that the golden rule should apply to.
That would explain your bitterness.
pde

Homer Glen, IL

#34 Oct 11, 2012
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
That would explain your bitterness.
Ah. So you agree with people saying that the golden rule shouldn't apply to this or that group of people because religion says $y?

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#35 Oct 11, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Girl in my office has one on the back of her neck. Can only see it if her hair is up. Only visible tat she has
Maybe it's just me, but I see the back-of-the-neck tat in a different light than I do the side-of-the-neck tat.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Brooklyn, NY

#36 Oct 11, 2012
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
Ah. So you agree with people saying that the golden rule shouldn't apply to this or that group of people because religion says $y?
Actually, I have no idea what you're taking about. Can you provide any examples?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#37 Oct 11, 2012
j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>
Maybe it's just me, but I see the back-of-the-neck tat in a different light than I do the side-of-the-neck tat.
I agree. She did not specify where on the neck the tattoo was. Said she was behind him in line, so back of the neck is what I assumed

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#38 Oct 11, 2012
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Actually, I have no idea what you're taking about. Can you provide any examples?
Interesting, cause I had no idea what you were talking about when you said that she was bitter. Can you provide examples?

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#39 Oct 11, 2012
j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>
Maybe it's just me, but I see the back-of-the-neck tat in a different light than I do the side-of-the-neck tat.
Yeah, same. I kinda put the just-under-the-hairline neck tats in the same category as a foot tat. Can see it, but can cover it up fairly easily. This guy had a side neck tat. Big, lots of color, etc. Not really playing that one off unless turtlenecks come back in a big way.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#40 Oct 11, 2012
He was just taking a cheap shot is all...
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Interesting, cause I had no idea what you were talking about when you said that she was bitter. Can you provide examples?

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