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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Mar 27, 2014
DEAR ABBY: I'm 62 and own my own home. I have legal guardianship of my eldest grandson, who is 5. Another grandchild is 2 1/2 and in foster care. I would like to keep both children together because I have been told that in the long run it is better so they won't lose contact with each other.

Some friends of mine have been telling me I should let the little one get adopted through the state in a closed adoption. This is really traumatic for me and I'm not sure what to do.

Please give me some advice. I love both of my grandchildren and want the best for them, now and in the long term.-- QUANDRIFIED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR QUANDRIFIED: Many grandparents raise their grandchildren successfully. If your health is good, and you have a high energy level and relatives who can provide respite when you need it, have both of your grandchildren live with you. If not, you must consider what could happen to them if something should happen to you.

AARP can be a helpful resource. It offers information on a wide variety of issues related to raising grandchildren, financial assistance and advocacy.

DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced for about 10 years and have dated far more since my divorce than I did before I married. The marriage ended because my wife was emotionally abusive.

What disturbs me is that somehow I either attract, or am attracted to, emotionally abusive women. They are usually successful, confident, good looking and controlling, and the results are always the same. The relationships don't last long. How do I stop being attracted to the same type of partner?-- REPEATING PATTERNS

DEAR REPEATING: In order to break any cycle, a person needs to understand how the pattern became established in the first place. People are usually attracted to the familiar, and it may have something to do with the dynamics of the family in which you grew up. Ask your doctor for a referral to a psychologist who can help you to understand, so you won't make the same mistake again. It's the quickest fix for what ails you.

DEAR ABBY: I take pride in my looks, and when I go to parties, the dresses and accessories I choose. I am often asked where they came from, and I feel the question is rude and inappropriate. Am I being rude to evade the question, or is there a proper response when I'm asked?-- TIME AND PLACE

DEAR TIME AND PLACE: When someone asks where you found an item you're wearing, it is usually intended as a compliment because the person would like to find something similar. If you prefer not to share that information, smile and thank the person for the compliment, then change the subject.

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#2 Mar 27, 2014
LW1- why is this even a question? If you are healthy and have the means, keep the boys together. If it was an open adoption, I would probably have given a different answer, but you have to deal with the facts.

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#3 Mar 27, 2014
LW3- even celebrities give the name of the designers they wear. There is no reason to get offended when people are just trying to give you a compliment and make conversation, but there is nothing wrong with saying that fashion is a passion of yours and you are always looking for new places to discover treasures. Be evasive, but pleasant.

And get over yourself.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#4 Mar 27, 2014
1 Tell your friends to STFU and MYOB.

2 This is easy,just date ugly, homeless meth heads. You'll be married in a year.

3 Oh Jeez, Get over yourself. Believe it or not, someday you will be 60 and yearn the the attention.

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#5 Mar 27, 2014
L1. Your friends have no interest in doing what is best for those kids.

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#6 Mar 27, 2014
L1. I'm just sayin' there may be unexpected dividends to be reaped by keeping those kids with you.
Who knows, that two year old could be the one taking care of you in your old age.

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

#7 Mar 27, 2014
L1: An age gap of only 2.5 years between the kids probably means that if you're spry enough to take care of the older one, you're spry enough to take care of the younger one. Are you sure you're not just looking for permission to adopt out the younger one?

L2: You know the definition of insanity, right?

L3: Oh, it's SO HARD being you, isn't it? Gag.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#8 Mar 27, 2014
LW1: Listen to your heart and keep these kids together.

LW2: Get yourself to a therapist and find out why your radar is busted. And in the meantime, stop dating!

LW3: <eyeroll> I'm going to second S&O's "get over yourself."

I had a lady the other day ask me if my $25 ankle pants from Old Navy were Gloria Vanderbilt's. I almost laughed in her face and told her the truth.

“An Apple a day”

Since: Jun 08

nil carborundum illegitemi

#9 Mar 27, 2014
1. You had to ask an advice columnist whether or not to keep your grandchildren. Grow a backbone. You'll need it when they become teenagers.

2. You probably have ADD.

3. Wow, you are just so special.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#10 Mar 27, 2014
L1: Make sure you know who should have guardianship if anything ever happens to you. Of course, every parent should do that. I'm wondering why the LW is having a poll about what she should do about her grandchildren. Do you YOU think is best.

L2: Go see someone. You are either picking out those types or you are too wimpy and they feel like they have to take control. Either way, get help.

L3: Aren't you so special? No. You're not "special". Are you afraid that those people are going to look better than you in those items?

Since: Oct 09

York, NE

#11 Mar 27, 2014
RACE wrote:
1 Tell your friends to STFU and MYOB.
2 This is easy,just date ugly, homeless meth heads. You'll be married in a year.
3 Oh Jeez, Get over yourself. Believe it or not, someday you will be 60 and yearn the the attention.
Or, he could just check out the "s e x in Chicago" thread right here on topix. Hubby and I did that for the you-know-what (I hate these filters they have here that require us to sound like teenagers talking in code when the parents are around) of it when we were in Chicago for a family wedding last spring and I was reading Amby on here. Neither one of us is any kind of a naive prude, but holy geez........made us glad we were out of the field and that we didn't have to be the monitor!

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#12 Mar 27, 2014
Judge Janie wrote:
<quoted text>
Or, he could just check out the "s e x in Chicago" thread right here on topix. Hubby and I did that for the you-know-what
You're swingers?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#13 Mar 27, 2014
Toj wrote:
L3: Aren't you so special? No. You're not "special". Are you afraid that those people are going to look better than you in those items?
she probably wants people to think she got her stuff on Rodeo Drive and does not want to fess up that its from the flea market
boundary painter

San Antonio, TX

#14 Mar 27, 2014
Glance into the future;

Proud LW3 fell on her rear in the mud when:
(a) she overheard two of her so-called friends laughing about her by
he powder room mirror.
(b) a truthful, na´ve acquaintance said her Salvation Army outfit looked
really nice and affordable.
(c) people conveniently "forgot" to invite her to one party after another
or
(d) other.

“No. 1 Stunna”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#15 Mar 27, 2014
LW1: I don't think you need an advice columnist to tell you that you adopt the kids if you can do so.

LW2: nip in the bud at the outset and don't let it become a pattern in your relationships. It's okay to establish boundaries and push back sometimes, instead of being a whiny puss about it.

Lw3: your costume jewelry is obviously so wicked hardcore awesome that people just CAN't temper their enthusiasm and curiosity

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#16 Mar 27, 2014
boundary painter wrote:
Glance into the future;
Proud LW3 fell on her rear in the mud when:
(a) she overheard two of her so-called friends laughing about her by
he powder room mirror.
(b) a truthful, na´ve acquaintance said her Salvation Army outfit looked
really nice and affordable.
(c) people conveniently "forgot" to invite her to one party after another
or
(d) other.
(d) Other. She fell on her rear in the mud after tripping over her own two feet b/c of her cheap CFM shoes. The fake leather peeled away, snagged the other heel and down she went. Everyone got a look at her Sesame Street underwear. Blue with the Cookie Monster all over 'em, I think.

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#17 Mar 27, 2014
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>(d) Other. She fell on her rear in the mud after tripping over her own two feet b/c of her cheap CFM shoes. The fake leather peeled away, snagged the other heel and down she went. Everyone got a look at her Sesame Street underwear. Blue with the Cookie Monster all over 'em, I think.
I just spit my Mountain Dew all over my iPad! Too funny!
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#18 Mar 27, 2014
LW1: Team Race.

LW2: Fake letter.

LW3: If you find the question intrusive, you can make a joke out of it: "I'm wearing Dior with accessories by Tiffany!" Or you can evade the question by saying as you recall, it was a cute little boutique in Carmel. But I don't understand why you would have a problem telling them the straight truth if you remember where you purchased your outfit and accessories.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#19 Mar 27, 2014
ScarletandOlive wrote:
<quoted text>
I just spit my Mountain Dew all over my iPad! Too funny!
D: Just put this on your iPad, doubleclick and you'll be set.

Tonka -- Pug alert.

“Checks and Balances”

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#20 Mar 27, 2014
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>D: Just put this on your iPad, doubleclick and you'll be set.

Tonka -- Pug alert.
? Was there supposed to be a link?

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