“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 May 17, 2014
DEAR ABBY: I was invited to my first prom yesterday. The boy is a senior and the son of a friend of my mom's.

We have a lot in common. We have been friends for years and compete against each other in academics. The problem is, he asked a close friend of mine to go to the prom last week, and he did it right in front of me.

My friends, including the girl who said no, keep telling me he really does like me, even though I was apparently his second choice. The trouble is, I already said yes and I don't want to go back on my word. How do I keep myself from feeling like a consolation prize?-- SECOND BEST

DEAR S.B.: The boy who asked you to the prom wants to have a good time. As you said, you are friendly and have a lot in common. Please don't let the fact that he asked your friend first get in your way. It's not a contest for anyone's affection; it's only a dance.

DEAR ABBY: I met an amazing lady. She's beautiful, sexy, charming, attentive, classy, smart and conservative. In short, she is almost everything a good man would ask for in a woman except for one thing -- she's a tad clingy, and in some instances, it is annoying.

I'm the type of guy who loves my space. She seems to respect it, but gets a little down when I decline an offer to spend time. To avoid hurting or offending her, I sometimes just do whatever will make her happy, although it feels like a chore. Don't get me wrong, I'm physically and mentally attracted to her, but I'm not sure about the emotional part.

The more I feel I'm forcing myself to spend time with her, the more I lose interest. I know this is cliche, but I honestly feel that it's not her, it's me. Am I just not ready to settle down?-- LIKES MY SPACE

DEAR LIKES: That's what it sounds like to me. And that's what you should tell the lady, because someone with all the wonderful qualities you attribute to her won't be alone and heartbroken for long. In fact, if she knew that you feel you must "force" yourself to be with her, your relationship would already be history.

DEAR ABBY: In June of last year I fractured my kneecap. I was employed at the time and asked my daughter to fill in for me while I recuperated. Not only did she walk away from the job, she has yet to visit or even call me to see how I am doing.

I can't imagine anyone being so cold and distant. It hurts me to this day. How can I get past this hurt and disappointment?-- STILL HURTING IN PALM DESERT

DEAR STILL HURTING: I can't imagine anyone being so cold and distant -- not to mention irresponsible -- unless there were unresolved issues between the two of you before you hurt your knee, or your daughter has emotional problems.

How do you get past something as painful as this wake-up call has been? The first option would be to try to understand what has caused your daughter to act the way she has. Another would be to fill your days with enough activities that you don't have time to dwell on it.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#2 May 17, 2014
1- Marsha Marsha Marsha!

2- So basically you just want a booty-call?

3- Me Me Me! I agree there's probably a back-story here, as she hasn't called you in almost a year

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

#3 May 17, 2014
1. Good gawd, it's a dance, not a proposal.

2. Move on and let her get on with her life.

3. You've raised quite the winner there...

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#4 May 17, 2014
3. The question is, WHY did your daughter fracture your kneecap ?

Hancock, NY

#5 May 17, 2014
1: Yes, it's just a dance and you're reading too much into. Just go and have a good time.

2: You aren't doing her any favors.

3: Just what kind of a job allows you to find your own replacement while you recuperate? Just wondering. Anyway there are deeper problems here. She didn't "walk away from the job." She turned down a temporary job that she didn't want. Perhaps she resented your asking her to do it. Have you always asked/told her to do the things you can't? Abby doesn't know your daughter so it would be difficult for her to know why your daughter hasn't been around in a year. Maybe your daughter has her own problems and is tired of listening to yours. So call her and ask how things are going in her life and listen to what she has to say. You might also want to ask whether you offended her in any way. I mean - the phone goes both ways. Why should she be the one to call you if you may have been the one who offended her in some way? At this point, a loving mother would want to know how her daughter is even if the daughter hasn't called or visited in a year. It sounds as though the two of you are waiting each other out - which one will be the first to "blink" or call the other. Be the grown up and call her. If she doesn't answer the phone or call you back, send her a card telling her you miss her. The best you can do is let her know you're there for her if she wants to see you.

Solna, Sweden

#6 May 17, 2014
boundary painter

Waco, TX

#7 May 19, 2014
Glance into the past for LW3. The daughter:
(a) remembers many times the mother withheld permission for her to
go on field trips or other positive activities
(b) has an SO whom the mother treated unkindly.
(c) has children that need her more than the mother seems to
(d) other

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