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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Oct 19, 2012
DEAR ABBY: I have recently developed what I consider to be a very healthy lifestyle. I exercise, eat lots of fruits and vegetables and mostly whole foods.

My problem is I think I may be becoming obsessed. It has become harder and harder to eat away from home. I constantly plan what I'm going to eat next. I'm still happy, but too much of my time is being spent on this.

Apparently, there's a disorder similar to anorexia known as orthorexia. It's the psychological obsession with eating healthy. I don't think I could be classified as an extreme case, but what should I do before I become one?-- OBSESSED IN BOSTON

DEAR OBSESSED: As with any obsessive disorder, the first step is realizing and admitting you may have one. Then discuss it with your physician and ask for a referral to a psychologist who specializes in eating disorders.

This is not to say that you have a disorder -- but because more and more of your time is being devoted to thoughts of food, it would be a good idea to check. Too much of a good thing can be harmful if it is taken too far.

DEAR ABBY: I am 23 and have one child. I have been married for three years, and my husband has recently become physically abusive. He was prosecuted for his actions and pleaded guilty, but he still blames me entirely for the scenario and refuses to accept any responsibility.

I fear for the safety of myself and my daughter every day, and I want to leave him for good. Many of the shelters I have called require that I quit my job, which is something I feel is counterintuitive to establishing a life on my own, so I refuse. That said, I don't make much money, and the money I do make goes toward paying the fine my husband incurred for harming me.

Am I aiming too high? I feel the only way to break free from him entirely is to quit my job, but I don't want to have to resort to this. What would you advise?-- CONFLICTED OUT WEST

DEAR CONFLICTED: I would advise you to take your child and get out of there before the next episode of domestic violence. And, if you truly want to break free entirely from your abuser, that you follow to the letter the instructions you receive from the people at the domestic violence shelter. And one more thing: Let the person who incurred the fine pay it himself!

DEAR ABBY: I have a question about office microwave etiquette. I work in a building with one kitchen for 40 people. Often there is a wait to use the microwave around lunchtime. Recently I needed to use it and found a warm packaged meal in there, and no owner around. I waited five minutes and came back. It was still there as if it had been forgotten.

I decided to place it on the counter with a napkin covering it so I could use the microwave. When I was finished, no one appeared to claim it, so I put it back in and went on my way.

Did I do the right thing? There was no way to know whose meal it was. What's proper in this situation? Should I have just waited?-- HUNGRY IN ITHACA, N.Y.

DEAR HUNGRY: You handled the situation appropriately. However, had it been me, I would have left the item on the counter so it wouldn't be touched by the other 38 hungry people in your office who also needed to use the microwave.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#2 Oct 19, 2012
L1: So you're obsessing about having an obsession?

L2: You're looking for an excuse not to do something. GTFO, quit that job -- the reason is that it can cost you your life. He obviously knows where you work. Where are your brains? You are endangering yourself and your child.

L3: This sorta happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I went to use the microwave and someone's food was in it. I took it out and put it on top of the microwave. The owner of the food suddenly came forward and gave ME the dirty look. I was amused. It's not your house so don't act like it. I didn't say it, but I wanted to. I decide it wasn't worth giving it much thought.
PEllen

Chicago, IL

#3 Oct 19, 2012
LW2 is so beaten down that she wasn't even complaining that she was paying the fine teh court imposed for his hitting her. Talk about being asked to dig your own grave.

This won't end well.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#4 Oct 19, 2012
L1: You're going to crash and burn. I think NOW is the time for some professional help (counseling) before this obsession gets out of control. Also, people obsessed with the food they eat tend to be incredibly annoying to others.

L2: Why would they require you to quit your job? I'm curious as to the reason behind that. Is it so he can't find her?

L3: I wait for no one. If a machine is done and someone's stuff is sitting there, I move it. It's on that person to keep track of time and be on top of things. I wouldn't have waited five minutes like this LW, that's for sure. I wouldn't have waited at all.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#5 Oct 19, 2012
1 Just go eat a pizza already.

2 and the cycle continues....

3 Yeah, whom ever has food in the micro controls it for as long as it takes for their fat ass to get it.
Hook up with LW1 and start eating some healthy crap.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#6 Oct 19, 2012
LW1: "I don't think I could be classified as an extreme case, but what should I do before I become one?"
Have a deep dish pizza loaded with meat at least once a week.

LW2: "Many of the shelters I have called require that I quit my job" WTF?!?

"I don't make much money, and the money I do make goes toward paying the fine my husband incurred for harming me."
DOUBLE WTF?!?

LW3: If this concerns you so much that you have to ask an advice columnist, you are too stupid to eat lunch.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#7 Oct 19, 2012
If a couple are divorcing, one parent can't just decide to take the kid and leave. The other parent still has parental rights. So how does this work in cases of abused women? How can she just take the kid and go, legally? Couldn't the father have her arrested for kidnapping?
PEllen

Chicago, IL

#8 Oct 19, 2012
RACE wrote:
.
2 and the cycle continues....
.
Speaking of which, has he disappeared again? Anyone heard from him?

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#9 Oct 19, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
If a couple are divorcing, one parent can't just decide to take the kid and leave. The other parent still has parental rights. So how does this work in cases of abused women? How can she just take the kid and go, legally? Couldn't the father have her arrested for kidnapping?
When she gets to an abuse shelter, they'll have someone take her to a judge to get an emergency restraining order so the husband has to stay away from her AND the kid, until a hearing can be set. Someone who has been physically abusive to his/her spouse often gets restricted or supervised visitation because it's assumed that parent (1) will abuse the kid, and (2) will be more likely to interfere with the relationship between the kid and the abused parent.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#10 Oct 19, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
LW1: "I don't think I could be classified as an extreme case, but what should I do before I become one?"
Have a deep dish pizza loaded with meat at least once a week.
That sounds gross to me. But when I ordered a pizza for me and Nick, I surprised him by having it be triple meat and I just ate the outside parts that had little to no meat. He was in heaven.
PEllen

Chicago, IL

#11 Oct 19, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
If a couple are divorcing, one parent can't just decide to take the kid and leave. The other parent still has parental rights. So how does this work in cases of abused women? How can she just take the kid and go, legally? Couldn't the father have her arrested for kidnapping?
The papers seem to suggest that around here the abused mom needs to get a court order usually for supervised visits of teh kid and the dad. It takes an enormous amount for the divorce judges here to deny visitation entirely.

Do you follow the Dwayne Wade B-ball player formerly with Chicago Bulls story? His ex has done an amazing number of things to poison teh relationship, interfere with visitation. She gets arrested for kidnapping evey few months and she still gets supervised visitation

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#12 Oct 19, 2012
PEllen wrote:
Do you follow the Dwayne Wade B-ball player formerly with Chicago Bulls story? His ex has done an amazing number of things to poison teh relationship, interfere with visitation. She gets arrested for kidnapping evey few months and she still gets supervised visitation
Dwayne Wad has never played for the Bulls.
PEllen

Chicago, IL

#13 Oct 19, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Dwayne Wad has never played for the Bulls.
You are right. He is from Chicago though. I will send you a link about his custody battles with his ex. Truly amazing and it si almost entirely her doing.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#14 Oct 19, 2012
I asked in another forum about why would the woman need to quit her job, and someone said it's so the abusive spouse doesn't follow the wife home from her job and finds out where the shelter is, putting all the women there at risk.
PEllen

Chicago, IL

#15 Oct 19, 2012
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
You are right. He is from Chicago though. I will send you a link about his custody battles with his ex. Truly amazing and it si almost entirely her doing.
http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/D-Wade-i...

This is the news story which popped during teh NBA Finals. The local stories have been much more explicit about his ex's behavior. The worst they have done to her is require supervised visits by the mom in FL, not IL. They gave custody to Dwayne

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#16 Oct 19, 2012
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
You are right. He is from Chicago though. I will send you a link about his custody battles with his ex. Truly amazing and it si almost entirely her doing.
I'd be curious to read that, too!

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#17 Oct 19, 2012
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
I asked in another forum about why would the woman need to quit her job, and someone said it's so the abusive spouse doesn't follow the wife home from her job and finds out where the shelter is, putting all the women there at risk.
This is the reason I figured, but making someone quit their job DOES sound totally counter-productive to getting them out of an abusive situation and being independent. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#18 Oct 19, 2012
L1: This is the healthiest disorder I've ever heard of.

L3: I thought this was going to end with the owner of the original food getting pissed off that the LW took it out of the microwave. But really, nothing happened. So I don't see how this is a question.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#19 Oct 19, 2012
1- Just don't start hoarding your banannas.

2- Yeah, quit your job and move out of your house while having a baby to support. Society needs more of you.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#20 Oct 19, 2012
L3. There's a special place in hell for people who leave their stuff in a communal microwave.

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