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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Sep 3, 2014
DEAR AMY: Now that many residences no longer have home phones with the number listed in a phone book and through 411, how do first responders contact a parent or loved one in case of an emergency?

There are six of us in our family. Now that our children are older and newly on their own, they don't even share our address. All six of us have cellphones with a privacy code. Again, how can someone contact us in case of an emergency? At a recent family dinner no one could answer that question. Help!-- Concerned Parents

DEAR PARENTS: I shared your question with a spokesperson for the Chicago Police Department, who responded with the following useful information:

"Today, more people rely on mobile technology and less on residential land lines to communicate and keep in touch with one another. Although this sometimes presents problems in some emergency situations, it is important to remember that each case is unique. In the event of an emergency, law enforcement agencies use various investigative tools and methods to locate next of kin. Police departments have access to public records and databases that are invaluable in pointing first responders in the right direction. In some instances, social media has also been used to identify, but never notify, friends and family.

"We'd also like to stress the importance of having some piece of identification on your person at all times. A simple up-to-date driver's license or state identification card can help immensely in these situations.

"Last but not least, most new mobile smartphones allow users to set ICE (In Case of Emergency) contacts that are accessible from the phone's locked screen. We would recommend everyone have at least two designated ICE contacts in their smartphones, so that these persons can be contacted in the event of an emergency."

DEAR AMY: I'm very accepting of same-sex marriage, and my wife's sister is married to another woman.

But this woman is very masculine in appearance, and intentionally so -- as she seems not at all bothered when waiters at restaurants address her as "sir."

She has short, straight hair, uses no makeup, walks and dresses like a man, and doesn't even own a skirt. She is so "butch" that I'm uncomfortable being seen with her. Is it asking too much for a woman -- any woman -- to at least display some feminine traits when with friends or relatives in public?-- Right ... or Judgmental?

DEAR JUDGMENTAL: It is too much to ask that a woman should dress in a more feminine style in order for you to be more comfortable. Unless you are Joan Rivers reporting on red carpet fashion, there is nothing to be gained by your judgments or pronouncements about how a person presents him/herself.

I would deliver the same perspective to your in-law if she wrote to me saying that she is bothered by the way you or your wife dress and express your gender identification: This is a personal choice, and none of your business.

Make a conscious choice not to care about this -- and then don't care.

DEAR AMY: "Concerned Parent" complained about a teacher who blabbed and gossiped about her students outside of school at social events.

You said the parent should notify the principal of the school because the teacher needed "training."

Amy, what this teacher is doing is completely illegal. Families are protected by FERPA, the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act. This woman must be reported!-- Disappointed in You

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: My research on FERPA revealed that this legislation applies to school records and student information.

The teacher in this case was gossiping widely and unwisely about specific students' personal lives. You may be right that she is violating FERPA. She should be reported and compelled to stop.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#2 Sep 3, 2014
1- just post on Facebook

2- why didn't your wife's sister just marry a man then?

3- derka derka

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#3 Sep 3, 2014
LW2: Tolerance to me is live and let live and respecting the right of people to make other choices that you would not make, not I have hang out with you even though the way you present yourself embarrasses me and makes me uncomfortable.

If it bothers you so much, then donít go out in public with her.

I donít buy this PC B.S. that you must embrace everyone, be their friend, and hang out with them, even when you donít want to.

If his wife's sister had instead married a cross dresser who likes to go out in public wearing ballerina tutus, does he just have to go out with them and ignore it. Eff that.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#4 Sep 3, 2014
L1: I think the hospital and police can figure out how to unlock a phone. The ICE suggestion is a good one.
L2: Amy has this right.
L3: Glad we all agree.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#5 Sep 3, 2014
(channeling the mutt)
Oh, for the love of....Can't we go a single flipping day without some gay BS? The fact that it is in the letters every day only highlights how much trouble being gay causes.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#6 Sep 3, 2014
Sublime1 wrote:
LW2: Tolerance to me is live and let live and respecting the right of people to make other choices that you would not make, not I have hang out with you even though the way you present yourself embarrasses me and makes me uncomfortable.
If it bothers you so much, then donít go out in public with her.
I donít buy this PC B.S. that you must embrace everyone, be their friend, and hang out with them, even when you donít want to.
If his wife's sister had instead married a cross dresser who likes to go out in public wearing ballerina tutus, does he just have to go out with them and ignore it. Eff that.
My cell phone is password protected. The screen shows a version of my name and my cell phone number.

If I found a phone configured the same way I could identify the person and locate associated family members and neighbors and other info quickly and easily. It is not difficult and much of it is free.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#7 Sep 3, 2014
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
My cell phone is password protected. The screen shows a version of my name and my cell phone number.
If I found a phone configured the same way I could identify the person and locate associated family members and neighbors and other info quickly and easily. It is not difficult and much of it is free.
What's that have to do with the butch lesbian?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#8 Sep 3, 2014
RACE wrote:
(channeling the mutt)
Oh, for the love of....Can't we go a single flipping day without some gay BS? The fact that it is in the letters every day only highlights how much trouble being gay causes.
Exactly, get rid of the gay issues and half the world's problems will dissolve away

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#9 Sep 3, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Exactly, get rid of the gay issues and half the world's problems will dissolve away
Of course, because you NEVER see any problems between hetrosexual couples.(sarcasm)

Half the world's problems? Not counting the bombings and general killings, I take it.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#10 Sep 3, 2014
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
Of course, because you NEVER see any problems between hetrosexual couples.(sarcasm)
Half the world's problems? Not counting the bombings and general killings, I take it.
Was them gays that allowed ISIL to rise to power
boundary painter

San Antonio, TX

#11 Sep 3, 2014
RACE wrote:
(channeling the mutt)
Oh, for the love of....Can't we go a single flipping day without some gay BS? The fact that it is in the letters every day only highlights how much trouble being gay causes.
Thanks for a good laugh, RACE.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#12 Sep 3, 2014
LW1: No worries, bad news travels fast.

LW2: I know a couple like this one. The butch half of the couple is a really fun, positive, and well-liked woman. Her wife is very girly. They live in Santa Cruz, CA, and nobody gives them sideways glances there. I agree with Amy's advice - you can choose to not care about her outward appearance. Live a little. Get to know someone who's outside of your comfort zone.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#14 Sep 3, 2014
Toj wrote:
L1: I think the hospital and police can figure out how to unlock a phone.
why would you think that? Locked is locked. If any schlub at the hospital could unlock it, then the security is a farce and not capable of protecting your private data.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#15 Sep 3, 2014
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
My cell phone is password protected. The screen shows a version of my name and my cell phone number.
If I found a phone configured the same way I could identify the person and locate associated family members and neighbors and other info quickly and easily. It is not difficult and much of it is free.
What benefit does it provide to display your cell phone on the lock screen? They would just be calling themselves if they used another phone to dial the number .
pde

Bothell, WA

#16 Sep 3, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
What benefit does it provide to display your cell phone on the lock screen? They would just be calling themselves if they used another phone to dial the number .
Yeah, I don't get people who do that. Mine displays my husband's cell phone number, and his displays mine.

Although, as someone who has done some work with cell phones, a good percentage of the locked ones can be "hacked" by looking at the most intense grease spots on the screen.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#17 Sep 3, 2014
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
Yeah, I don't get people who do that. Mine displays my husband's cell phone number, and his displays mine.
Although, as someone who has done some work with cell phones, a good percentage of the locked ones can be "hacked" by looking at the most intense grease spots on the screen.
on my lock screen, I have my email address displayed in case I lose my phone. Also from the lockscreen, there's an emergency call button. that button pulls up a list of numbers you can call without unlocking the phone. 911 is there by default. I added my wife to the list.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#18 Sep 3, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
What benefit does it provide to display your cell phone on the lock screen? They would just be calling themselves if they used another phone to dial the number .
I use the phone number to do a reverse look up on sites like Whitepages or PeopleSearch. I google the phone number and the name shown on the screen.If your name pops up it will also give an age range. I then start making educated guesses based on which ER I am in or what neighborhood I have been found in. People are predictable and generally moved in a well defined radius.

There are fee based websites like Lexis/Nexis that will give me biographical data, known family members and neighbors and a history of addresses you have lived at as well as alternate names you have used... all based on the information from the lock screen.

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#19 Sep 3, 2014
I don't know. I know it happens and all, but how often does someone really end up as a john or jane doe, I ask.
I say people should simply carry ID at all times when out in public.
I mean, should someone have an unfortunate encounter with the police for any reason, what are you going to do? Hand them your phone and say this is who I am?
I think being identified properly by first responders is more important than notifying next of kin, if I'm reading this right.
I mean, they'll find your relatives if they know who you are.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#20 Sep 3, 2014
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
I use the phone number to do a reverse look up on sites like Whitepages or PeopleSearch. I google the phone number and the name shown on the screen.If your name pops up it will also give an age range. I then start making educated guesses based on which ER I am in or what neighborhood I have been found in. People are predictable and generally moved in a well defined radius.
There are fee based websites like Lexis/Nexis that will give me biographical data, known family members and neighbors and a history of addresses you have lived at as well as alternate names you have used... all based on the information from the lock screen.
The question was how do first responders contact family members seeing as how no one has a land line anymore and cell phones are typically unlisted, to which Amy made a suggestion about using ICE contacts in your phone to make it easy on people who need to contact your family in case of emergency.

Your idea of leaving YOUR name & number on the lockscreen so someone can begin internet sleuthing (potentially for a fee?)as to who you are seems to be a goose chase to find information more easily discovered by....checking your id.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#21 Sep 3, 2014
loose cannon wrote:
I say people should simply carry ID at all times when out in public.
This does not address LW's concern. Identifying me does not necessarily identify who to contact in case of emergency. You identify me, its not as easy as 30 years ago when you could find my phone number and it would ring my house, presumably to be answered by a concerned loved one. I don't have a house phone, so contacting my family is going to take a little extra. More than a simple white page search, they'd need to find my address, then determine what other residents are at that address, then search for that person's phone number.

Oh, that reminds me, at least here in Florida, you can register ICE contacts to your license, so if you have done that, then yes, carrying ID WILL be good enough.

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