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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

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#1
Jun 14, 2013
 
DEAR ABBY: Recently, my cousin-in-law, "Carrie," attended a family party. I was happy to see her because I like her and haven't seen her since my wedding in 2011. Carrie has been going through a difficult time because of her mother's death two years ago and her father's remarriage plans.

I know people are prone to do odd things when under stress, but this has me concerned. During the evening, I went to retrieve an item from my handbag. Carrie was with me, and mentioned she loved my purse and then announced she was "stealing it." I realized it wasn't a joke when she dumped the contents of my bag on the kitchen counter in front of several family members. She then handed me $10 and put my purse in her car!

I was flabbergasted and didn't know how to react. Although I had mentioned that I bought the bag at a thrift store for less than Carrie gave me, I liked it because it is a vintage item. I don't think a replacement will easily be found.

While I was always excited to see Carrie before, I am now leery of seeing her again for fear of a repeat of what she did. Am I wrong to feel offended? Do I have any hope of getting my purse back?-- STUPEFIED IN NEW YORK

DEAR STUPEFIED: Carrie's behavior was outrageous and may indicate that she has emotional problems that should be addressed.

That you would be offended is understandable. That you would be so shocked you didn't immediately object is also understandable. The only hope of getting your purse back would be to pay this woman a visit, return her money and tell her it's time to return it. If you're up to the challenge, she may agree. But don't count on it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Wayne" for about a year. Everything is wonderful, but my problem is he is stingy when it comes to issuing a compliment. I'll get dressed up -- makeup, hair, the whole thing -- and ask him what he thinks, and his response is always, "It's OK. You always look beautiful to me, so you don't have to dress up."

Maybe I shouldn't complain about this, but sometimes I feel Wayne would say I looked good if I were sick and vomiting into a toilet. It's not like I want him to say I look awful; I just want more of a response than what I'm getting. Any ideas on how to approach this?-- ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL? IN MINNESOTA

DEAR ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL: Yes. Approach your boyfriend directly. Tell him there is something you need from him that you're not getting -- and that is acknowledgment when you make a special effort. Explain that while you're complimented that he thinks you're always beautiful, you feel let down by his reaction. If he cares about your feelings, he may be a little more generous.

DEAR ABBY: How and when do I tell the guy I just started seeing that I have bipolar disorder? I don't want to make him think I'm crazy. On the other hand, I really like him and hope our relationship will grow into something more. I don't want to start it off with a lie.-- NOT REALLY CRAZY IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR NOT REALLY CRAZY: You shouldn't start off a relationship with a lie. However, health information of any sort is personal, and it need not be revealed until you become friendly enough that there is a reason to know. Once you become good friends, you should disclose any information that is pertinent, including your diagnosis and the fact that it is being managed.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

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#2
Jun 14, 2013
 

Judged:

1

1- Technically, she didn't "steal" it. She paid you for it.

2- So don't try so hard.

3- He'll figure it out soon enough. And Abby, she never said her diagnosis is being "managed."

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#3
Jun 14, 2013
 

Judged:

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1 Carrie is wonky. If you try to get it back she will start stalking you and she will eventually off you while you sleep. Leave it alone and stay away from her.

2 Dear abby, my boyfriend tell me that I am beautiful, boo-hoo! How do I make him stop this and tell me how I really look.

3... I don't want to make him think I'm crazy....
Ummmm, yeah you want to be honest, just not THAT honest.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#4
Jun 14, 2013
 

Judged:

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L1: If I ever go bat shiz insane, I hope that's the way I do it. B!tch, gimme those shoooooes!

L2: That sounds like an open invite to get super fat and wear sweats all the time. I don't see the problem.

L3: I don't know what the solution is, but you should start the conversation "You know the phrase 'Don't stick your d1ck in crazy?'".

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Marcus Hook, PA

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#5
Jun 14, 2013
 
Matilda77 wrote:
L1: If I ever go bat shiz insane, I hope that's the way I do it. B!tch, gimme those shoooooes!
L2: That sounds like an open invite to get super fat and wear sweats all the time. I don't see the problem.
L3: I don't know what the solution is, but you should start the conversation "You know the phrase 'Don't stick your d1ck in crazy?'".
You're on a roll this morning, girl!

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

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#6
Jun 14, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
You're on a roll this morning, girl!
I know, right?
Cass

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

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#7
Jun 14, 2013
 
LW1 - What Matilda said.
LW2 - What Edog said.
LW3 - I don't know. The timing on that one is tricky, but you'll have to tell him at some point.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

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#8
Jun 14, 2013
 
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
You're on a roll this morning, girl!
I'm fully caffeinated!

Since: Jan 10

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#9
Jun 14, 2013
 

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L1: You let her do this. Freakin' spineless idiot.

L2: I have a friend like you. She's very, very pretty but she needs to hear it. SHe's even trained her kid to tell her how pretty mommy is. I think it's insecure and pathetic but whatever.

Look, he is the guy he is. He isn't going to change. Either accept him as he is or break up and find someone who will tell you how hot you are and see how happy that makes you.

Since: Jan 10

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#10
Jun 14, 2013
 
Matilda77 wrote:
L1: If I ever go bat shiz insane, I hope that's the way I do it. B!tch, gimme those shoooooes!
L2: That sounds like an open invite to get super fat and wear sweats all the time. I don't see the problem.
L3: I don't know what the solution is, but you should start the conversation "You know the phrase 'Don't stick your d1ck in crazy?'".
BAZINGA.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#11
Jun 14, 2013
 
LW1: Say goodbye to the purse and the cousin.

LW2: What do you want? To have to beat him off with a stick because he thinks you're so hot that he just can't keep his hands off you? Then you'd be pissed he ruined your hair.

Maybe you should believe him when he says "You always look beautiful to me, so you don't have to dress up."

LW3: Watch, he's probably waiting to tell you the same thing.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#12
Jun 14, 2013
 
L1: Steal it back and throw her a $10.

L2: Stop being so damn insecure.

L3: He probably already knows.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Auburn, WA

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#13
Jun 14, 2013
 
1: W T actual F? You just let her do this? You didn't pull it the hell away from her while she was dumping your stuff out of it? You deserve it

2: Oh shut up.

3: What Mattie said.

Since: May 13

Monterey, CA

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#14
Jun 14, 2013
 
LW1: You are the mellowest person who has written to an advice columnist in recent memory. I would have gone off on her bigtime when she dumped the stuff out of my purse.

LW2: Drama queen. It's nice to get compliments, but not so good to NEED compliments.

LW3: You don't have to tell him everything all at once. Get to know each other. Then see Mathilda's post.

Since: Jan 10

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#15
Jun 14, 2013
 
You know, I have some friends who carry a TON of stuff in their purses. How did LW get all her crap home? In a plastic grocery store bag?

I don't agree with Abby's "I can understand why you were in such shock that you didn't say/do anything."

NO ONE would be going through my purse without my permission, let alone dump it out and take it. Especially my cute green Nine West purse, or my awesome Prada knock-off in golden yellow.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#16
Jun 14, 2013
 

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RedheadwGlasses wrote:
You know, I have some friends who carry a TON of stuff in their purses. How did LW get all her crap home? In a plastic grocery store bag?
I don't agree with Abby's "I can understand why you were in such shock that you didn't say/do anything."
NO ONE would be going through my purse without my permission, let alone dump it out and take it. Especially my cute green Nine West purse, or my awesome Prada knock-off in golden yellow.
My husband's mother taught him so well, that even when I say it's OK for him to get something out of my purse he will bring it to me anyway.

Now I'm working on my own children; they seem to think my bag is their bag too. Sorry babies, I will carry your toy but you must ask for it back.
mogget

Chicago, IL

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#17
Jun 14, 2013
 
Use your words.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Auburn, WA

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#18
Jun 14, 2013
 

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squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
My husband's mother taught him so well, that even when I say it's OK for him to get something out of my purse he will bring it to me anyway.
Now I'm working on my own children; they seem to think my bag is their bag too. Sorry babies, I will carry your toy but you must ask for it back.
Word.

A couple weeks ago I'd picked up something for the husband at the store. He was here to pick it up. He had $8 change coming so he took it from my wallet. I went OFF on him, threw in the "do you do that to your mother" thing (no) too. Oh hell no. You want it,*I* will get it.

Since: Jan 10

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#19
Jun 14, 2013
 

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squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
My husband's mother taught him so well, that even when I say it's OK for him to get something out of my purse he will bring it to me anyway.
Now I'm working on my own children; they seem to think my bag is their bag too. Sorry babies, I will carry your toy but you must ask for it back.
This describes most guys I know -- they won't open their wife's purse or billfold without permission. One guy friend will just bring his wife's purse to her for her to get out what he wants/needs, even though she told him to get it himself.

Since: Oct 09

Wagner, SD

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#20
Jun 15, 2013
 

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RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
This describes most guys I know -- they won't open their wife's purse or billfold without permission. One guy friend will just bring his wife's purse to her for her to get out what he wants/needs, even though she told him to get it himself.
I may be a gal, but that's the way I am also. I hate going into anyone else's stuff even if I've been specifically asked to do so and have specific permission. Hubby laughed about it at first, but now he knows to just ask me to bring him his wallet, or notebook or whatever, instead of asking me to get such-and-such from it for him.

I think a lot of that comes from my mother's constant nosiness, both when I was growing up and even now, when I'm nearing fifty. She never had any problem with going through my room, my dresser and desk drawers, my purse,(and later, my cars), opening my mail even when I wasn't there or demanding to know what my mail was, listening into my phone calls, etc., etc., and she did it all the effing time, well into my adulthood. She STILL does, when she visits. DROVE. ME. CRAZY.

I'm a much more private person than her to begin with, all her family was and is the same way as her and they don't think anything about it. In fact, I'M the nutty one for being so private. I don't think so. This cousin beeyotch is lucky she wasn't dealing with me,'cause there's no way in h e l l she would have even gotten to the point of dumping my stuff out of it. Of course, had that happened to me, my mother and the rest of the family likely would have told me to just "be nice, let her have it, don't make waves,", etc., etc.

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