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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Jul 17, 2013
DEAR ABBY: I became sexually active at an extremely young age. I know my whole life would be different, as well as my children's lives, had I just known better. I have a 4-year-old daughter, a 7-year-old son and a 12-year-old stepson. I want desperately to protect them from making the same mistakes I did. I feel like the best way to prevent this is to speak openly about sex.

The closest anyone ever came to speaking to me about sex was my grandfather (of all people!), who gave me a Dear Abby booklet that was written to inform kids about sex. Even though I was embarrassed when he gave it to me and I ran back to my room to hide, I still read the whole thing from front to back. It was interesting, but unfortunately, it was too late. I have always wished I would have been given that booklet a couple of years sooner.

This was about 15 years ago. Is there any chance you know the book I'm talking about and where I could find a few to pass on to my children? Obviously, the family around me were not comfortable speaking of sex. Please know how grateful I am even all this time later that you provided my grandfather with a way to reach out to me.-- GRATEFUL IN HOUSTON

DEAR GRATEFUL: Many parents find the subject of sex a difficult one to raise with their children, so they postpone it. As happened in your case, that discussion often comes after it is too late.

Because children are now maturing at earlier ages, these discussions should be part of an ongoing dialogue that begins before puberty. My booklet is written to help "break the ice" and start the discussion more easily. It can be ordered by sending your name and address, plus check or money order for ..Send Me Money... Shipping and handling are included in the price. It would be helpful for you to review the booklet again so you can prepare beforehand to answer questions or guide the conversation.

Among the important topics included in my booklet are: "How old must a girl be before she can get pregnant?" "How old must a boy be before he can father a child?" "What time of the month is a girl 100 percent safe?" and "Can a girl get pregnant the first time she has sex?"

Also included is a section on various sexually transmitted diseases and what to do if you think you may have one. This is extremely important because STDs need to be treated right away, and not doing so can have lifelong consequences.

Knowledge is power. The more information children receive, the better they will be prepared for making intelligent, informed decisions.

DEAR ABBY: My husband passed away 10 weeks ago. I plan on wearing my wedding ring for the remainder of my life. Your opinion would be appreciated.-- GRIEVING WIDOW IN TEXAS

DEAR GRIEVING WIDOW: Allow me to offer my sympathy for the loss of your husband. Because the ring brings you comfort, you may wear it as long as you wish.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#2 Jul 17, 2013
L2: You may think that NOW, but your mind may change later and you'll find that you're done wearing your ring. And that's perfectly fine. It's also perfectly fine if you end up wearing it until the day you die.

L1: Yup. Most parents don't discuss sex. Shocker.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#3 Jul 17, 2013
Lw1: Fake, just advertisement for Abby's booklet. I didn't even read her "response."

Lw2: Opinion on what? If you should get it resized or just move it to your pinkie when you get so fat from wallowing. in your self-inflicted misery?

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#4 Jul 17, 2013
1 Great, a book about teenagers having sex and the best time of the month to do it.

2 Ouch Squishy! Had a big bowl of snark for breakfast?

It is pouring here, I mean really pouring.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#5 Jul 17, 2013
L1: Awww, your grandpa knew you were the fourth grade tramp!

L2: My dad wears a different ring on his left ring finger now. I only assume it is because dem old church b1tches be swarming over him like flies on sh1t.

Since: Feb 10

Location hidden

#6 Jul 17, 2013
I know a woman who made a big deal about never taking her wedding ring off after she was widowed pretty young (32, I believe). EVERYBODY heard about how he had placed that ring on her hand for life so that's how long she would wear it, etc. She worked it into the conversation all the time. Then she met a friend of mine, started dating, and eventually married him. She does still wear her first wedding ring, on the right hand, but has said she feels kind of embarrassed about making a production out of back then. Meh, she's a nice lady who was completely overwhelmed with the mess she had to deal with after his unexpected death. I think it was just a little thing she could focus on to help cope with all the big stuff.
LW, wear it as long as you like, and ignore anyone who may tell you otherwise. It's nobody's business but your own.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#7 Jul 17, 2013
itser wrote:
I know a woman who made a big deal about never taking her wedding ring off after she was widowed pretty young (32, I believe). EVERYBODY heard about how he had placed that ring on her hand for life so that's how long she would wear it, etc. She worked it into the conversation all the time. Then she met a friend of mine, started dating, and eventually married him. She does still wear her first wedding ring, on the right hand, but has said she feels kind of embarrassed about making a production out of back then. Meh, she's a nice lady who was completely overwhelmed with the mess she had to deal with after his unexpected death. I think it was just a little thing she could focus on to help cope with all the big stuff.
LW, wear it as long as you like, and ignore anyone who may tell you otherwise. It's nobody's business but your own.
Last night on Criminal Minds, one of the agents was dealing with a woman who had been widowed young while pregnant. He said that young women who are widowed tend to have a victim mentality as a result ("why did someone do this to ME?"). Sounds like your friend fit that bill. It gave her something to cling to during a rough patch.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#8 Jul 17, 2013
RACE wrote:
2 Ouch Squishy! Had a big bowl of snark for breakfast?
Yes, with a side of 70% humidity and no air conditioning.

I just found this lady's drama irritating. YOu don't need to make a big production of it, just do whatever gets you through the day and if it's still wearing your ring, then just wear it.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#9 Jul 17, 2013
Those of you who are or were married--do/did you wear your ring constantly? I'd say I wear mine maybe 10-20% of the time. I don't ever wear it to sleep, just hanging out at the house, on days that I play hockey in the morning, biking, etc. I'm working from home today and not wearing it. J never wears his but I don't think it fits. Like, I care about it and I always know where it is, I just don't see a need to wear it constantly.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#10 Jul 17, 2013
L1: Okay -- so why haven't you? It's an ongoing process, answering their questions about their bodies, etc. You should not have one big talk -- it should be an ongoing dialogue appropriate for the age and their questions. Letting the kids know you are open to any questions will be the most helpful thing.

L2: Don't let people tell you otherwise -- where it as long or short as it makes you feel comfortable. Don't worry about other people so much.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#11 Jul 17, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
Those of you who are or were married--do/did you wear your ring constantly? I'd say I wear mine maybe 10-20% of the time. I don't ever wear it to sleep, just hanging out at the house, on days that I play hockey in the morning, biking, etc. I'm working from home today and not wearing it. J never wears his but I don't think it fits. Like, I care about it and I always know where it is, I just don't see a need to wear it constantly.
When married, I wore my ring all the time, other than cleaning the kitchen/bathroom, doing dishes, or doing yardwork. If my ring still fit, I'd still wear it just for fun because it sparkles -- but just at home, not out in public or around other people.

Since: Feb 10

Location hidden

#12 Jul 17, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Last night on Criminal Minds, one of the agents was dealing with a woman who had been widowed young while pregnant. He said that young women who are widowed tend to have a victim mentality as a result ("why did someone do this to ME?"). Sounds like your friend fit that bill. It gave her something to cling to during a rough patch.
Yeah, a little bit. I never really heard that from her, but it was a lot for someone to juggle. They had just adopted three troubled siblings in addition to their 3 bio-kids, and they needed tons of attention before he died, so you know it got much worse after. She was just starting a demanding job that she couldn't afford to leave, and his family wasn't horrid to her, but not at all helpful either. Hers were across country and not in a position to help, but his were right in town and chose to do little to nothing.

I like the difference in the 2 engagement rings. The one on her right probably suited her perfectly when she got it - BIG shiny rock, elaborate design, etc. The one on her left fits who she (and her current husband) is now - smaller stone in a simple band. Like at 22, there was more concern for, and time to worry about, getting every little detail perfect. Now, there is a bigger picture to think of, and no time to stress about every little thing.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#13 Jul 17, 2013
1- Whorecon2.

2- Keep the cake-topper too!

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#14 Jul 17, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
Those of you who are or were married--do/did you wear your ring constantly? I'd say I wear mine maybe 10-20% of the time. I don't ever wear it to sleep, just hanging out at the house, on days that I play hockey in the morning, biking, etc. I'm working from home today and not wearing it. J never wears his but I don't think it fits. Like, I care about it and I always know where it is, I just don't see a need to wear it constantly.
Yes, all the time. However I opted in both marriages for a gold band, no stones. I chose not to get an engagement ring the 2nd time. I have some jewelry with stones which I wear for special occasions. I have a school ring I wear on the right hand. That stays on all the time also. I would feel naked without them at this point.

My husband had a wedding ring which he wore for maybe a month. Then it got lost in the sofa cushions, found and has presumably been in is jewelry box for the last 29 years. It was never a big deal for me. Some people just don't wear jewelry and teh presence or absence of a ring never stopped someone from fooling around if that is what they were going to do.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#15 Jul 17, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
Those of you who are or were married--do/did you wear your ring constantly? I'd say I wear mine maybe 10-20% of the time. I don't ever wear it to sleep, just hanging out at the house, on days that I play hockey in the morning, biking, etc. I'm working from home today and not wearing it. J never wears his but I don't think it fits. Like, I care about it and I always know where it is, I just don't see a need to wear it constantly.
Engagement rings pretty much live(d) in the jewelry box. I had one that I wore all the time, but the main diamond came loose at work and went down a sink drain. It was insured and all so it wasn't a big loss, but after that I never wore them on a daily basis. Wedding bands (plain gold and plain platinum) I would wear most all of the time, but sometimes I would take them off for something like cleaning something icky and then forget to put them back on for a while, so they lived in the jewelry box for a while until I would see them and go "oh yeah..." and put them back on. <shrug>

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#16 Jul 17, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>Yes, all the time. However I opted in both marriages for a gold band, no stones. I chose not to get an engagement ring the 2nd time. I have some jewelry with stones which I wear for special occasions. I have a school ring I wear on the right hand. That stays on all the time also. I would feel naked without them at this point.
My husband had a wedding ring which he wore for maybe a month. Then it got lost in the sofa cushions, found and has presumably been in is jewelry box for the last 29 years. It was never a big deal for me. Some people just don't wear jewelry and teh presence or absence of a ring never stopped someone from fooling around if that is what they were going to do.
My dad did manual labor for the phone company and he and his coworkers didn't wear their rings -- too dangerous. Same with electricians and other similar workers. My dad would come home from work, shower, and then put his ring on.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#17 Jul 17, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
My dad did manual labor for the phone company and he and his coworkers didn't wear their rings -- too dangerous. Same with electricians and other similar workers. My dad would come home from work, shower, and then put his ring on.
Yeah guys who work in those kinds of jobs tend to lose fingers that don't have quite the tensile strength of metal. Very dangerous.

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Schaumburg, IL

#18 Jul 17, 2013
LW2 - wear the ring as long as you feel you need to...

i wear my wedding band all the time, but haven't been wearing teh engagement ring as much lately. When the heat and humidity go back down, i'll put it back on. wehn i do wear it, though, i tend to take it off when i get home from work or whereever and i'm in for hte rest of teh day/evening.

my gramma wore her 2nd weddign ring for years after my grandfather passed (they'd been together about 30 years), but her fingers shrank so she stopped wearing it. she got scammed by someone "checking the water pressure" about 3 years ago, and all her wedding rings (first marriage & engagement rings as well) were stolen. that was the first ringing bell to my mom that SOMEthing had to be done about wathcing out for gramma more & better...

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Schaumburg, IL

#19 Jul 17, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
Yeah guys who work in those kinds of jobs tend to lose fingers that don't have quite the tensile strength of metal. Very dangerous.
i've thoguth about getting a tatoo "ring" if i had a job like that...

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#20 Jul 17, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
Those of you who are or were married--do/did you wear your ring constantly? I'd say I wear mine maybe 10-20% of the time. I don't ever wear it to sleep, just hanging out at the house, on days that I play hockey in the morning, biking, etc. I'm working from home today and not wearing it. J never wears his but I don't think it fits. Like, I care about it and I always know where it is, I just don't see a need to wear it constantly.
I wore mine whenever I was out of the house (work, shopping, dinner, whatever) but never to bed or in the shower. I honestly don't remember if I wore my rings just hanging around at home.

My now-ex had a 10-carat ring because he did have a technical job and less carats means less gold (and more other, stronger metals mixed in) so his finger wouldn't get pinched by it.

My parents never wear their rings.

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