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“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

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#41 Sep 18, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
The history of marriage: 13 points.
Awesome post. Though as you know it's likely will not make a difference to the chronically obtuse.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#42 Sep 18, 2013
Stina2 wrote:
<quoted text>
I totally agree, but maybe the mom wants to do it as a surprise or a gift and the daughter isn't asking/expecting it. When I was getting married <shudder> I found a VERY reasonably priced dress I LOVED (and still do). WHen I decided to get it and went to pay for it, my mother insisted she pay. I in no way, shape or form expected my parent sot pay for ANY part of my wedding, but they wanted to do that as a gift to me. I am assuming she told my dad first, but maybe not!
Good point. I'm probably a little biased by the huge number of women who are pushing 40 still expecting their parents to pay for their coronations, I mean weddings.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#43 Sep 18, 2013
dahgts wrote:
<quoted text>
Lack of comprehension on his part. The comment was that walking her down the aisle was archaic. Nowadays when people are getting married at an older age daddy is not "giving her away".
I think it would be ok if the bride and groom met at the start of the aisle and walked down together. With or without(step)parents following or leading. Nothing wrong with tweaking tradition a bit.
Right. And, yanno women aren't PROPERTY to be given/sold/traded anyway. It's stupid and archaic and has no place int he modern world. He is confusing (surprise!) wedding with marriage, they are not one in the same.#lobotomy!
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#44 Sep 18, 2013
LW1: How much does this dress cost that the late-30-something bride needs help to pay for it? I agree with Mimi, but also with Amy. LW will get more points for chipping in for the dress, sucking it up, and acting like a grown-up instead of a sulky child. Bio-dad remains a loser and step-daughter will figure that out. I know a woman whose bio-dad is just like that. She felt sorry for him for a while, but reality set in.

LW2: I used to be shy when I was younger, you'd never know it it you met me now.

You can come out of your shell.

You have to get out of your comfort zone. Get out and meet as many people as you can and learn how to make small talk. Ask questions, where are you from, what are your favorite restaurants in town, etc. The more you do anything, the easier it becomes.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#45 Sep 18, 2013
I could understand LW more if he'd *raised* his stepdaughter. But also, he needs to understand that many to most kids crave the love of their bio parent, no matter how abusive or neglectful. His daughter isn't thinking rationally; she just thinks this is the start of a great relationship with her bio dad. But I suspect he'll be gone after he's done looking good at her wedding, and stepdad can be the hero again.

It's just a sad reality of many people in his situation.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#46 Sep 18, 2013
Not being a girl, I can only imagine that all girls want their dad to walk them down the isle, kinda a Ken and Barbie fantasy.
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
I could understand LW more if he'd *raised* his stepdaughter. But also, he needs to understand that many to most kids crave the love of their bio parent, no matter how abusive or neglectful. His daughter isn't thinking rationally; she just thinks this is the start of a great relationship with her bio dad. But I suspect he'll be gone after he's done looking good at her wedding, and stepdad can be the hero again.
It's just a sad reality of many people in his situation.
Julie

Chicago, IL

#47 Sep 18, 2013
LW1: Ummm, have I missed something? The stepdaughter is in her late 30s.
She should pay for her own gdamn wedding dress.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#48 Sep 18, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
I predict that bio dad will be out of the picture soon after the wedding. I hope stepdad is up to the challenge of being there for his stepdaughter.
And I think step-dad knows this and might be why he's seeing things realistically.
I won't flame him--he seems to genuinely care about this girl. I don't think he'd be so miffed about not walking her if he wasn't being asked to pony up half the money. Let bio dad pay half...he has decades to make up for.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#49 Sep 18, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
Late 30s? Pay for your own damn dress. Walking down the aisle? Stupid archaic tradition.
I think the symbolism is sweet and not indicative of a woman's lack of independence...but she should buy her own freaking dress.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#50 Sep 18, 2013
cheluzal wrote:
<quoted text>
I think the symbolism is sweet and not indicative of a woman's lack of independence...but she should buy her own freaking dress.
I did too, when I was 17. Now though, especially for a bride pushing 40, just no (IMO anyway). I mean I can sort of see (though it still bugs me knowing it's origin) if the woman is still pretty young-ish, say under 25 maybe she might not have had time to really make a life independent from her parents (college and all) but by almost 40, if she hasn't become independent by then, she never will be. If anything, have BOTH parents walk her.
Julie

Chicago, IL

#51 Sep 19, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
If anything, have BOTH parents walk her.
That is the Jewish tradition--the bride is escorted down the aisle by both parents. And the cool thing is that the GROOM is ALSO escorted down the aisle by both *his* parents. Therefore, there is no connotation of a bride being "given away" from father to husband as <gag> property. Rather, both "children" are escorted to their new life by (in theory) the parents who raised them.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#52 Sep 19, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
I did too, when I was 17. Now though, especially for a bride pushing 40, just no (IMO anyway). I mean I can sort of see (though it still bugs me knowing it's origin) if the woman is still pretty young-ish, say under 25 maybe she might not have had time to really make a life independent from her parents (college and all) but by almost 40, if she hasn't become independent by then, she never will be. If anything, have BOTH parents walk her.
I don't see it as a lack of independence.
In fact, if she needs that, maybe she's too young to marry.

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