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“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#21 Aug 8, 2013
Then shouldn't you better censor yourself in your notebook? While writing these things may be therapeutic, If you got whacked by a bus, who's to know what you wanted?
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
It's really what the mother would have wanted, not what the children want. If I were to divorce my wife and it were acrimonious, I wouldn't want my children knowing the unpleasant details of the divorce, if I were to pass and even if I came out smelling like a rose by virtue of such a disclosure.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#22 Aug 8, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
It's really what the mother would have wanted, not what the children want. If I were to divorce my wife and it were acrimonious, I wouldn't want my children knowing the unpleasant details of the divorce, if I were to pass and even if I came out smelling like a rose by virtue of such a disclosure.
I'm leaning more that way, but I do see more than one side in this and I am on the fence for the most part.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#23 Aug 8, 2013
L1: Give "as is" and, if the LW feels it appropriate b/c she knows her sister well, she might want to include any change of heart her sister may have had since that time prior to her death.

The 31 year old still has time to discuss these things with the father and the father can say anything without having the mother contradict him now.

L2: Yes, Skype. You really couldn't think of that? And watch for extremely low fares for the opportunity for one or the other to visit. It's not that long of time.

L3: Snooze-Fest!
L3:

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#24 Aug 8, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
OVer at the Wapo forum on this, someone whose father committed suicide got similar documents after his death and insists that it's no one's business to edit anything or to protect adult children, that the adult children are entitled to the whole picture.
Agreed. Who the hell does she think she is to edit it anyway? The daughter is an ADULT and it's not like she wasn't aware of stuff while her parents were divorcing unless they managed to keep her in a cocoon of ignorance, which I doubt.

She has no right to edit it IMO and if I was the daughter and got something like this then found out it had been edited, I would be PISSED!

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#25 Aug 8, 2013
2: Go. What Red said. Don't give up your semester abroad for a relationship that likely won't go the distance anyway. AND....if it's meant to go the distance, one semester won't be a big deal anyway.

3:What Squishy said.

Since: Feb 10

Location hidden

#26 Aug 8, 2013
Toj wrote:
L2: Yes, Skype. You really couldn't think of that? And watch for extremely low fares for the opportunity for one or the other to visit. It's not that long of time.
I agree on the first part - not so much on the second. It was a million years ago, long before Skype existed, but I went to college in England for one year, and a couple of the other girls had boyfriends who came to visit part way through their trips. That was all they focused on, and they really missed out on a lot. Before the boyfriend came, it was all about how much longer til he's here. During the visit, they were locked away in her room. Once he left, it was boo hoo, when do I get to go back to him???
They really weren't apart all that long and the girls didn't fully engage in the program or take advantage of the opportunities we had to explore the culture and our surroundings. I guess they got to say they went to England, but they couldn't have gotten much out of it when all their attention was focused on the guys back home.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#27 Aug 8, 2013
itser wrote:
<quoted text>
I agree on the first part - not so much on the second. It was a million years ago, long before Skype existed, but I went to college in England for one year, and a couple of the other girls had boyfriends who came to visit part way through their trips. That was all they focused on, and they really missed out on a lot. Before the boyfriend came, it was all about how much longer til he's here. During the visit, they were locked away in her room. Once he left, it was boo hoo, when do I get to go back to him???
They really weren't apart all that long and the girls didn't fully engage in the program or take advantage of the opportunities we had to explore the culture and our surroundings. I guess they got to say they went to England, but they couldn't have gotten much out of it when all their attention was focused on the guys back home.
I could see that happening during a visit. That's too bad. They probably missed out on a lot of great things b/c they lost their focus.

Since: Feb 10

Location hidden

#28 Aug 8, 2013
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
I could see that happening during a visit. That's too bad. They probably missed out on a lot of great things b/c they lost their focus.
They really did. Now, I honestly don't know if it would have been any better if they boyfriends didn't come over at all - maybe they would have still sat in their rooms and pined for their Romeos.

If LW is going to be one of those girls (I hope not), then she might as well save the money now and maybe go later when BF can go with her.

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