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“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#1 Apr 3, 2013
DEAR ABBY: Before we met, my girlfriend got large breast implants. I think they're a terrible turn-off, but I don't know how to tell her. Should I try to overlook this because I love her, or can I tell her the truth about why our love life is sometimes not so hot? I have known her long enough that the next step is marriage -- or nothing.
She walks around the house bare-chested and obviously thinks I find her breasts a big turn-on. I have faked it for five years. What should I do?-- NOT THAT EXCITED IN COLORADO

DEAR NOT THAT EXCITED: Your letter is a lesson about the danger of "faking it." Level with your girlfriend, but without using the words "terrible" and "turn-off." Tell her you love her, but while many men find large breasts to be a turn-on, you actually prefer smaller ones -- to the degree that it sometimes affects your sexual performance.

Explain that if she thinks her breasts are what have kept you interested, it's not the case. At some point, one or more of her implants may need to be replaced, and she might opt for smaller ones.

DEAR ABBY: I moved to Australia 10 years ago. It has been a fantastic adventure, but I feel drawn home. Complicating things is the fact that I have a same-sex Australian partner. Because gay marriage is not federally recognized in the United States, he has no possibility of legally emigrating there. His skills are not sufficient.
To move back to the U.S. would destroy my home, which is a happy one. On the other hand, I come from a large, close family and my parents are entering their 70s. I miss my family and my culture every day, and feel torn between my family in the U.S. and my partner in Australia.

I have felt this way for a few years. I feel unable to settle down and start living or feel comfortable in my life until I work this out. The thought of not being around my family in the long term is unbearable. The thought of leaving my partner is equally painful. I have tried in vain to find an answer and feel overwhelmed. Help!-- TRANS-PACIFIC READER

DEAR TRANS-PACIFIC: I don't know your financial situation, but why must this be an "either/or" situation? You're happily settled in a beautiful country and enjoying a loving relationship. I assume you also have a well-paying job.

Your dilemma might be solved by visiting your parents more often, particularly since their health is still good. If that changes, you could return to the U.S. for a more extended period. Until the laws in the U.S. regarding same-sex marriage change, that's what you will have to do unless you're willing to sacrifice your relationship.

DEAR ABBY: Is it proper to tip your tattoo artist or piercer? They provide a service, just as a hairdresser would. I have never seen this addressed before. Your input would be helpful.-- CURIOUS IN UPSTATE NEW YORK
DEAR CURIOUS: Tattoos and piercings are considered works of art, and it's not unusual for a customer to present the artist with a gratuity commensurate with the degree of satisfaction the person feels with the results, the time it took to create it and the intricacy of the design. In lieu of money, sometimes gifts such as art books, spiritual artifacts or jewelry are given to the artist.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#2 Apr 3, 2013
LW1: "Before we met, my girlfriend got large breast implants. I think they're a terrible turn-off"

They could not be THAT much of a turn off if she already had them before you met and you still started dating her.

LW2: Take a vacation to Boston and get hitched there.

LW3: "In lieu of money, sometimes gifts such as art books, spiritual artifacts or jewelry are given to the artist."
WTF? Yeah. the tattoo guy really wants some patron to "tip" him a friggin book.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#3 Apr 3, 2013
L1: What Tonka said. If this was that big of a problem (no pun intended), you wouldn't have dated her for five years. Anyway, her boobs are what they are. I doubt that suggesting that she go back under the knife to make them smaller would go over well.

L2: What Abby said. They're called airplanes; get one one a couple of times a year.

L3: I say tip with cash or not at all.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#4 Apr 3, 2013
1 OH, BOO FRIGGING HOO! Cry me a river.

2 Is your SO an orphan? If not why is it ok for you to rip him from his dirt and family to go to yours? Arrogant Americans!

3 Yeah a book, maybe a color by numbers book, I am sure that would be most welcomed.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#5 Apr 3, 2013
j_m_w wrote:
L3: I say tip with cash or not at all.
Speaking of tipping, I saw a post yesterday where the pizza delivery receipt was for $1400(85 pizzas) and the tip was $10, and people were griping that it was not even 1%.

Who tips the pizza guy based on a %? If you deliver pizza to me, you're getting probably $2, whether I order 1 pizza or 3. I think $10 is a decent tip. For 85 pizzas, I might even go to $15. How long's it gonna take to unload 85 pizzas? If it takes an hour to unload them, he just made $10-$15 for 1 hour of work. Pretty sure that's about what a pizza guy makes per hour on a good night. Unloading 85 pizzas is definitely not going to take an hour. So for the 10 or so minutes, he just made what he normally gets in an hour.

Who agrees/disagrees?
pde

Palatine, IL

#6 Apr 3, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
LW2: Take a vacation to Boston and get hitched there.
That's still not going to help with sponsoring the partner for immigration, since the marriage isn't recognized at the federal level.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#7 Apr 3, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
Speaking of tipping, I saw a post yesterday where the pizza delivery receipt was for $1400(85 pizzas) and the tip was $10, and people were griping that it was not even 1%.
Who tips the pizza guy based on a %? If you deliver pizza to me, you're getting probably $2, whether I order 1 pizza or 3. I think $10 is a decent tip. For 85 pizzas, I might even go to $15. How long's it gonna take to unload 85 pizzas? If it takes an hour to unload them, he just made $10-$15 for 1 hour of work. Pretty sure that's about what a pizza guy makes per hour on a good night. Unloading 85 pizzas is definitely not going to take an hour. So for the 10 or so minutes, he just made what he normally gets in an hour.
Who agrees/disagrees?
I disagree. I feel like, if you can afford $1400 for pizzas, you can afforrd to tip the guy $100. But that's just me. I know many people will disagree with me.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#8 Apr 3, 2013
Also, 85 pizzas are NOT going to fit in one car. So that's at least two delivery guys, or a truck/van. Tip better for the cost of gas,e tc.

DOn't be cheap.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#9 Apr 3, 2013
L1: What if her breasts were naturally big? Would you think she should get a reduction? She should get major surgery so your boner is happier? If you get married and have kids, her breasts are going to suffer (especially if she nurses). Can you not only ACCEPT that change in her but EMBRACE it?

Probably not. End things. She deserves someone who doesn't think her breasts are a turn-off.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#10 Apr 3, 2013
Hmmm my response to LW2/3 didn't post.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#11 Apr 3, 2013
Probably because you did not type anything.
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Hmmm my response to LW2/3 didn't post.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#12 Apr 3, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
I disagree. I feel like, if you can afford $1400 for pizzas, you can afforrd to tip the guy $100. But that's just me. I know many people will disagree with me.
I agree with you too. I tip a flat few dollars for food deliveries in general, but if I was ordering THAT much, I'd definitely pony up accordingly.
tina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#13 Apr 3, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
Speaking of tipping, I saw a post yesterday where the pizza delivery receipt was for $1400(85 pizzas) and the tip was $10, and people were griping that it was not even 1%.
Who tips the pizza guy based on a %? If you deliver pizza to me, you're getting probably $2, whether I order 1 pizza or 3. I think $10 is a decent tip. For 85 pizzas, I might even go to $15. How long's it gonna take to unload 85 pizzas? If it takes an hour to unload them, he just made $10-$15 for 1 hour of work. Pretty sure that's about what a pizza guy makes per hour on a good night. Unloading 85 pizzas is definitely not going to take an hour. So for the 10 or so minutes, he just made what he normally gets in an hour.
Who agrees/disagrees?
Wow - you're cheap!!! Do your pizza deliveries take longer and longer every time you order?$2 is pretty bad for 3 pizzas.
I tip based on %.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#14 Apr 3, 2013
I would tip $20 or $15 a piece of there were 2 driver. More than 2 I would go to $40 and tell them to split it amongst themselves.

Not knowing how they arrived really makes it hard to say.
If the same driver delivered 11 pies at a time and made 8 trips I would probably give $5 a delivery knowing he was burning gas. But that would probably be my limit no matter what.
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Also, 85 pizzas are NOT going to fit in one car. So that's at least two delivery guys, or a truck/van. Tip better for the cost of gas,e tc.
DOn't be cheap.
tina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#15 Apr 3, 2013
I wondered that, too, about LW1. If it was such a turn-off, why did he start dating her? It sounds like she was one of those gals that gets ridiculously big ones, but maybe that's just how I am reading it.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#16 Apr 3, 2013
Hey Tina! You new here? Are you Hot?
tina wrote:
I wondered that, too, about LW1. If it was such a turn-off, why did he start dating her? It sounds like she was one of those gals that gets ridiculously big ones, but maybe that's just how I am reading it.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#17 Apr 3, 2013
tina wrote:
<quoted text>
Wow - you're cheap!!! Do your pizza deliveries take longer and longer every time you order?
Actually, I have not gotten delivery in years. I'd rather go pick it up myself and keep my money. It was one thing when you were just expected to tip the driver, but then they started this nonsense where you have to pay a delivery fee that does not go to the driver and tip on top of that. F that. the tip IS the delivery fee. I'm not paying double to get it delivered.
tina wrote:
$2 is pretty bad for 3 pizzas.
I tip based on %.
So you tip more for the large Supreme with mega toppings that costs $20 than you do for the 2 large cheese pizza's for $12?

And just curious, is this extra generosity just for pizza delivery guys? What about the Best Buy delivery people who bring your tv/washer/dryer/fridge? Do they get a little something extra too? Do you tip more for a $1000 fridge than you do for a $500 dryer?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#18 Apr 3, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
I disagree. I feel like, if you can afford $1400 for pizzas, you can afforrd to tip the guy $100. But that's just me. I know many people will disagree with me.
I don't shell out money based on what I can afford. I pay based on the value of the service provided.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#19 Apr 3, 2013
LW1: This news is not going to go over well, considering that you've basically been lying to her for years. I think if you love her like you say you do, you'll figure out a way to get over your disgust.

LW2: Airplanes, skype, meeting in Hawaii. All kinds of options, other than pissing and moaning.

LW3: "...spiritual artifacts..."

This made me laugh. Yeah, they're really gonna want the feather you found in the woods.
tiredofit

Los Angeles, CA

#20 Apr 3, 2013
I am a generous tipper. But I disagree on tipping for tattoos and such. This is a one time "art" work. They charge a lot and it is not an ongoing maintenance thing like getting your hair done or food service.

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