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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 Nov 6, 2012
DEAR ABBY: I have a close friend who is obsessed with selling "finds" on eBay. I often give her little items that she has mentioned she liked -- or outright asked for. I always thought she wanted to keep them for herself. Recently I saw some of the things I gave her for sale under her eBay account.

I am dismayed that she is taking advantage of my generosity to make a few bucks. No, she is not desperate. And no, I don't feel comfortable saying something unless it's clever and I won't appear to be jealous or petty.-- TRACI IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR TRACI: You don't have to say anything clever. What you should do is tell your friend that you were hurt when you saw the items she had requested up for sale on her eBay account. Period. And in the future, be a little less generous about providing stock for her retail venture.

DEAR ABBY: Over the years, I have seen many letters from soon-to-be-brides asking if they should include their husband's sister or other female friend in their bridal party, even if they don't know them. There is a solution.

This summer, I was honored to be the best man at the wedding of a close friend. He had a female friend, "Liz," whom he wanted in the wedding party. Liz didn't know the bride, so instead of having her be a bridesmaid, Liz was a groomswoman. She stood in photos with the groomsmen, and even wore a matching outfit -- a lovely gray dress with a red ribbon to match our gray suits and red ties.-- BEST MAN IN REDMOND, WASH.

DEAR BEST MAN: That is certainly an appropriate solution to something that shouldn't be a problem in the first place. Women have also occasionally served in the capacity of "best man." I'm glad you mentioned it.

DEAR ABBY: I have seen letters in your column referring to not being invited to children's birthday parties and the hurt that follows. It's amazing to me that some adults have also never learned the importance of being sensitive to the feelings of others.

We recently moved into an established neighborhood where a group of adults go on trips, out to dinner, etc. I am old enough to realize that my husband and I will not be invited to everything. But I am not "old enough" not to feel a stab of pain and isolation when group plans are discussed in my presence and we are not invited.

Somewhere along the line, people need to learn not to discuss group activities in front of those who are not included. No one wants to feel left out.-- NEWCOMER TO MINNESOTA

DEAR NEWCOMER: You've said it well. While I don't think the offenders are being deliberately cruel, if people would think before opening their mouths, a lot of hurt feelings could be avoided.

DEAR ABBY: I'm just wondering what you and your readers think about this: If you see your doctor only once a year (or less if you are well), but you have been going to that doctor for five years or so, should that doctor remember you?-- LOUISE IN ARIZONA

DEAR LOUISE: It depends on the volume of patients the doctor has in his (or her) practice. However, before seeing you, the doctor should certainly familiarize himself (or herself) with your file so you are not being seen "cold."

Since: Mar 09

United States

#2 Nov 6, 2012
L1: One-up her. Start an eBay account of your own and sell your own crap.

L2: You're the first person in the worl to ever have this idea! Not.

Since: Mar 09

United States

#3 Nov 6, 2012
L3: call the whambulence.

L4: My doctor who I only see once a year remembers me. I think she keeps good notes and reviews them before my appointment.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#5 Nov 6, 2012
1 Say nasty things about her on ebay and nobody will trust her.

2 How about suggesting adults act like adults and not get their panties in a wad?

3 See #2

4 I dont remember my doctor, why should he remember me?

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#6 Nov 6, 2012
L1: I have some stuff of relatively decent value. I asked a friend if she'd sell it all on ebay (she buys and sells stuff on ebay, just clothes and baby stuff) and we'd split the revenue. She wasn't interested. Darn.

L2: You're the first people to ever realize that the bridal party doesn't have to follow gender lines. Congratulations.

L3: Or you can grow the hell up and realize some people make plans that don't include newbies. My goodness.

L4: My doctor seems to remember me. I guess I don't care much, as i don't have need to go to the doctor regularly, which is good.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#7 Nov 6, 2012
I have a clock that was my dad's. Like this, sort of:

http://www.ehow.com/how_6396598_instructions-...

I'm thinking of asking my mom if it's okay to give it to my cousin, who is my dad's godson and he really liked my dad -- and they shared a birthday. I figure, if he gets it when I die, he'll be old himself, so if I give it to him now, he'll have 40+ years to enjoy it, and he'll have kids/grandkids to pass it on to, who may be interested because it's something they knew their dad/grandpa liked.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#8 Nov 6, 2012
RACE wrote:
1 Say nasty things about her on ebay and nobody will trust her.
Heh. Give her negative reviews!

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#9 Nov 6, 2012
I had no idea people were too stupid to know how to wind a clock....
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
I have a clock that was my dad's. Like this, sort of:
http://www.ehow.com/how_6396598_instructions-...
I'm thinking of asking my mom if it's okay to give it to my cousin, who is my dad's godson and he really liked my dad -- and they shared a birthday. I figure, if he gets it when I die, he'll be old himself, so if I give it to him now, he'll have 40+ years to enjoy it, and he'll have kids/grandkids to pass it on to, who may be interested because it's something they knew their dad/grandpa liked.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#10 Nov 6, 2012
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Heh. Give her negative reviews!
you have to conduct a transaction woth someone to be able to give the a review.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#11 Nov 6, 2012
RACE wrote:
I had no idea people were too stupid to know how to wind a clock....
<quoted text>
What's this clock thing you speak of?

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#12 Nov 6, 2012
RACE wrote:
I had no idea people were too stupid to know how to wind a clock....
<quoted text>
The clock is somewhat complicated and very old, so I would need to look up the instructions as well.

Since: Oct 09

Wagner, SD

#13 Nov 6, 2012
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
L3: Or you can grow the hell up and realize some people make plans that don't include newbies. My goodness.
While I agree that people need to realize this, I don't think she expected to be included in everything. I think what she was getting at was that the plans were discussed in front of her when they and she knew she wasn't invited. Sorry, but that is definitely thoughtless and RUDE.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#14 Nov 6, 2012
Judge Janie wrote:
<quoted text>
While I agree that people need to realize this, I don't think she expected to be included in everything. I think what she was getting at was that the plans were discussed in front of her when they and she knew she wasn't invited. Sorry, but that is definitely thoughtless and RUDE.
Yeah. I don't think it's a big enough deal to write to Abby about, but I see where the LW is coming from. It's rude at 8 and it's rude at 38.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#15 Nov 6, 2012
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
Yeah. I don't think it's a big enough deal to write to Abby about, but I see where the LW is coming from. It's rude at 8 and it's rude at 38.
Right. So the solution, in my opinion, is to surround yourself with considerate people vs. rude people. A verbal spanking from Abby isn't going to do squat.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#16 Nov 6, 2012
If they were making plans in front of her, I'll concede that point. But I can see someone bring it up briefly. "Mary, before we go out of town on Friday, I need to come over and go over your list with you to make sure we don't duplicate stuff. Let's talk about that later." I can see those sort of comments being made in a group setting.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#17 Nov 6, 2012
What is the complicated part? You take the key and wind whatever shaft it fits (in a clock wise direction of course)
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
The clock is somewhat complicated and very old, so I would need to look up the instructions as well.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#18 Nov 6, 2012
mechanical device, replaced the hour glass.
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
What's this clock thing you speak of?

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#19 Nov 6, 2012
RACE wrote:
What is the complicated part? You take the key and wind whatever shaft it fits (in a clock wise direction of course)
<quoted text>
I got a grandfather clock when I got married -- it was cmoplicated. I'm not messing with time pieces that are older than I am.
Sam I Am

Memphis, TN

#20 Nov 6, 2012
1. Um, stop giving her stuff?!?!?!

2. Um, no.

3. Um, a "stab of pain and isolation?" Buck up.

4. Um, it depends how annoying you are. I am guessing your dr. can't get you out of his head.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#21 Nov 6, 2012
So, you do not wind it?
Is it one of those tall ones that you only have to pull the chains? Or a wind up with a key?

I have the clock IBM gave my father for 25yrs, it is a wind up one small mantle size, chimes every 1/4hr and gongs on the hour. I should probably take it to someone and have them tune it up.
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
I got a grandfather clock when I got married -- it was cmoplicated. I'm not messing with time pieces that are older than I am.

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