“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#22 Oct 30, 2012
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>This is not a parental teaching issue.. This is something wrong with the kid. By 4 1/2 a child has teh muscle control to control his sphincters and teh nerve endings to know when his bladder is full..
This is pathology
Yeah, but if nobody enforces it and he's not skeeved out by sitting in a soiled diaper, what's his motivation?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#23 Oct 30, 2012
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
Age 3ish. The commercial daycare my son was in as an infant didn't allow kids to move up to the preschool rooms until they were potty-trained. The private preschool we moved my son to at age 3 did not accept non-potty-trained kids at all because they were certified as a preschool, not an infant daycare.
Interesting sidenote:

The place my kids went(actually, 3 year old is still there) is set up just like school. Each age group is in its own class. Each group has its own classroom and they do teaching and structured learning activities, etc. But my dad, whenever it comes up in conversation, refers to it as "the babysitter".

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#24 Oct 30, 2012
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
Yeah, but if nobody enforces it and he's not skeeved out by sitting in a soiled diaper, what's his motivation?
Being made fun of by the other kids, hopefully. If THAT doesn't get to him either, something is up.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#25 Oct 30, 2012
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>This is not a parental teaching issue.. This is something wrong with the kid. By 4 1/2 a child has teh muscle control to control his sphincters and teh nerve endings to know when his bladder is full..
This is pathology
My younger one is doing a lot better at his age than the older one did. As I mentioned before, the older one's problem was not wanting to stop playing. Like he was gonna miss something. Can't remember for sure which birthday. Probably 3rd, but possibly 4th. Party at one of them kids indoor bounce house places. He's running around playing. I'm sitting down. Then I see him standing there. With a look. Uh oh! I run over to him and ask if he has to poop. He says yeah. I take a quick peek down the back of his pants. Don't see nothing. I rush him to the bathroom. Run into the still and yank his pants down. AAARRRRGGHHHHHH! He had already crapped his pants. I didn't see anyhing when I peek down the back cause he was standing when he crapped his pants. Not visible from where I was looking. Crap on the floor. Crap on my hand. crap on his clothes. Thank God my dad walked to see how things were going( he saw me run him to the bathroom). Had to get him to go find my wife and the diaper bag(even though we were past diapers). She still had wipes and a change of clothes. She came into the boys room and helped me clean up the mess.

Once he became potty trained, all accidents revolved around not wanting to stop playing until it was too late.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#26 Oct 30, 2012
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>This is not a parental teaching issue.. This is something wrong with the kid. By 4 1/2 a child has teh muscle control to control his sphincters and teh nerve endings to know when his bladder is full..
This is pathology
No, this IS parenting. THey absolutely are hands-off parents who don't think not being potty trained is a big deal. This kid is BAD and tries to get the other kids to do things to get into trouble. He has shitty parents.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#27 Oct 30, 2012
I'm calling bullsh!t on this "school's can't teach morals" thing.

Lulu's school has posters in every hallway with the 3 B's on it:

Be respectful
Be responsible
Be ready to learn

They work on these things as part of their regular curriculum. Lulu came home last Friday with a button on her shirt that said "Bully Free Starts With Me" and she was so proud of it.

They give out awards and play money for good behavior. They can get them from any teacher or admin staff and if the class as a whole gets a certain amount, they get a dance or pizza party and can spend the play money on books or other little toys.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#28 Oct 30, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
hmmm....
I remember being read to. I read to my kids.
I remember being helped with homework. I help my kid with homework.
Museums? Don't remember ever going to a museum. Never taken my kid to one.
Library? Never got taken to one by my parents. Only taken my kid to one cause they have DVD's.
Nature walks? WTF is that? Is that like walking through the monkey habitat at Disney's Animal Kingdom?
I think it really depends so much on the child, in terms of what is needed. They can be so different.

Nature walks ... I went on those on my own with my dog and my bro, probably starting at age 8 or so. We went to museums and zoos, but mostly with school. Library, rarely went to that and even then it was with school, I think.

I was the last of 5. I don't remember being read to much. I don't remember being helped with homework much. Big projects, sure, but other than that, I did my own thing, but I didnít do much. I had siblings that struggled more than me in school and things just seemed to come to me very easily to me, perhaps that's why - as parents I think you tend to put your resources and time where they are needed.

Not every child is like that, however. My middle son is so easy. He's more like me, in that he just gets things and isn't high maintenance, but also more like his mother in that he works hard at his studies. We never have a problem with him doing well in school or coming home and doing his homework.

Whereas my middle son is low maintenance, my youngest needs a lot of hand holding. It's kind of frustrating for me, because I didn't even like doing homework for myself when I was in school and never really developed those habits, but we have to be so involved with him.
Sam I Am

Knoxville, TN

#29 Oct 30, 2012
"A teacher is a counselor, doctor, social worker and behavioral specialist all in one." Whoa, whoa, whoa. I have several friends who are teachers, and I love them to pieces, but let's go a little easy on the hyperbole. I get the point the LW is trying to make, but it's a little pet peeve of mine when people try to make a point by exaggerating/excessively glorifying.
PEllen

Chicago, IL

#30 Oct 30, 2012
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
No, this IS parenting. THey absolutely are hands-off parents who don't think not being potty trained is a big deal. This kid is BAD and tries to get the other kids to do things to get into trouble. He has shitty parents.
There are some bodily functions that any animal learns. Sphincter control is one of them.At a minimum, the kid would have imprinted on one of the parents and seen what they do and imitated it even without direct teaching.

The cats do this. My cats have done this.

If by 4 1/2 a child is not doing able to control his bladder and bowel there is something more going on that lack of parental teaching. I'll gve you that the issue may be with the parents as well, but there is something wrong with the kid.
PEllen

Chicago, IL

#31 Oct 30, 2012
squishymama wrote:
I'm calling bullsh!t on this "school's can't teach morals" thing.
Lulu's school has posters in every hallway with the 3 B's on it:
Be respectful
Be responsible
Be ready to learn
They work on these things as part of their regular curriculum. Lulu came home last Friday with a button on her shirt that said "Bully Free Starts With Me" and she was so proud of it.
They give out awards and play money for good behavior. They can get them from any teacher or admin staff and if the class as a whole gets a certain amount, they get a dance or pizza party and can spend the play money on books or other little toys.
Those are good, but those are behaviors, not morals

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#32 Oct 30, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
hmmm....
I remember being read to. I read to my kids.
I remember being helped with homework. I help my kid with homework.
Museums? Don't remember ever going to a museum. Never taken my kid to one.
Library? Never got taken to one by my parents. Only taken my kid to one cause they have DVD's.
Nature walks? WTF is that? Is that like walking through the monkey habitat at Disney's Animal Kingdom?
Geez, I'm feeling like the Best Parent Ever.

We read almost every night; it's part of Lulu's homework.

I sit with Lulu while she does her homework, but right now it's pretty easy and she rarely needs my help.

I had a great aunt that took me to the Art Institute at least once a quarter. We've done the Museum of Science and Industry and Kohl's Children's Museum (many times!) and I know they went to some glass museum while they were in Ohio with the MIL (I think it was somehow associated with Corning). We go to the zoo every Christmas for Zoo Lights, but that's not quite the same thing...

And with my kids, a trip to the car becomes a nature walk. They notice all kinds of things and really like being able to tell you what kind of tree leaves we're kicking through.

I guess I should keep up the good work!
:D

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#33 Oct 30, 2012
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
Those are good, but those are behaviors, not morals
Being respectful isn't a moral?

I thought that the Golden Rule was the basis for all moral action, and isn't that basically what being respectful is?

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#34 Oct 30, 2012
Sam I Am wrote:
"A teacher is a counselor, doctor, social worker and behavioral specialist all in one." Whoa, whoa, whoa. I have several friends who are teachers, and I love them to pieces, but let's go a little easy on the hyperbole. I get the point the LW is trying to make, but it's a little pet peeve of mine when people try to make a point by exaggerating/excessively glorifying.
I agree.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#35 Oct 30, 2012
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>There are some bodily functions that any animal learns. Sphincter control is one of them.At a minimum, the kid would have imprinted on one of the parents and seen what they do and imitated it even without direct teaching.
The cats do this. My cats have done this.
If by 4 1/2 a child is not doing able to control his bladder and bowel there is something more going on that lack of parental teaching. I'll gve you that the issue may be with the parents as well, but there is something wrong with the kid.
Pe, he can control his butthole just fine. He pooped on the floor on purpose, to act out.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#36 Oct 30, 2012
Sam I Am wrote:
"A teacher is a counselor, doctor, social worker and behavioral specialist all in one." Whoa, whoa, whoa. I have several friends who are teachers, and I love them to pieces, but let's go a little easy on the hyperbole. I get the point the LW is trying to make, but it's a little pet peeve of mine when people try to make a point by exaggerating/excessively glorifying.
Right?

I was in kindergarten and I watched my classmate Paul puke all over a chair and the floor and then saw look on my teacher's face made me know that teaching was not in my future. I'm glad there are teachers, but unless you were homeschooled exclusively, you have to know kinda what you're getting in to.

Tangent to that tangent, I just found that teacher on Facebook. I'm glad she's still alive and I kind of want to friend her to tell her that story.
PEllen

Chicago, IL

#37 Oct 30, 2012
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
Pe, he can control his butthole just fine. He pooped on the floor on purpose, to act out.
The acting out by pooping in an inappropriate place is the pathology. Unless the entire family poops in the corner... or a plastic bag like that hoarder last week

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#38 Oct 30, 2012
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
Right?
I was in kindergarten and I watched my classmate Paul puke all over a chair and the floor and then saw look on my teacher's face made me know that teaching was not in my future. I'm glad there are teachers, but unless you were homeschooled exclusively, you have to know kinda what you're getting in to.
Tangent to that tangent, I just found that teacher on Facebook. I'm glad she's still alive and I kind of want to friend her to tell her that story.
You can send her a private message without friending her.
PEllen

Chicago, IL

#39 Oct 30, 2012
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
Being respectful isn't a moral?
I thought that the Golden Rule was the basis for all moral action, and isn't that basically what being respectful is?
Morals are the underlying principles which are expresse verbally or by actions. School can teach teh actions, but the parents shoudl be teaching teh underlying principles.

Being respectful is good.
Why you should be respectful, of whom and of what is the parents job to teach.

Correction of words and actions that are not respectful is the job of the adult with the kid at the time.
That could be Mom,Dad,Granmother, etc
It could be the teacher
It could be the village which it takes to raise that kid.

Butteaching the underlying principle needs to come fom the family unit.

Clearly other people think differently than I do about this.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#40 Oct 30, 2012
Lazy, bad parents just screw the rest of us over, along with their kids.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#41 Oct 30, 2012
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
You can send her a private message without friending her.
Oh, yeah!

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