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pde

Davis Junction, IL

#41 Apr 23, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't know what "exactly" I would do, but what I WOULDN'T do is just sit back and allow it to happen.
So, basically you'd have the type of controlling temper tantrum that's all but guaranteed to push away your child.

Although, I suspect any kid you'd try to raise would be out the door as soon as he turned 18 anyhow.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#42 Apr 23, 2013
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
Or they've realized that you have no more control over them than they allow you to have.
Then you've failed as a parent.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#43 Apr 23, 2013
pde wrote:
So, basically you'd have the type of controlling temper tantrum that's all but guaranteed to push away your child.
Not at all. Don't know how you even came to such a nonsensical conclusion.
pde wrote:
Although, I suspect any kid you'd try to raise would be out the door as soon as he turned 18 anyhow.
Well, you'd suspect wrong. I've had 18 yr olds begging to move back in with me.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#44 Apr 23, 2013
pde wrote:
Or they've realized that you have no more control over them than they allow you to have.
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Then you've failed as a parent.
Hah! You've failed as a parent if your grown ass kids realize mom and dad can't control them? You really do live in some alternate world.

The minute I moved away to college, my parents control over me diminished drastically. The minute they were no longer financially supporting me, they had zero control over me.

You call that being a failure. I call that raising an independent self-supporting human being.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#45 Apr 23, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Not at all. Don't know how you even came to such a nonsensical conclusion.
<quoted text>
Well, you'd suspect wrong. I've had 18 yr olds begging to move back in with me.
Right. An 18 year old that got kicked out of her house, that you didn't raise, that followed none of your house rules, brought her bf over to sleep with her, and "drank your milk". Perfect comparison.

Oh, then there's her lying to you about where she was going because she didn't think it was any of your business. That's probably the best example of what edogg jr will be doing.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#46 Apr 23, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
Hah! You've failed as a parent if your grown ass kids realize mom and dad can't control them?
Why are you making this about control? Since when is trying to prevent some gay creeper from sniffing up your son's tree an attempt to "control" your son?
pde

Davis Junction, IL

#47 Apr 23, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Then you've failed as a parent.
If your adult child is an independent and thinking human being, you've failed as a parent?

I am a completely different person from either of my parents, with completely different values and ideals. I have lived my life according to my values and ideals, and not their values and ideals, starting at a younger age than 18. I don't think that either they or I feel that they failed as parents: in fact, I think they succeeded brilliantly. They seem to like me as an adult too, even though there are certain things we do not discuss and they would never offer me their opinions on.
pde

Davis Junction, IL

#48 Apr 23, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Why are you making this about control? Since when is trying to prevent some gay creeper from sniffing up your son's tree an attempt to "control" your son?
You're attempting to control who your adult son has as a friend. You have no control over the person your son is allowing to be his friend, and very little control over the over-18 person who is your son.

Well, again, unless you want the person who is not your son to end up getting a restraining order against you or something. And I don't think that'll put you in good odor with your son.

You're like the mothers who criticize the girls their sons date. All you're likely to end up doing is driving the son closer to the person you're criticizing. Which is kind of the worst idea possible if you really think the person is bad for your son.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#49 Apr 24, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Then you've failed as a parent.
I don't think so. Part of them not listening is the way things go when they're trying things on their own. They're going to make mistakes unless they are very, very lucky. Sometimes being a good parent is allowing your kids (young adult and otherwise) make mistakes and be there when they realize their mistake.

At 19 and 20 they most likely could do with some parental counselling. Doesn't mean they're going to listen and you have no recourse if they don't listen. You have to realize that going in.

Think back. How many times did you think when you were younger -- "I can't wait until I'm 18 and do what I want"? Of course, when you get to 18 you start to realize it doesn't quite work out that way. There is a learning curve to these things -- for both sides.
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#50 Apr 24, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Sub, the guy in LW2 is lying. His marriage isn't ending. He's just feeding stupid LW a bunch of lines to get into her pants.
And even if he and his wife split up, the LW has to knwo that if he'll do it WITH you he'll do it TO you.

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