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1 - 20 of 30 Comments Last updated Jan 21, 2013
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dahgts

Chicago, IL

#1 Jan 21, 2013
DEAR ABBY: During the late 1950s I was married to the prettiest girl I ever set eyes on. "Jenny" and I were in our early 20s and naive. Back then, it wasn't considered "manly" to talk over anything that might be bothering you, so there was little to no communication. Consequently, we weren't able to meet each other's emotional or sexual needs. After 18 years and two sons, we divorced.

Thirty-five years later, divine providence intervened and our paths have crossed again. Jenny and I are now talking, laughing, crying and loving together. Abby, please remind your readers that if they are having problems in their marriage to sit down and talk things over, with a counselor if necessary. Because we couldn't do that, we lost 35 years of good times.

We now see that neither of us ever lost that strong love we had for each other. She is still the prettiest grandmother I have ever laid eyes on. I never stopped loving her, and we have never been as happy as we are now.-- OLDER BUT WISER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR OLDER BUT WISER: What you lost so many years ago you and Jenny have gained in life experience. Communication is the key to successful relationships, and I'm pleased that you have achieved it now. Your letter is an important one, and I hope my readers will take it to heart. May you both enjoy many more happy years together.

DEAR ABBY: How does one send a thank-you note for a really, really bad "re-gift"? This Christmas I received a battered box with old, wrinkled, ripped tissue paper thrown in with a couple of items that appeared to be part of another gift. It looked like a food gift basket had been divided and piecemealed out to make more gifts.
It is hurtful and insulting to be on the receiving end of something that's not even "giftworthy." I say, why bother at all. Please advise.-- ANONY-MISS OUT WEST

DEAR ANONY-MISS: The person may have felt obligated to give you something and been strapped for money for gifts. A gracious way to respond would be to thank the individual for thinking of you at such a meaningful time as Christmas. You do not have to lie and say the gift was "fabulous."

DEAR ABBY: I work in an office with a woman who is a grandmother. She's very sweet but tends to get sick several times a year. As the mother of younger children, I have learned the "new school rules" on illness, like coughing or sneezing into your arm instead of your hand in an effort not to spread germs.

It seems my co-worker never got that memo, and I can't think of a tactful way to spread the message. Because cold and flu season is here, could you remind all your readers that this is a good preventative measure to reduce the spread of germs. Thanks!-- TRYING TO STAY HEALTHY IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR TRYING: Consider it done. However, a tactful way to get the word out would be to ask your boss or your supervisor to send a memo around the office -- and provide anti-bacterial wipes so that shared equipment and door and cabinet knobs can be sanitized after a sick employee uses them.

DEAR READERS: Today we remember the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., who was martyred in the cause of civil rights in 1968. His words ring as true today as when he first uttered them: "We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope." His was a voice of reason in a time of insanity, silenced too soon.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#2 Jan 21, 2013
1, well, gollllly buckaroo! So you finally learned to use your words and now the sex is better than ever.

2 amby is right, say thanks for the gift amen.

3 Send her the mythbusters episode, funny gross!

4 Yeah, his voice was silenced too soon, and now we have the cackling of the devil al and jessy gimmy trying to portray themselves a s that voice. Truly sad.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#3 Jan 21, 2013
"No!" to antibacterial wipes. that antibacterial crap is overused and is playing a role in the development of superbugs.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#4 Jan 21, 2013
Yes, it's sad that Dr. King was murdered when he still had much work to do, but his death was the catalyst that got the Fair Housing Act passed, so his death did a very good thing.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#5 Jan 21, 2013
What a complete waste of a column.

1) Dumbass with no question
2) Dumbass with dumbass thank you card question
3) Dumbass know it all.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#6 Jan 21, 2013
L1: Thanks...?

L2: Was this gift handed to you in person or sent in the mail? If in person, you should have just verbally said thanks at the time and you'd be done. If in the mail, you can send an e-card. Does everyone write thank-you notes for every Christmas present? Seems like a waste during a time that gifts are EXCHANGED between people (as opposed to only one-way gifting, as in a birthday or wedding).

L3: What does her being a grandmother have to do with anything?

L4: Our office is closed today, but here I sit, all by myself....

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

#7 Jan 21, 2013
1 Good for you. Now go get your freak on with your GILF.

2 Whatever....

3 Son of Whatever....

4 Thanks for the PSA....

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#8 Jan 21, 2013
LW2: Just toss it in the trash and move on.

LW3: STFU

Since: Mar 09

Pittsburgh, PA

#9 Jan 21, 2013
j_m_w wrote:
L3: What does her being a grandmother have to do with anything?
She's exposed to little kid illnesses and is carrying them into her workplace, but she hasn't gotten the word on sneezing/coughing into your elbow instead of your hand (because she's not the one getting notes from the school, or accompanying the kids to pediatrician appointments)!

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#10 Jan 21, 2013
Sweet! Henry Rollins is coming to town!

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#11 Jan 21, 2013
Lol, wrong thread. Meant to put that under 'regs'.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#12 Jan 21, 2013
VAdame wrote:
<quoted text>
She's exposed to little kid illnesses and is carrying them into her workplace, but she hasn't gotten the word on sneezing/coughing into your elbow instead of your hand (because she's not the one getting notes from the school, or accompanying the kids to pediatrician appointments)!
Does she sterilize every dollar bill she touches or any coins? Does she sterilize her hand after every door she opens? What about after touching a gas pump? What about every time she touches the handle on a gallon of milk (someone had to put it in the fridge at teh store after all). What about after she grabs a box of cereal ... someone had to put in on the shelf ... think their hand were germ free? Unless you have OCD and are going to sterilize your hands 15 to 20 times a day on top of regular washing, you are exposed to germs all the time.

If you are so OCD about germs the thing to do is to wash your hands all the time and use hand sanitizer frequently (and frankly too sanitary of an environment is a bad thing), instead of lecturing folks. There are just too many folks to educate ... never going to happen. Why pick on this one lady. The LW sounds like a total pain in the a$s.

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#13 Jan 21, 2013
I agree with Red. Those hand sanitizers might do OK in a pinch but are otherwise over-rated. Aside from handwashing, my understanding is that you are better off using isopropyl alcohol straight out of the bottle to help fight germs, but that can dry out the skin if used too often.
None-the-less, I still try not to touch communal items. And I will wear gloves on the rare occasion that I might have to pump gas or touch something some other scumbag might have used before me.
Sam I Am

Knoxville, TN

#14 Jan 21, 2013
1. "Divine providence intervened?" Yak. Yes, talking is good. Would you like a piece of hard candy?

2. Depends if you think they were being cheap or if they simply did not have the means to do more. I would likely stick with the "Thanks for thinking of me" and leave it at that.

3. Hopefully your office can just send out a friendly email reminder along the lines of "Since bugs are going around, we've placed hand sanitizer around the office for your convenience. Please do your part to maintain the health of the office."

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#15 Jan 21, 2013
I have heard that in some cultures it is common to wash your hands "before" you go to the bathroom, not after.
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Does she sterilize every dollar bill she touches or any coins? Does she sterilize her hand after every door she opens? What about after touching a gas pump? What about every time she touches the handle on a gallon of milk (someone had to put it in the fridge at teh store after all). What about after she grabs a box of cereal ... someone had to put in on the shelf ... think their hand were germ free? Unless you have OCD and are going to sterilize your hands 15 to 20 times a day on top of regular washing, you are exposed to germs all the time.
If you are so OCD about germs the thing to do is to wash your hands all the time and use hand sanitizer frequently (and frankly too sanitary of an environment is a bad thing), instead of lecturing folks. There are just too many folks to educate ... never going to happen. Why pick on this one lady. The LW sounds like a total pain in the a$s.
pde

Homer Glen, IL

#16 Jan 21, 2013
LW3: My kid has been "educated" in the ways of sneezing or coughing into your elbow instead of your hand ... and what it results in is gross stuff on the sleeve that kids ignore and spread about rather than gross stuff on their hands that they want to go wipe or wash off.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#17 Jan 21, 2013
RACE wrote:
I have heard that in some cultures it is common to wash your hands "before" you go to the bathroom, not after.
<quoted text>
I work in a professional building ... corporate headquarters. You should see how many men, who use the urinal either don't wash their hands or just rinse them with water. I always wash my hands, but now imagine all the door knobs they touch walking back to their office. Now I have to touch those door knobs too on my way back to my office. I may as well just ask them if they need help shaking it when they are done. Pigs.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#18 Jan 21, 2013
L1: Good for you. I would think most people do know about counselling in this day and age.

L2: Abby's right.

L3: Whatever. What grosses me out are people that do not wash their hands after using the restroom. There's one particular person at work who continually would use my hand lotion. I gave it to her b/c I could not use it after her. Grossed me out. She smells, too. I think she rarely showers.

L4: He was a great man.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#19 Jan 21, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
Sweet! Henry Rollins is coming to town!
Passiveaggressivenotes.com had a great post of a record store sign that mentioned the Clash and GG allin.

I'd never heard of GG Allin. I recommend reading his short wiki entry (died in 1993 of a heroin overdose).

As part of his act, the guy ate shit, wiped it on himself, threw shit at audiences, physically attacked fans/audience members. He died in late June of a heroin overdose after a show, covered in shit.

"At his funeral, Allin's bloated, discolored corpse was dressed in his black leather jacket and trademark jock strap. He had a bottle of Jim Beam beside him in his casket, per his wishes (openly stated in his self-penned acoustic country ballad, "When I Die"). As part of his brother's request, the mortician was instructed not to wash the corpse (which smelled strongly of feces), or apply any makeup."

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#20 Jan 21, 2013
Oh: Died in late june, but the funeral was July 3. So that explains the "bloated, discolored corpse."

A coworker just google imaged him and the picture of him int he casket was right there. jockstrap and all.

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