First Prev
of 2
Next Last

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 May 23, 2014
DEAR ABBY: My spouse and I, after many long years of school, advanced degrees and work in the corporate world, are now retired. We are (we hope) financially secure.

Both of us have siblings who were less successful for various reasons. What obligation do hardworking people have toward their less successful siblings, especially one who has been a freeloader his entire life?

"Rusty" sponged off his aging parents to keep from having to earn a decent living. We feel sorry for him, but it's the bed he made for himself years ago when he took shortcuts. We're afraid if we give him a hand, he'll expect an arm next time.

As far as I'm concerned, only Rusty's laziness prevents him from getting a part-time job to help pay the bills. If we give him money, we'll have to do it for the other siblings on both sides.

I know this sounds uncharitable, but we worked for 40 years and struggled through everything life had to throw at us. We saved every penny we could and invested wisely. How do we deal with family members who can take care of themselves, but don't?-- ANONYMOUS IN AMERICA

DEAR ANONYMOUS: You decide on a case-by-case basis, unless all of your family members are like Rusty. And if they are, you sympathize, but don't subsidize.

DEAR ABBY: Most of my childhood was spent with my grandparents, who raised me until I moved out at 21. I have always regarded them as my true parents because they were always there for me.

My biological parents were also a part of my life. I would visit them on weekends. I love them, too, and appreciate that they allowed me to have a stable childhood with my grandparents.

I am engaged to be married next summer, and I need to decide who should walk me down the aisle. I'd like my grandfather to have that honor, but I don't want to hurt my father by not asking him to do it.

What should I do when the time comes to make the decision?-- NAMELESS IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR NAMELESS: Consider asking both of them to walk you down the aisle. I'm sure it would touch not only their hearts, but also those of your guests to see you honor your grandfather, who was your "weekDAY father," as well as your dad, your "weekEND father."

DEAR ABBY: Organized religion has caused me many difficulties throughout my life. I would like to distance myself from it as much as possible. I consider myself a "religious independent." I believe in God, but I don't believe organized religion has anything to do with God.

My question concerns my funeral. Since a funeral is an organized religious ceremony, is it possible to have one without clergy being present? Have you heard of anything like this, and what would you suggest?-- WASHINGTON, D.C., READER

DEAR READER: Instead of a funeral, many people choose to have a "celebration of life," independent from religion. Make sure your family and friends understand your wishes, then talk to a funeral home director and make pre-planning arrangements.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#2 May 23, 2014
1- Didn't we just have this letter? Same advice

2- I say your grandfather

3- Ya know, I'm kinda irked by this attitude. "I'm religious but I hate religion." I think these are the people that want to pick and choose which parts of religion they like or not. What's that called? Ala-cart christians or something? Like people who claim to be catholics yet support gay marriage and abortion. You might be on the side of whatever the popular flavor of the month is, but in the end, you still have to answer to God

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#3 May 23, 2014
L3. God never read the Bible. He didn't write it either.
He doesn't have time for that silly nonsense.

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#4 May 23, 2014
Don't piss me off or I will come back swinging

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#5 May 23, 2014
Allah did not write the Koran either.
They are both products of man's wild and overactive imagination.

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#6 May 23, 2014
I am sending up warning flares right now.
Do not make me mad.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#7 May 23, 2014
loose cannon wrote:
I am sending up warning flares right now.
Do not make me mad.
Who are you taking to?

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#8 May 23, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
1- Didn't we just have this letter? Same advice
2- I say your grandfather
3- Ya know, I'm kinda irked by this attitude. "I'm religious but I hate religion." I think these are the people that want to pick and choose which parts of religion they like or not. What's that called? Ala-cart christians or something? Like people who claim to be catholics yet support gay marriage and abortion. You might be on the side of whatever the popular flavor of the month is, but in the end, you still have to answer to God
1. I agree with Abby
2.Does your father get along with your grandfather? What about teh other grandfather, don't want to leave him out. Choose Both or neither. Ask your grandma.You don't need to be given away either. P.S.You are not mature enough to get married if this is something you are writing to Dear Abby about..
3 Dog, dog, dog (sigh).

"These are the people that want to pick and choose which parts of religion they like or not. What's that called?"

Protestant.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#9 May 23, 2014
PEllen wrote:
"These are the people that want to pick and choose which parts of religion they like or not. What's that called?"
Protestant.
Nice try. At least Protestants have a bit of consistency

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#10 May 23, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Who are you taking to?
Ever drive by a bus stop snd see someone all alone. Having a conversation. Its like that.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#11 May 23, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Ever drive by a bus stop and see someone all alone. Having a conversation. Its like that.
Perhaps in the past,but now I just assume they are on Bluetooth.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#12 May 23, 2014
He didn't have to, he chose others to do it for him.
loose cannon wrote:
L3. God never read the Bible. He didn't write it either.
He doesn't have time for that silly nonsense.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#13 May 23, 2014
LW1: Let the guy lie in the bed he made.

LW2: Ask them both.

LW3: Talk to the ethical humanists.
not a ghost

San Antonio, TX

#14 May 23, 2014
For LW1 if Rusty comes asking for money, tell him to scrub the toilet.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#15 May 23, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
3- Ya know, I'm kinda irked by this attitude. "I'm religious but I hate religion." I think these are the people that want to pick and choose which parts of religion they like or not. What's that called? Ala-cart christians or something? Like people who claim to be catholics yet support gay marriage and abortion. You might be on the side of whatever the popular flavor of the month is, but in the end, you still have to answer to God
Ya know, Buddhists believe that God resides in each person and as such, we should be treating each person like they're God.(And Christians should too, that's the Holy Ghost part of the Triolgy.)

So when you say that people will have to answer to God, remember that some of us try to do that while we're still living.
pde

Bothell, WA

#16 May 23, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Nice try. At least Protestants have a bit of consistency
Episcopalians and Southern Baptists are both Protestant denominations. About the only thing they have in common is that they are not part of the Catholic Church and thus do not answer to Rome.
blunt advice

Springfield, NJ

#17 May 23, 2014
1. Keep your money for yourselves. If if give any out ensure they will keep it confidential.
2. Grandfather should do it.
3. The funeral home director can conduct a service.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#18 May 23, 2014
Wonderful idea until you ask yourself why God would kill 6 million Jews.
How can you have free will if God is running around inside you?
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
Ya know, Buddhists believe that God resides in each person and as such, we should be treating each person like they're God.(And Christians should too, that's the Holy Ghost part of the Triolgy.)
So when you say that people will have to answer to God, remember that some of us try to do that while we're still living.

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#19 May 23, 2014
RACE wrote:
Wonderful idea until you ask yourself why God would kill 6 million Jews.
How can you have free will if God is running around inside you?
<quoted text>
You choose to let him live in you, hence your free will. Clearly, Hitler didn't make that choice!

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#20 May 23, 2014
RACE wrote:
Wonderful idea until you ask yourself why God would kill 6 million Jews.
How can you have free will if God is running around inside you?
<quoted text>
I am not a philospher or theologian, so I don't have a ready answer for you on either of those questions.

Personally, I feel that when any pogrom occurs, it's because one group has failed to see (or even search for) God in the other group. I don't know why this happens and all I can do is not make the same mistake in my own life and teach the same to my children.

But really I was pointing out to dog that his ideas on God and religion are not the only right answer forever and ever, amen.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Chicago Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
News Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 21 min John Galt 1,417,671
News BARACK OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE: Suit contesting... (Jan '09) 4 hr Grand Birther 222,343
Topix Chitown Regulars (Aug '09) 4 hr Go Blue Forever 103,437
last post wins! (Apr '13) 4 hr Hatti_Hollerand 1,448
News Israeli troops begin Gaza pullout as Hamas decl... (Jan '09) 4 hr Ize Found 70,939
{keep A word drop A word} (Oct '11) 5 hr They cannot kill ... 9,371
Double Word Game (Dec '11) 5 hr They cannot kill ... 3,023

Chicago Jobs

More from around the web

Personal Finance

Chicago Mortgages