Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#21 Dec 11, 2013
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
Sort of.
As I see it, she has two reasons not to like it:
1) bad experience with a pot-smoking person, like a parent or sibling.
2) on principal, because she heard it's "bad".
If her reason is 1, then Amy can't help her. That's something she has to work out for herself.
If her reason is 2, then she needs to evaluate the actual situation and know that most people do not see pot-smoking as all that harmful.
It really sounds like she's standing on some principal that reality has shown might not be as important as she originally thought.
Let me preface that I have no problem with people who occassionally smoke pot...

But maybe she's just the type of person who wants to be with someone that is sober and "present" 100% of the time. I can understand that, though it wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't an every day thing (just as I wouldn't want someone that had to drink beer every day). It's just that she has to make that decision as to what she can tolerate.
Kuuipo

Marina, CA

#22 Dec 11, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Reason #3: Its illegal, and regardless of how harmless it may be, the illegality could be the big deal for her. I don't have a problem with pot, but I don't partake. The biggest reason is the law. And some companies drug test, so it could also be detrimental to my career.
Yup. I had to pass a drug test to get this job. And I wouldn't want to lose it, so I don't partake. It's not worth it.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#23 Dec 11, 2013
So, the only reason you dont smoke is because it's illegal? The drug testing I could see, but how does that work in states where it is legal? How can a corporation say we will drug test, but only in states where it's illegal?
And while we are on the point, isnt the possession part illegal, not the smoking part?

if no testing, and not illegal would you smoke?
I dont do it either, beer is my drug of choice, but I dont not do it for any specific reason other than being high is not my thing.
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Reason #3: Its illegal, and regardless of how harmless it may be, the illegality could be the big deal for her. I don't have a problem with pot, but I don't partake. The biggest reason is the law. And some companies drug test, so it could also be detrimental to my career.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#24 Dec 11, 2013
RACE wrote:
So, the only reason you dont smoke is because it's illegal? The drug testing I could see, but how does that work in states where it is legal? How can a corporation say we will drug test, but only in states where it's illegal?
And while we are on the point, isnt the possession part illegal, not the smoking part?
if no testing, and not illegal would you smoke?
I dont do it either, beer is my drug of choice, but I dont not do it for any specific reason other than being high is not my thing.
<quoted text>
if it were not illegal and not a threat to my employment, then this is no different than asking me if I'd smoke a cigarrette or have a beer. I currently do not smoke and I drink infrequently. I have no idea how much, little, or at all I'd smoke weed. But as it stands right now, I would not even consider it primarily because its against the law.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#25 Dec 11, 2013
Chicken!
:)
I get this mental of you finally trying it, and "Cops" come busting down you door, your little pugs going crazy, while dudes with flack vests rifle thru your house!
(bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do?)
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>if it were not illegal and not a threat to my employment, then this is no different than asking me if I'd smoke a cigarrette or have a beer. I currently do not smoke and I drink infrequently. I have no idea how much, little, or at all I'd smoke weed. But as it stands right now, I would not even consider it primarily because its against the law.
liner

Brooklyn, NY

#26 Dec 11, 2013
Blunt Advice wrote:
Good advice above everyone. Just curious.... is it common for couples with adult children to bring them along when they go out?
2. If you are that against pot smoking then this is not a guy you should be in an exclusive relationship with.
3. Myob.
Figures....it takes a guy from Brooklyn with common sense!
My kids wouldn't be caught dead going out to dinner with us after they were about 18 or so.
By the way, what's with "gender queer"? Sounds like plain old queer to me.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#27 Dec 11, 2013
Blunt Advice wrote:
Just curious.... is it common for couples with adult children to bring them along when they go out?
I don't think it's entirely UNcommon. Especially if the adult children still live at home. I'm sure they're not tagging along with mom and dad every weekend the parents meet up with their friends, but this particular friend *invited* the children along.

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#28 Dec 11, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Reason #3: Its illegal, and regardless of how harmless it may be, the illegality could be the big deal for her. I don't have a problem with pot, but I don't partake. The biggest reason is the law. And some companies drug test, so it could also be detrimental to my career.
We don't know for sure it is illegal where the LW is. Odds are for it being against the law, but even then, for how long? It is legal in a couple states now, and ignored (misdemeanor ticket'n'take it) or partially legal (the states with medical exceptions) in many others.
Personally, I think she should tell him it's a deal breaker and let him find someone less rigid in their attitudes about a plant that is less dangerous than the legal drugs (nicotine and alcohol) available to the public now.
He can do better.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#29 Dec 11, 2013
NWmoon wrote:
He can do better.
So can she. Good thing your husband has no morals, eh?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#30 Dec 11, 2013
NWmoon wrote:
<quoted text>We don't know for sure it is illegal where the LW is. Odds are for it being against the law, but even then, for how long? It is legal in a couple states now, and ignored (misdemeanor ticket'n'take it) or partially legal (the states with medical exceptions) in many others.
Personally, I think she should tell him it's a deal breaker and let him find someone less rigid in their attitudes about a plant that is less dangerous than the legal drugs (nicotine and alcohol) available to the public now.
He can do better.
But what if her rigid attitude is not over the plant, but over the law?

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#31 Dec 11, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text> But what if her rigid attitude is not over the plant, but over the law?
Unless she shows up here to tell us, we'll never know.
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#32 Dec 12, 2013
RACE wrote:
Chicken!
:)
I get this mental of you finally trying it, and "Cops" come busting down you door, your little pugs going crazy, while dudes with flack vests rifle thru your house!
(bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do?)
<quoted text>
I really, REALLY hate it when someone says, "Chicken!" It probably comes from my childhood when some other kid(s) would say that to try to make me do something I didn't want to do either because I WAS scared or because I knew it was the wrong thing to do. I dislike it immensely when someone uses that expression to encourage someone to do something they wouldn't otherwise want to do. I'm not saying it's evil or that I would dislike the person saying it. I simply have extremely negative "vibes" when I hear it - even if the person saying it is only teasing and is not seriously expecting or wanting the other person do follow through. Goes to show how childhood experiences can linger into old age.

I really have to agree with Mister Tonka on this one.

“I looked, and behold,”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#33 Dec 12, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text> But what if her rigid attitude is not over the plant, but over the law?
Sounds like he just smokes it occasionally on the weekend with friends who have it. She doesn't say he even buys it.

Under such circumstances, how likely is it that he going to get in trouble with the law? Do you think the cops are going to kick down the door and raid the place over a quarter or an ounce?

The people who get in trouble for smoking weed are almost always much more than casual weekend smokers (like growers or dealers), not folks who don't even buy it (from the sounds of it) or they are stupid and reckless.

The law is only a concern if you get caught. If you make it almost impossible to get caught, by not being stupid, I fail to see why it should concern her so much.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#34 Dec 12, 2013
Which is why I said it!
Pippa wrote:
<quoted text>
I really, REALLY hate it when someone says, "Chicken!" It probably comes from my childhood when some other kid(s) would say that to try to make me do something I didn't want to do either because I WAS scared or because I knew it was the wrong thing to do. I dislike it immensely when someone uses that expression to encourage someone to do something they wouldn't otherwise want to do. I'm not saying it's evil or that I would dislike the person saying it. I simply have extremely negative "vibes" when I hear it - even if the person saying it is only teasing and is not seriously expecting or wanting the other person do follow through. Goes to show how childhood experiences can linger into old age.
I really have to agree with Mister Tonka on this one.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#35 Dec 12, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Sounds like he just smokes it occasionally on the weekend with friends who have it. She doesn't say he even buys it.
Under such circumstances, how likely is it that he going to get in trouble with the law? Do you think the cops are going to kick down the door and raid the place over a quarter or an ounce?
The people who get in trouble for smoking weed are almost always much more than casual weekend smokers (like growers or dealers), not folks who don't even buy it (from the sounds of it) or they are stupid and reckless.
The law is only a concern if you get caught. If you make it almost impossible to get caught, by not being stupid, I fail to see why it should concern her so much.
She does not say he doesn't but it either, so he's just as likely as his friends to be the buyer. No, they are not gonna come kock in his door to bust him for weed, but what about when he's buying? I picture some street corner deal on a bad corner in town.

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#36 Dec 12, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>She does not say he doesn't but it either, so he's just as likely as his friends to be the buyer. No, they are not gonna come kock in his door to bust him for weed, but what about when he's buying? I picture some street corner deal on a bad corner in town.
Delivery service. Doesn't everyone have it?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#37 Dec 12, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
but what about when he's buying? I picture some street corner deal on a bad corner in town.
Your naivete is humorous. It's understandable because you don't swim in that circle, but, most people don't buy their weed off a street corner in the bad side of town. Either one of your friends is a dealer, or KNOWS a dealer, and you get it that way.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#38 Dec 12, 2013
NWmoon wrote:
<quoted text>Delivery service. Doesn't everyone have it?
Guess not everyone is as privileged as you. That's why you're so much better than us.

“I looked, and behold,”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#39 Dec 12, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>She does not say he doesn't but it either, so he's just as likely as his friends to be the buyer. No, they are not gonna come kock in his door to bust him for weed, but what about when he's buying? I picture some street corner deal on a bad corner in town.
Given how up tight she is about it, she'd most likely have mentioned that he buys it and drives to go get it.

A street corner deal, lol. I'm pretty sure the norm involves going to someone's house or someone swinging by your house... someone you know and often have known for a long time. I don't think you drive down the road looking for some guy standing out on a corner, unless you live in the projects, lmao.

In any case, if getting in trouble with the law is her motivation, she should factor whether it is even realistic that he's ever going to get caught. If he's not buying it and is only smoking when friends provide it to him, there's almost no chance he's going to get caught, unless he does something really stupid. Even if he is buying it, unless you are stupid about it, it's pretty hard to get in trouble.

Folks I know who have gotten busted were big time growers (and dumb too ... not a good idea to pistol whip some folks who stole some of your stash and rob them, including one guy who just happened to be with the two actual thieves ... didn't know why he got beat and robbed and went to the police ... that guy who I know is in prison) and I had a friend who got a ticket for having a pipe or one hitter on his center counsel of his car in plain site when he got pulled over for a speeding ticket. No one else I know has ever gotten in trouble with the law and I know a lot of people who do or have smoked regularly at one point in time in their life.

“I looked, and behold,”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#40 Dec 12, 2013
console, not counsel

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