First Prev
of 2
Next Last

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Mar 10, 2014
DEAR ABBY: I thought I was a healthy 40-year-old until I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. My doctor began treating it as a stand-alone condition, without considering that high blood pressure is a major risk factor for kidney disease.

At first, I wasn't even tested for kidney disease. But eventually, he gave me a urine test, and it was discovered that I had protein in my urine -- one of the earliest signs of kidney damage. Apparently, my high blood pressure had damaged my kidneys.

Healthy kidneys filter out wastes and toxins, but my kidneys' ability to do so began to decrease at an alarming rate. I continued to manage my blood pressure with medication and decided to make a few lifestyle changes, as well, that helped me avoid the progression of kidney disease to kidney failure.

I limited my salt intake, started eating more fruits, vegetables and whole grains, decreased the amount of meat I was eating and began swimming every day. I began to feel better, and when I went to the doctor, it turned out my kidney function had stabilized.

Please tell your readers that if they have high blood pressure they should be proactive and ask their doctor to check their kidneys. Early detection and lifestyle change can make a major impact on your health, as I have learned.-- DUANE SUNWOLD, SPOKANE, WASH.

DEAR DUANE: It is generous of you to share your medical history in an effort to caution my readers. The National Kidney Foundation urges everyone to learn about these vital organs and whether they might be at risk.

The three major risk factors for kidney disease are: high blood pressure, diabetes and a family history of kidney failure. People who have these risk factors should ask their doctor to check their kidney function with a simple blood and urine test.

Readers, March is National Kidney Month, and March 13 is World Kidney Day. If you are at risk, schedule an appointment with your doctor.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a member of the clergy who enjoys studying for my ministry and doctoral work at a local coffee shop. Three men who go there every day have found out that I'm a minister, and they each want to talk with me while I'm there. Although all three are members of the same religion, none of them is affiliated with a church.

I have invited them to visit my worship services, as well as call the office and set up an appointment with me. I have also tried to diplomatically explain that I go to the coffee shop to study. One of them ignores it, another appears hurt and the third one gets offended. When they're not around, I am productive. When they show up, they want me to be their chaplain.

Because of where I live, finding another coffee shop is not a viable option. How can I set a boundary with them and still do my studying there? Thank you.-- REVEREND KEN IN NEW YORK

DEAR REVEREND: Do it the same way doctors or lawyers do with people who approach them for "free" advice outside the office. As soon as you are approached, say firmly, "I'm studying right now. If you want to talk, please call my office and I'll schedule an appointment with you. Right now I'm busy." And then refuse to be intimidated by their reaction. Unless you draw the line, they'll suck you dry.
blunt advice

Hoboken, NJ

#2 Mar 10, 2014
Buy a coffee maker and study at home. Or bring your coffee to the library.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#3 Mar 10, 2014
1 Hurray for you

2 Oh cripes! Your upset because your a minister and you have to minister to people. Lord works in mysterious ways and all that

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#4 Mar 10, 2014
1. Yeah, do it.
2. Any profession gets that. This group used to ask Andie J about tax stuff , Tonka about computer things and Sub about legal stuff. If there are doctors or nurses around they are right to have hidden the fact.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#5 Mar 10, 2014
RACE wrote:
1 Hurray for you
2 Oh cripes! Your upset because your a minister and you have to minister to people. Lord works in mysterious ways and all that
how would you like it if you were busy and someine kept bothering you with questions about beer drinking and wood working. Every day. Hogging your time. Never letting you work on whatever it is you worl on when not dinking beer?

He's fine ministering them, but not when he's already busy.

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

#6 Mar 10, 2014
L2: I sympathize, because I'd imagine for a minister it's much harder to tell people to buzz off than a lawyer or a doctor. Part of their "job" is to care about people so they have to be much more careful about diplomatically redirecting people.
not a ghost

San Antonio, TX

#7 Mar 10, 2014
I agree with JMW and PEllen.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#8 Mar 10, 2014
I have empathy for the man, just not sympathy. If he wants to study without distraction, I suggest he gets his coffee to go, and visits a cemetery.
My point is that his job does not have set hours. People dont get sick and die only between 9 and 5. Neither do souls needing counsel. When people ask for his help, he is being given an opportunity to heal, and instead of seeing the blessing he is given, he only sees a chore he must do.

Now, about beer drinking.....
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>how would you like it if you were busy and someine kept bothering you with questions about beer drinking and wood working. Every day. Hogging your time. Never letting you work on whatever it is you worl on when not dinking beer?
He's fine ministering them, but not when he's already busy.

“No. 1 Stunna”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#9 Mar 10, 2014
LW1: Shup. Next time ask for advice.

LW2:Im busy studying right now, and I cant talk. If you would like to schedule an appointment, I would love to talk to you then.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#10 Mar 10, 2014
RACE wrote:
People dont get sick and die only between 9 and 5. Neither do souls needing counsel.
if it was a one time crisis, then yes, he can stop what he's doing. But its the same people every day. If you need that much attention, make an appointment. Come by during the hours we are holding confession. Something. Just don't assume every time its convenient for you that padre need to drop everything he's doing.

And i suppose p is right comparing it to other professions. I knew IT people who refused to have lunch in the company lunchroom because people woul come bother them with issues. Its like dude, this is not an emergency. Im having lunch. I can't liok at your issue. Submit a ticket. Send me an email. Leave a voicemail.. Whatever. Right now,i'm busy. Don't bother me unless there is a crisis that needs immediate attention
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#11 Mar 10, 2014
1: My doctor says it isn't always possible to tell what started first - the kidney disease or the high blood pressure. They just usually go hand in hand.Either one can cause the other. So if you have high blood pressure, ask for a kidney function test. It's just a blood test like you probably already have done in the past. They just do something with the numbers to figure out what your kidney function is. My understanding is that anything 60 or lower is a red flag - especially if you have other risk factors. I have chronic kidney disease which is the reason I know this. I've also found that doctors don't always check for this if you don't tell them about your family history. That's the only reason mine bothered to even look at my numbers. I'd like to add that you can have kidney disease even without the protein in the urine. The protein just indicates a particular "family or group" of kidney diseases that were once lumped together under the name of Bright's Disease but they have since decided that Bright's is or contains more than one kind of kidney disease (or cause for the kidney problem).
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#12 Mar 10, 2014
3: I suspect these guys aren't really concerned about the religious aspect of their "problems" if they even exist. It wouldn't surprise me if they just like to bother this guy. I'd like to know what the coffee shop owner thinks of this guy hogging his table to study while other prospective patrons look elsewhere for their coffee. Now I can see bringing material to read while drinking one's coffee or having a meal (I do that myself if I go out to eat on my own) but I got the impression (perhaps incorrectly) that he sits there and studies longer than it would normally take for a coffee or meal. What's wrong with his office (if he actually has one) or his home?

I understand that the guy should be able to schedule meetings with people and not just be cornered by them when it's inconvenient for him. Of course that depends on the urgency of the problem. But otherwise, I do think it's ok for him to simply tell these guys that he prefers to counsel people in a more private venue and they should call his office for an appointment. The fact that he had to write in for advice from a "secular" adviser shows he may not be as ready to counsel people as these men think he is.
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#13 Mar 10, 2014
PEllen wrote:
1. Yeah, do it.
2. Any profession gets that. This group used to ask Andie J about tax stuff , Tonka about computer things and Sub about legal stuff. If there are doctors or nurses around they are right to have hidden the fact.
Ah Ha!!!!! Now I know who to ask. YAAAAAAAAAAAAYyyyyyyyy! ;-)

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#14 Mar 10, 2014
LW1: I'm glad you're getting your medical issues under control, but lordamighty! you make me want to have a few beers.

LW2: Offer to set up a regular meeting with these guys (at the coffee shop) so that when they see at other times, they don't bother your studies.

And folks, being a minister is not a lucrative career choice. He's probably there for the free wi-fi because he has no internet connection at home.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#15 Mar 10, 2014
j_m_w wrote:
L2: I sympathize, because I'd imagine for a minister it's much harder to tell people to buzz off than a lawyer or a doctor. Part of their "job" is to care about people so they have to be much more careful about diplomatically redirecting people.
This.

Now that they know that he's a minister, he's not going to be able to study at the coffee shop when they are there. I think he should plan to study elsewhere - at his church office, at home, or anywhere else where he is not likely to be disturbed. He could continue going to the coffee shop from time to time and chatting with/ministering to his new friends while he has coffee. And he could tell them that he is studying more in his church office because there were too many distractions at the coffee shop. Maybe that would persuade them to visit him at his office. Or maybe not.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#16 Mar 10, 2014
1: My doc always adds a peepee test with labwork. They are cheap. Your dr sounds lazy. I love my doc....thorough but not OTT and not a pill pusher.

2: They are taking advantage of him and emotionally manipulating (offended? hurt? grow up).
He can chit-chat once or twice but to bogart this guy's study time...no.

He's in a worse position than a teacher, but in the community, people think you are to act like perfect holy beings who cannot get upset or make requests (all the while they can curse and get belligerent with you anytime).
He may just have to make them think he's rude....I mean, they already act offended. How will this differ?
Oh-noise-reduction headphone. Do not remove. Wave, resume work.

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#17 Mar 10, 2014
L2. Padre,
It never bothers me to offer my opinion to people pro bono. It comes with the territory.

You gotta expect to be approachable when you are wearing the collar

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#18 Mar 10, 2014
L1: Well, I learned something today. Kidney disease and high blood pressure can go hand-in-hand. I also learned by a urinanalysis isn't the only test needed to be run to test for kidney disease. A GFR blood test is needed, too. See, Abby can be educational.

L2: Ministers are allowed to be in public without their collars -- aren't they? I don't know the answer to that. I also like the headphone idea.

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

#19 Mar 10, 2014
Toj wrote:
L2: Ministers are allowed to be in public without their collars -- aren't they? I don't know the answer to that. I also like the headphone idea.
Only priests wear collars. Protestant ministers don't. I gathered from the letter that these people knew through chatting with him that the LW a minister.
Eh, maybe he shouldn't have engaged them in ANY conversation if he wanted to focus on studying.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#20 Mar 10, 2014
Pippa wrote:
I'd like to know what the coffee shop owner thinks of this guy hogging his table to study while other prospective patrons look elsewhere for their coffee.
Now I don't claim to be an expert on coffee shops, as I don't drink coffee, but the impression I get is that coffee shops are places people go to drink coffee and hang out. My thinking is that unless space is limited, store managers don't care how long you stay. The longer you stay, the more likely you are to buy something else.
squishymama wrote:
He's probably there for the free wi-fi because he has no internet connection at home.
This. I live near the University of Central Florida and you can't go in there ever without seeing half a dozen people in there wit laptops open, doing work, no doubt using the free wifi.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Chicago Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Messianic Jews say they are persecuted in Israel (Jun '08) 12 min Frijoles 69,969
Do you find smoking attractive? (No posts about... 45 min Girly girl 4
Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 1 hr John Galt 1,124,814
BARACK OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE: Suit contesting... (Jan '09) 1 hr wojar 179,264
Chicago a model city 3 hr Just me 6
Father Of Hans Peterson Speaks Out (Oct '07) 4 hr Getagrip 44
Ill. House Approves Legalizing Same-Sex Civil U... (Dec '10) 4 hr Boy G 50,587
Chicago Dating
Find my Match

Chicago Jobs

Chicago People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

Chicago News, Events & Info

Click for news, events and info in Chicago

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]