“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Sep 17, 2013
DEAR ABBY: My younger sister, "Tanya," is 22 and a single mother. Her son is 2. She's pregnant again, and this time her baby will be a girl.

My sister is very dramatic and emotional. She gets angry easily and has a short fuse. She's great with her son, except he picks up on her drama and is somewhat dramatic himself. My worry is that girls are more likely to imitate that behavior, and I'm concerned my niece will be just like her mother. Although Tanya has a good heart, her emotional issues have caused her to have horrible relationships with men, as our mother did.

When I suggested to my sister that she talk to someone about her anger, she flipped out on me. We were both sexually abused as children. I have dealt with those issues and she has not. Was I rude to suggest she see someone about her emotional problems?-- JUST TRYING TO HELP

DEAR TRYING TO HELP: Suggesting that Tanya discuss this with a professional wasn't rude; it was a loving thing to do. Your sister reacted defensively because she isn't ready to admit she needs help.

What you must do is hope that one day she will be receptive, but also accept that it may never happen. Not everyone is strong enough to face the fact that they need help or willing to reach out for it.

DEAR ABBY: How does a person quit being a quitter? At 46, I have realized that this is what I am. I have quit everything -- church, jobs, school. If I don't like a friend, I just drop the person. The same goes for books, exercise -- everything! How do you stop the lifelong habit of quitting?-- QUITTER IN CHARLESTON

DEAR CHARLESTON: I hate to see you give yourself a pejorative label. It's time to have yourself evaluated because it is possible you suffer from attention deficit disorder -- and if you do, there is help for it.

If that's not the case, then start small, give yourself a goal you can accomplish and don't stop until you have reached it. It doesn't have to be anything complicated, but see it through. Then give yourself another, more difficult assignment and finish it.

Perseverance is a skill that can be learned. Each time you succeed, you will reinforce the idea that you can do it. The more you do this, the better you will feel about yourself, and it will be reflected in your work and social relationships.

DEAR ABBY: I am a married woman with several single friends. They are always eager to do things with me, but married life is a lot different than being single. I'd love to connect these friends, who don't know each other. I realize making friends can be hard, and I'd love to help them in that way.

What would be the best way to do this? I don't have a lot of time to spend inviting everyone together and having them get to know each other. I'd like to do a quick introduction, then let them go have fun doing "single people" things. Is this possible?-- UNIFIER IN PITTSBURGH

DEAR UNIFIER: Absolutely. Call or email your friends and tell them there are people you want them to meet because you think they'd enjoy each other. Then arrange a group lunch at a convenient location and introduce them. After that, if the chemistry is right, they'll become friendly.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#2 Sep 17, 2013
1 You cant stop a train wreck, but at least try to get her tubes tied.

2 Or you could Grow the F*k up.

3 Quit meddling, they dont need you to arrange play dates for them.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#3 Sep 17, 2013
L1: Great. Yet another person ill-equipped for parenting having yet another kid.

L2: Maybe you're just really good at separating the wheat from the chaff.

L3: Oh jeezus christ. Throw a damn party already.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#4 Sep 17, 2013
LW1: Just be there for the kids.

LW2: Why, you take the magic anti-quitting pill of course!

LW3: No sh!t, Ang. If this is so GD important to you, then you'll find the time.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#5 Sep 17, 2013
L3: "married life is a lot different than being single" Not really socially, unless you have kids. I have some weeks where I do stuff every night of the week. If your friends aren't douches, it should be easy to overlap your friend circles.

Since: Feb 10

Location hidden

#6 Sep 17, 2013
No! Don't listen to the other posters! Do it! Do it! Do it!

Arrange the play dates. Connect them all with each other, because they are single and pathetic and don't have the ability to find a man like you did.

And then write back, whining about how all your single friends have ditched you to go do fun stuff together without you.

Ha!

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#7 Sep 17, 2013
LW1: You tried Ö itís time to accept. Crazy gonna be crazy.

LW2: Baby steps, duuuude! First take up hardcore drinking, see if you can stick with that, and then weíll move onto something else.

:p

LW3: I donít think these people need you to make friends. They probably are wondering why you dropped off the map.

You know, it is possible to still go out, even with <gasp> single friends, after you are married.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#8 Sep 17, 2013
itser wrote:
And then write back, whining about how all your single friends have ditched you to go do fun stuff together without you.
Ha!
Heh...

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#9 Sep 17, 2013
Matilda77 wrote:
L3: "married life is a lot different than being single" Not really socially, unless you have kids. I have some weeks where I do stuff every night of the week. If your friends aren't douches, it should be easy to overlap your friend circles.
this.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#10 Sep 17, 2013
L1: You know she has anger issues and you are then surprised she wigged out on you?

L2: Well, you completed a letter to Abby. You can't be that stupid. Quit quitting. Simple. Now go get checked out on the ADD/ADHD thing.

L3: Loved Itser's answer. Love it. Agree with Red.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#11 Sep 17, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
L1: Great. Yet another person ill-equipped for parenting having yet another kid.
And the poor kids suffer the consequences of this irresponsible behavior. With birth control as available and inexpensive as it is today, there is no excuse for all of these unplanned pregnancies.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#12 Sep 17, 2013
1: Poor kids...why do people like this always procreate most?

2: Please don't marry.

3: yes, it's different. Us single friends you quickly dumped realize that you can never ever eat dinner or talk again (though you magically find the time with married friends).*grumble*

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