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“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#1 Jul 18, 2013
Dear Amy: What is the protocol when people invite themselves to stay at your house? We frequently have people from out of town who want to stay at our house (friends and relatives). We don't invite these people. Some stay for a week, others for four or five days.While we enjoy their visits, it breaks us financially for food costs. What are our responsibilities, and what's your advice? Vexed in Virginia

Dear Vexed: Here's a script for you: Home Invaders: "Hi, Betsy. Doug and I are coming for a week to hike the Blue Ridge Mountains and wade in the clear running streams of your beautiful state. We'd like the three-egg omelet, popovers and blueberry jam for our first morning." You: "Unfortunately Stan and I can't have you stay with us this time, but there's a nice bed and breakfast in town. Do you want the phone number? We'd love to see you." If there are family members whom you simply can't refuse (or genuinely want to host), let them know that you can only host them for a limited number of days, and say that you need them to help out by going on a grocery run on the first day of their visit.(2006)

Dear Amy: An old friend and I are arguing
over his not returning phone calls. It took him two months and several message requests for a return call regarding an invitation I issued for him to attend a very special party. Three months later and a week from the party date, I again had to make two requests for a return call, at which time he berated me for asking for a return call.When I told him I thought he was being rude and self-centered, he told me I was being self-centered in insisting on a return call. I understand he is busy, but what is the time limit on returning a call? Fed Up With Mr. Big Shot

Dear Fed Up: Mr. Big Shot doesn't seem to want to speak with you. If he did want to speak with you, he would.You know all those people talking on their cellphones while they wait in line at the movies or the grocery store? Those people are making or returning phone calls to people with whom they want to speak.In the future, if you invite someone to something and don't hear back, rather than hector this person for a call back, you should just go ahead and find a friend more worthy of your attention and invite him instead.(2004)

Dear Amy: I was late in sending a 50th-anniversary card because I wasn't sure of the anniversary date after all these years. After my friends' calls from the West Coast indicated the anniversary was past, I apologized and sent a card that evening. The card I sent was returned in another envelope with this note on it: "Nice afterthought we should not have to ask for a card to be sent on our 50th anniversary, especially from our best man!" We used to visit with one another via telephone, but now there is real "shortness" on their end. What to do? Bachelor in Chicago

Dear Bachelor: Let me get this straight: These are friends of yours for 50-plus years? Since their rudeness more or less takes my breath away, your concern over what to do next is somewhat baffling. Still, I appreciate your desire to try to fix things. Consider sending your friends a warm and newsy note containing the following: One fond reminiscence from their wedding day. One fond thought about your friendship over the years. And one expression of affection and good wishes for their future. If they continue to respond to you with such gracelessness, I feel you should turn your attention to your other friends, who no doubt appreciate you and would be more forgiving of such a lapse.(2003)

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#2 Jul 18, 2013
LW1: Protocol = Yes, that will be okay or No, that will not be okay.

LW2: It's kind of annoying how you harass the guy so much. Take a clue .... he's obviously not that into you or whatever party it was you were having.

LW3: LOL, what a bunch of jerks. I don't think you should do anything or kiss their butts.
Cass

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

#3 Jul 18, 2013
LW1 - The protocol is not let them unless you want to.

LW2 - Huh? Why is this person a friend? If somebody does not return my calls, I stop considering them my friends and stop calling them.

LW3 - Another "huh?" Tell them to copulate off.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#4 Jul 18, 2013
blah blah blah

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#5 Jul 18, 2013
L1: "How do I say 'no' without saying 'no'?"

L2: What's up with issuing invitations so well in advance? More than FIVE MONTHS before the event? KNock it the hell off. You are annoying. I'd not return your calls, either. I'd email you to tell you I won't be at the party.

L3: NEver speak to the idiots again. They are beyond salvation as polite, respectful human beings.
not a ghost

San Antonio, TX

#6 Jul 18, 2013
LW1 should pretend not to be home if these people come knocking and follow the advice of Cass and Sublime if they catch LW1 on the way out of the house.

LW2 should call someone else.

LW3 should laugh at the note and throw it in the recycling bin.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#7 Jul 18, 2013
1 Honesty. Tell them to kick in for groceries, and a good guest also takes their host out for a dinner during their stay.
2 This is not a friend, quit being a doormat
3 It's been 50 yrs and you still have not figured out that these people are idiots? You really are slow.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#8 Jul 18, 2013
What a well articulated statement :)
squishymama wrote:
blah blah blah

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#9 Jul 18, 2013
L1: Open your mouth and let words come out. How did you make it this far in life?

L2: Your friend is trying to dump you. Take the hint.

L3: What jerks. What to do is stop contacting them.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#10 Jul 18, 2013
1: I'm sorry but that doesn't work for me.

2: Six (or is it five? I lost track) MONTHS before the party? I don't care what kind of party (even a wedding) it is, that much time beforehand is ridiculous. If I got an invitation that far in advance no way would I be able to say I was going...too much stuff can happen in HALF A YEAR...

Not everyone is as in to your stuff as you are. YOU were out of line bugging him to a return call. Following up once,(NOT six months in advance, more like a couple weeks) would be fine. If he didn't get back to you then you could have assumed he wasn't coming, but to harass him was wrong.

3: DTMFA(s)

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#11 Jul 18, 2013
L2 and L3
You guys missed it altogether. These are two sides of the same situation.

L2 planned a 50th wedding party which is why the date was set so far in advance. They sent save the date cards to guests, including to the best man. He missed it and sent a belated card. Therefore LW2 is pissed.

The second point is that by the time a 50th anniversary comes around, the participants are in their 70's and 80's. Memory isn't what it used to be and crotchety-ness sets it.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#12 Jul 18, 2013
L1: What Mimi said.

L2: What Mimi said.

L3: Maybe the friends went off their meds. That's ridiculous way to treat someone who is wishing you well. I don't care whether it's before or after the actual date.

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

#13 Jul 18, 2013
1: Start greeting would-be visitors at the door dressed in S&M wear.

2: So Einstein, did it ever occur to you to cut off contact?

3: I'd respond back, "Dear Bob, some idiot sent me a snotty card and signed your name to it."

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#14 Jul 18, 2013
Saluki Rod wrote:
3: I'd respond back, "Dear Bob, some idiot sent me a snotty card and signed your name to it."
Awesome -- I love it!

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Schaumburg, IL

#15 Jul 18, 2013
LW3 - hell, i only remember 2 anniveraries ohter than mine - my parents (thanksgiving weekend) and my bro/SIL (right near his b-day, which is near another culturally significant date). Bro & SIL were apparently really bickering wiht each other over their anniversary date this year, and then i "reminded" tehm by sending flowers early. still had to tell them what date the annviersary actually was.

oh, and we get maybe 3 or 4 acknowledgemetns of our anniversary, usually parents & my aunt...

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#16 Jul 18, 2013
L1. I don't know. Put them to work mowing the lawn or painting some the trim around the windows or some other tedious task. Make them earn their keep.
I bet they would very soon make themselves scarce.
You gotta learn how to use reverse psychology on people. It can become habit forming.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#17 Jul 18, 2013
Aisle Sitter wrote:
LW3 - hell, i only remember 2 anniveraries ohter than mine - my parents (thanksgiving weekend) and my bro/SIL (right near his b-day, which is near another culturally significant date). Bro & SIL were apparently really bickering wiht each other over their anniversary date this year, and then i "reminded" tehm by sending flowers early. still had to tell them what date the annviersary actually was.
oh, and we get maybe 3 or 4 acknowledgemetns of our anniversary, usually parents & my aunt...
I always thought wedding anniversaries were really solely for the couple that married. If I see my sister on her anniversary or talk to her a day or two before or after I'll say "happy anniversary" but other than that...

I don't recall ever getting an anniversary card or anything from anyone when I was married.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#18 Jul 18, 2013
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
I always thought wedding anniversaries were really solely for the couple that married. If I see my sister on her anniversary or talk to her a day or two before or after I'll say "happy anniversary" but other than that...
I don't recall ever getting an anniversary card or anything from anyone when I was married.
Me neither, and I agree. As long as you remember your own and acknowledge it to the person you're married to, you're good in my book. Anything else is gravy.

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#19 Jul 18, 2013
And be sure to stress to them that this is a working ranch.
That today they will be chopping firewood and tomorrow at the break of dawn they will be clearing brush.
Just like they do in Midland when Bush went on retreat.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#20 Jul 18, 2013
I've gotten anniversary cards for my parents a few times over the years, but it wasn't a regular thing and I"m sure they didn't expect it.

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