“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 Feb 10, 2014
DEAR AMY: I need help with my "boyfriend."

We are both over-the-road truck drivers. I work the West Coast and he the East Coast, with minimal coast-to-coast runs.

We met at the truck yard I run out of. We got to talking, then dinner, then to ... well, ummm, yeah. He seemed like a nice guy. I would consider moving toward a dating relationship in six or 12 months.

Well, the next day he wanted me to quit my job, jump on his truck and ride off into the sunset with him, which turned me off big-time.

I told him that if he was all that interested in me, he shouldn't rely on one night. Three months later, we're still talking, but he still wants me on his truck and is trying to put deadlines on it.

My feelings haven't really changed that much: Friends, yes, dating/long-term relationship or working in close quarters, no.

I've wanted to tell him this without sounding like a jerk because he really is a nice guy, but he just gets pushy about wanting to be with me on such short notice.

Can you offer me some awesome advice?-- Left Coast

DEAR LEFT: First, a word of advice regarding your own behavior: When you "well, ummm, yeah" with someone after one conversation and one shared meal, you're playing relationship roulette.

There are times when two big rigs bumping in the night would be fine, fun -- and a nice jump-start to your road warrior life. But then there are times when being intimate with someone so quickly is very unwise (if not outright dangerous -- for research please watch the classic one-night-stand cautionary tale "Fatal Attraction").

I'm not saying your boyfriend is a bunny boiler -- only that he is a potential bunny boiler (we all are).

Pressuring you to abandon your own career and ride off with him into the sunset after one encounter is behavior that may sound like romantic (to him), but it is needy, controlling and selfish.

Here's what you should say: "I like you, but I don't know you all that well. I will not ditch my rig in order to ride with you. I'm just not going to do that. If you can accept having a friendship with me, that would be great. If you can't, I understand."

DEAR AMY: More than six months ago, a former colleague's daughter died tragically and unexpectedly.

I collected donations, most of which were cash, added my contribution, and then wrote a check to the charity they had selected and sent it to the colleague with our condolences.

When several months had passed and the check had not been cashed, I first contacted the charity, who confirmed that they didn't have the check, then sent an email to the colleague asking how he was doing and letting him know he was in our thoughts and prayers.

He said they had not been able to open all the cards from people yet, and I let him know about the check, but that we all totally understood how difficult this was. Several more months have passed and the check has not been cashed.

Should I send an email to the entire company asking those who contributed to contact me, then offer to return their money? Should I have sent the donation directly to the charity?-- Compassionate

DEAR COMPASSIONATE: You should have sent the check directly to the charity.

I hope you can understand how a shocked and grieving family may not be able to even open cards of condolence. At this point, work with your bank to have this check voided and send a new one to the charity, with instructions for the charity to notify your colleague of the donation.

DEAR AMY: I'm responding to the letter from "Future Widow," who was worried about what to do for a service after her nonreligious husband died. I thought your recommendation to celebrate his life during his life was fantastic.

My family faced something similar. We had a tiny service and met afterward at mom's favorite restaurant. We were so happy to see it brimming over with friends!-- Grateful

DEAR GRATEFUL: This sounds perfect.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Bronx, NY

#2 Feb 10, 2014
2- Aren't checks usually voided after 90 days anyway? Cancel the check, send a new one directly to the charity, inform your colleague

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#3 Feb 10, 2014
1 Gay truck stop sex. Well, yeah, lets not go there.

2 lamy got it right, your a dolt

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Bronx, NY

#4 Feb 10, 2014
RACE wrote:
1 Gay truck stop sex. Well, yeah, lets not go there.
Same thought

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#5 Feb 10, 2014
Dog + Race, nuff said

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#6 Feb 10, 2014
LW1: Tell him you just want to be friends.

LW2: I woulda sent it directly to the charity.
Blunt Advice

Saddle River, NJ

#7 Feb 10, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Same thought
. That's what crossed my mind too

2. Stop check, send new one directly to charity

3. Funeral directors often conduct services and even have a house clergy person for those who believe in God but don't go to a church.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#8 Feb 10, 2014
LW1: I just have to point out there are female truck drivers, people. That being said, this guy sounds like a complete wacko and no way should you ride off into the sunset with him. More likely you'd end up shackled in the sleeping area of the cab.

And nice judgement from Amy on the one night stand. It happens lady and you can get off your high horse about it. Trying to scare the LW with "Fatal Attraction" just proves that you are a complete hack.

LW2: What Amy said. <gollum>

LW3: boring beige

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#9 Feb 10, 2014
Yes their are, but I the LW writes like a male, And if a female truck driver wrote that way, I dont think she would be interested in men.

Quick trucker joke.

A trucker was at a stop light and another trucker pulled up along side. The guy looks over and sees that the other driver is a woman and she is driving a brand new rig. So he hollers over
"How do you like your Peterbuilt?" She answered "About as big around as a beer can and twice as long."
squishymama wrote:
LW1: I just have to point out there are female truck drivers, people.
Kuuipo

Marina, CA

#11 Feb 10, 2014
LW1: My friend and I were in an accident with a female big-rig driver, so yes, they exist.(She tried to pass us on the right on a narrow road and hit the right rear of my friend's car.) Sorry for the OT. The bottom line is you don't give up your job for a guy you barely know who lives on the opposite coast. Period. Did you need an advice columnist to tell you that?
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#12 Feb 10, 2014
1: Ick. You know this ma mere hours and let him put his trucker peen in you? Go away.

2: I'm sorry but 6 months is enough time to deal with this, especially if you were alerted there wwas money. I say this as someone who dealt with my bro's aftermath. I got cards, etc. sent.
Voiding a check costs money--who pays for that?
Cass

Claremont, CA

#13 Feb 10, 2014
LW1 - Are you the person Train has a song about. You know, Drive By?

LW2 - Cancel the check, write a new one, alert the recipient NOT to send the check to the charity.

LW3 - You can have a non-religous service. Is it such a hard idea to grasp?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#14 Feb 10, 2014
Once worked security at a truck terminal. And yes, while there are female truckers, the few I met were bull dykes. I'm sure there are straight female truckers, just sayin I rarely met one. So while the LW could be female, if I were a betting man, I wouldn't bet my money on it.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#15 Feb 11, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
Once worked security at a truck terminal. And yes, while there are female truckers, the few I met were bull dykes. I'm sure there are straight female truckers, just sayin I rarely met one. So while the LW could be female, if I were a betting man, I wouldn't bet my money on it.
how many of the male truckers were gay?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#16 Feb 11, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>how many of the male truckers were gay?
How the fk should I know, am I gay patrol?

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#17 Feb 11, 2014
Aren't you? You could pick out all the gay female drivers...It just goes to show you have a knack for finding the queerducks in the pond.
Wonder why that is...
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
How the fk should I know, am I gay patrol?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#18 Feb 11, 2014
RACE wrote:
Aren't you? You could pick out all the gay female drivers...It just goes to show you have a knack for finding the queerducks in the pond.
Wonder why that is...
<quoted text>
I didn't say gay female truck drivers, I said raging bull dykes

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#19 Feb 11, 2014
cheluzal wrote:
1: Ick. You know this ma mere hours and let him put his trucker peen in you? Go away.
Its ok. She has a trucker va-jay-jay.
Blunt Advice

Saddle River, NJ

#20 Feb 11, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Its ok. She has a trucker va-jay-jay.
If lw is a she I hope they used protection. Or else they will be spawning little trucker babies.

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