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“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#22 Mar 9, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
Plus there's the whole future favor just hanging over my head thing. <shrug>
That's just foreign to me. I don't see getting a favor from someone as tying an obligation to me considering I am usually fine with doing someone a favor without having an obligation to.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

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#23 Mar 10, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
That's just foreign to me. I don't see getting a favor from someone as tying an obligation to me considering I am usually fine with doing someone a favor without having an obligation to.
See that's the thing. I don't mind doing favors. I do a lot of them. I don't expect anything back for being a nice person. Other people don't see things that way.

I just don't like the idea that *I* "owe" someone a favor because they did one for me. It's like, ok someone does me a favor then they need one at some future date and I can't/don't want to do them that particular favor at that time and they are all like "but I did x, y, and/or z for you so you owe me." Just don't want to be in that situation.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#24 Mar 10, 2013
I have a friend like that, Mimi. She doesn't want to owe anybody anything. Good luck trying to buy her a drink or dinner.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#25 Mar 10, 2013
How about this, Mimi: how are you at accepting offers of repayment, as in, "You've done so much for me in the last year, Mimi, and I have this great new job. Let me take you out for a nice dinner as thanks fore verything you've done for me?"

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#26 Mar 10, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
How about this, Mimi: how are you at accepting offers of repayment, as in, "You've done so much for me in the last year, Mimi, and I have this great new job. Let me take you out for a nice dinner as thanks fore verything you've done for me?"
I can do that. I still feel uncomfortable, but it's not a favor, and I understand the need for other people to feel like it's not all one sided; like they can do stuff for others too.

It's basically the "favor" thing I have problems with. I can pinpoint all the emotional/psychological things inside me that cause me to be this way, but really, you guys don't want to know all of that carp. <shrug>

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

#27 Mar 10, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
See that's the thing. I don't mind doing favors. I do a lot of them. I don't expect anything back for being a nice person. Other people don't see things that way.
I just don't like the idea that *I* "owe" someone a favor because they did one for me. It's like, ok someone does me a favor then they need one at some future date and I can't/don't want to do them that particular favor at that time and they are all like "but I did x, y, and/or z for you so you owe me." Just don't want to be in that situation.
IMO, that's a crappy "friend" who would put you on the spot like that. With real friends, it happens organically and at the end of the day, everyone's ledgers are equal, so to speak.

And I totally agree with you about doing nice things for people just for the sake of doing nice things. If there's an ulterior motive or an expectation for something in return, one should examine their own heart....

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#28 Mar 10, 2013
j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>
IMO, that's a crappy "friend" who would put you on the spot like that.
I agree. I've experienced too many of these people over the years which probably explains my misanthropy. <shrug>

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#29 Mar 11, 2013
No, its the internet. Real is that place thats on the other side of the window.
Really wrote:
Is this real?

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