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“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Schaumburg, IL

#41 Apr 16, 2013
Stina wrote:
<quoted text>
Thanks for acknowledging that!!!!
It does irk me a little when I hear about SAHMs' "pay value" being 100k+ a year. I dont' argue that it is a HARD job and VERY important, but most of us get everything done that a SAHM does AND work 40-50 hours a week. I would LOVE to have the leisure of 9 or 10 extra hours a day to go to the grocery, straighten up the house, do laundry, etc. I don't believe that's 100k+ a year job (if it were to be paid) and I NEVER hear what a working mom would be worth. That being said, I think you might be onto something about the LW.
Its a Salary(dot) com survey... Here's a sample of what they do and the math:
#3 Mom Job: Daycare Center Teacher
Annual salary:$26,881
Hourly pay:$12.92
Stay-at-home moms: 13.7 hours a week
Working moms: 5.5 hours a week

#5 Mom Job: Computer Operator
Annual salary:$32,095
Hourly pay:$15.43
Stay-at-home moms: 8.9 hours a week
Working moms: 6.5 hours a week

They do have a description of what goes into it, like when you play Angry Birds, that 'coutns' as a computer operator... They should be coming out with teh new survey results soon...
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#42 Apr 16, 2013
Aisle Sitter wrote:
<quoted text>
They do have a description of what goes into it, like when you play Angry Birds, that 'coutns' as a computer operator... They should be coming out with teh new survey results soon...
This is pretty funny because I would hardly count that! So I can play Angry Birds all day and that would count? Oy!
And if I plop my kid in front of a computer to PLAY Angry Birds, do I get credit for "teaching" AND being a "Computer operator"???
:D

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#43 Apr 16, 2013
I agree, Stina, parents who both work do the same work a sahm does, but it often likely encroaches on fun family time. WHich is a good reason to get young kids involved early in doing household chores -- the sooner the work is done, the sooner everyone can have fun, go to the zoo, whatever.

However: What sahms do that most working moms probably don't do is, ideally, mostly home-cooked meals, and there likely is time to do more in-depth cleaning (once kids are older and in school, especially).

TO me, the SAHM's huge value is that only one parent is on the hook for sick kids, dr. appointments, dentist appointments, etc., leaving the other parent to focus on work and making money.

And not everyone is cut out for being a sahp.
Julie

Chicago, IL

#44 Apr 16, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text> I am close frinds with a group of women from grad school. One has made life choices that has left her, ah, impoverished. When tehr est of us plan something that is pricier, we invite A and pick up the tab for teh sake of her frindship and company.
That's lovely. Kudos to all of you.
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#45 Apr 17, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
I agree, Stina, parents who both work do the same work a sahm does, but it often likely encroaches on fun family time. WHich is a good reason to get young kids involved early in doing household chores -- the sooner the work is done, the sooner everyone can have fun, go to the zoo, whatever.
However: What sahms do that most working moms probably don't do is, ideally, mostly home-cooked meals, and there likely is time to do more in-depth cleaning (once kids are older and in school, especially).
TO me, the SAHM's huge value is that only one parent is on the hook for sick kids, dr. appointments, dentist appointments, etc., leaving the other parent to focus on work and making money.
And not everyone is cut out for being a sahp.


Excpet some of us DO manage to make home-cooked meals... and still take kids to doctor, dentist, work from home if kid is sick. I guess the point is that we all do it. Just some of us don't have the leisure of an extra 10 hours a day to do it in.

I agree about the kids and chores, though! That makes a HUGE difference!!!

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#46 Apr 17, 2013
Stina wrote:
<quoted text>
Excpet some of us DO manage to make home-cooked meals... and still take kids to doctor, dentist, work from home if kid is sick. I guess the point is that we all do it. Just some of us don't have the leisure of an extra 10 hours a day to do it in.
I agree about the kids and chores, though! That makes a HUGE difference!!!
I just see families where both parents work, taking more shortcuts for meals. Nick does it (he isn't much of a cook). I don't care that they do it -- time is valuable. Would you rather be in the kitchen for 45 minutes fixing supper, or spend 15 minutes and have an extra half hour with your kid? For single parents, I can see even more shortcuts used if necessary, just because you have only so much time in an evening.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#47 Apr 17, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
I just see families where both parents work, taking more shortcuts for meals. Nick does it (he isn't much of a cook). I don't care that they do it -- time is valuable. Would you rather be in the kitchen for 45 minutes fixing supper, or spend 15 minutes and have an extra half hour with your kid? For single parents, I can see even more shortcuts used if necessary, just because you have only so much time in an evening.
Or, you can have your kid help in the kitchen while you make dinner.
I had an 18 month old under the kitchen table cutting fresh mushrooms with a very dull butter knife to put in spaghetti sauce and other strategies to get time with my kids. FWIW when that one grew up and went to college she hung out in the soroity house kitchen and became semi-official house pancake maker.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#48 Apr 17, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
Or, you can have your kid help in the kitchen while you make dinner.
I had an 18 month old under the kitchen table cutting fresh mushrooms with a very dull butter knife to put in spaghetti sauce and other strategies to get time with my kids. FWIW when that one grew up and went to college she hung out in the soroity house kitchen and became semi-official house pancake maker.
My friend has her 2yo helping to make things like pizza and quesadillas. I think the more capable you see your kid, the more capable she IS. Nick coddles his kids quite a lot, IMHO. I hate that he still will fix a plate of food for an 11yo kid at a family gathering when the food is on the table buffet style and the kid can reach everything.
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#49 Apr 17, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
My friend has her 2yo helping to make things like pizza and quesadillas. I think the more capable you see your kid, the more capable she IS. Nick coddles his kids quite a lot, IMHO. I hate that he still will fix a plate of food for an 11yo kid at a family gathering when the food is on the table buffet style and the kid can reach everything.
I totally agree. When my daughter is at her Dad's, he plates her food, gives her plastic "kiddie" plates and cups, doesn't give her a steak knife. He purs her cereal and clears her plates for her.

Drives me nuts! Does NOT happen when she's with me. I ask her to help with stuff (peel potatoes, set table, etc), she has to clear the dishes and she prepares her own plates unless it's the type of thing that needs to be plated by the stove. She knows how to use a steak knife and will not break a dish. For heaven's sake, she's 10, not 4!!!

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#50 Apr 17, 2013
The thought of doing any of that emptied out of my head as soon as my daughters shoulders cleared the counter.
Stina wrote:
<quoted text>
I totally agree. When my daughter is at her Dad's, he plates her food, gives her plastic "kiddie" plates and cups, doesn't give her a steak knife. He purs her cereal and clears her plates for her.
Drives me nuts! Does NOT happen when she's with me. I ask her to help with stuff (peel potatoes, set table, etc), she has to clear the dishes and she prepares her own plates unless it's the type of thing that needs to be plated by the stove. She knows how to use a steak knife and will not break a dish. For heaven's sake, she's 10, not 4!!!

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#51 Apr 17, 2013
there is mnothing proiving this . dont know what to do :9 i hate u

cheesen33@safe-mail.com

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

Chicago, IL

#53 Apr 17, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
One of the most common question asked of advice columnists. "This will really hurt Person A. HOw can we do what we want and not have Person A be hurt?" You can't. THat's life. Chocolate? Vanille? CHOOSE.
Hurt feelings don't make the message wrong.

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