Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#21 Oct 24, 2012
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Yes, it's a win, win situation, all around. Cheaper and then less women are saddled with a baby when they really don't want one, especially teens. I would think that is one issue conservatives and liberals could agree upon.
You'd think so (especially because it's proven to result in significantly fewer abortions), but leaders in the Republican party want to keep women from having access to birth control. You had presidential candidates wanting to ban it for everyone int he country.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#22 Oct 24, 2012
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
That's kind of a thorny issue.
Yes it is. I am of 2 minds on it. The parent part of me would have wanted to maintain control over my kids healthcare issues. The realist part of me knows that no mater how open a relationship I had, matters of sex and bc are not easy to talk to a parent about.Different parents can have something approaching an angry, punitive response and for that possibility, teh girl's health has been chosen to come first in the IL statutes. Although I think we passed a parental notification law in teh mid 90's which has been stalled in court fights ever since

I have mentioned this before. I finessed the issue by having the local PP equivalent send teh info packet to each daughter and I encouraged them to have private time with the pediatrician when they went in for an exam.
pde

Palatine, IL

#23 Oct 24, 2012
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
At 15 I was working. If I was in that girl's position I would have paid cash so the parents wouldn't find out. Who knows, perhaps she complained of cramps and her parents knew she was on the pill and paid for it. The pill is for more than just pregnancies. It helps make a cycle more regular among other things.
I always am kind of confused at people who say that a 15-year-old would have trouble getting money. Back when I was 15, it was the rare 15-year-old who didn't have access to a decent amount of money on a monthly basis. I and my female friends all were babysitters and had been babysitting since at least 13. Most of the males did things like mow lawns. Some kids had allowances.

At 15, I had $3000 in a passbook savings account that I'd saved over the years from birthday money, sitting and yard jobs, and things like that. And I was not the only person my age I knew who had a decent little savings account. I'd also had uncontrolled access to that account since it was set up, at 15 the bank was halfway between school and home and I'd probably stop once a week on the way to or from school to make a deposit or withdrawal.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#24 Oct 24, 2012
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
You'd think so (especially because it's proven to result in significantly fewer abortions), but leaders in the Republican party want to keep women from having access to birth control. You had presidential candidates wanting to ban it for everyone int he country.
I don't care for that aspect of the party. That comes from the religious right aspect of the party.

I also don't think Romney will represent a big departure from obama's polices if elected. It would be foolish of him to do something extreme and pi$s most of the women off and a good portion of men too.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#25 Oct 24, 2012
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
I always am kind of confused at people who say that a 15-year-old would have trouble getting money. Back when I was 15, it was the rare 15-year-old who didn't have access to a decent amount of money on a monthly basis. I and my female friends all were babysitters and had been babysitting since at least 13. Most of the males did things like mow lawns. Some kids had allowances.
At 15, I had $3000 in a passbook savings account that I'd saved over the years from birthday money, sitting and yard jobs, and things like that. And I was not the only person my age I knew who had a decent little savings account. I'd also had uncontrolled access to that account since it was set up, at 15 the bank was halfway between school and home and I'd probably stop once a week on the way to or from school to make a deposit or withdrawal.
I had 2 jobs plus babysitting once in awhile. And school. You have more energy at that age. Plus I had a group of friends I always went out with. Good times.:)

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#26 Oct 24, 2012
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>Yes it is. I am of 2 minds on it. The parent part of me would have wanted to maintain control over my kids healthcare issues. The realist part of me knows that no mater how open a relationship I had, matters of sex and bc are not easy to talk to a parent about.Different parents can have something approaching an angry, punitive response and for that possibility, teh girl's health has been chosen to come first in the IL statutes. Although I think we passed a parental notification law in teh mid 90's which has been stalled in court fights ever since
ITA. I see the internal competing interests a parent may have, but I also think IL has gotten it right.
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>I have mentioned this before. I finessed the issue by having the local PP equivalent send teh info packet to each daughter and I encouraged them to have private time with the pediatrician when they went in for an exam.
I think you handled it the right way. I know Bambi's mom had her go on b.c., but why wasn't something they really discussed. I also wouldn't really want her discussing what we did or planned to do with her mom. That's not really any of her business, IMO.

It was kind of a wink and a nod thing between them. I'm pretty sure they knew what was going on, considering her dad came out after midnight one night and knocked on the steamy window of my truck, because she was late for curfew because we were going at it in her driveway for a half hour, lol. Awkward!!

If that works, I think that is better than mom or dad sitting them down and having an in depth awkward conversation. I know I would not have wanted that with my parents.
Sam I Am

Nashville, TN

#27 Oct 24, 2012
1. First, the father will not grieve, he will be relieved and possibly annoyed you did not tell him you are pregnant and are now "bothering" him with this knowledge. Second, this letter seems cleaned up by Abby or fake. Third, find someone to talk to. Anyone. You can't keep this kind of thing bottled up. I am guessing that since you were active by 13, the parenting you received was not the best so they are probably out. But find someone.

2. Well, according to you your daughters were getting a biased story from the dad, and now that he is gone they are moving on to the next "best" thing, whether that is real or not. This is not a situation you can "fix," it will just have to sort itself out over time.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Melrose Park, IL

#28 Oct 24, 2012
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Yes, it's a win, win situation, all around. Cheaper and then less women are saddled with a baby when they really don't want one, especially teens. I would think that is one issue conservatives and liberals could agree upon.
How about instead we teach our children to be responsible and moral instead of saying here's some free whatever you need now go out and fk like rabbits!?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#29 Oct 24, 2012
pde wrote:
<quoted text>
I always am kind of confused at people who say that a 15-year-old would have trouble getting money. Back when I was 15, it was the rare 15-year-old who didn't have access to a decent amount of money on a monthly basis. I and my female friends all were babysitters and had been babysitting since at least 13. Most of the males did things like mow lawns. Some kids had allowances.
At 15, I had $3000 in a passbook savings account that I'd saved over the years from birthday money, sitting and yard jobs, and things like that. And I was not the only person my age I knew who had a decent little savings account. I'd also had uncontrolled access to that account since it was set up, at 15 the bank was halfway between school and home and I'd probably stop once a week on the way to or from school to make a deposit or withdrawal.
Define "a decent amount of money".

I got a decent allowance(at least to me it was), but certainly not enough to think a $15 a month expense was no big deal. Had an after school job during my last semester of high school. In the fall, I played football, so there was no time for an after school job then.

Bank account? Birthday money? Hah! That's a funny one. Birthday money was spent, not saved. Any money I had in my bank account was money my parents put in there. Kind of like a little college fund. Certainly not for my discretionary use. And this was before ATM's. My "bank" was a credit union thru my mom's job. Don't recall even knowing where a nearby branch would be even if I wanted to walk into one.

I never started PERSONALLY using that account until I went to college. And at that point, it was an easy way for my parents to get money to me. It was linked to mom's account, so she could transfer money as needed.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#30 Oct 24, 2012
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
How about instead we teach our children to be responsible and moral instead of saying here's some free whatever you need now go out and fk like rabbits!?
Using beith control IS being responsible.

Just wondering, in edog utopia, when would it be acceptable for a person to lose their virginity? Is it by age? Is it only after marriage? If it does not involve birth control, what does "teaching them to be responsible" mean to edog ?

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#31 Oct 24, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Define "a decent amount of money".
I got a decent allowance(at least to me it was), but certainly not enough to think a $15 a month expense was no big deal. Had an after school job during my last semester of high school. In the fall, I played football, so there was no time for an after school job then.
Bank account? Birthday money? Hah! That's a funny one. Birthday money was spent, not saved. Any money I had in my bank account was money my parents put in there. Kind of like a little college fund. Certainly not for my discretionary use. And this was before ATM's. My "bank" was a credit union thru my mom's job. Don't recall even knowing where a nearby branch would be even if I wanted to walk into one.
I never started PERSONALLY using that account until I went to college. And at that point, it was an easy way for my parents to get money to me. It was linked to mom's account, so she could transfer money as needed.
Some parents work it differently. I know mine did. I opened an account with my parents when I was like 8 or something at the local bank. About 8th grade I took all responsibility over it. It was my money that I had saved. From sophomore year on I paid for my school (public school -- books, fees, bus, etc.) and my clothes. Freshman year entry was the last time my parents paid for anything for me other than the roof over my head, gas, electric -- you know, house stuff. And food at home. Like I said, I worked 2 jobs, went to school and had a group of friends.

Some people are savers. I was. I would spend some, save some.

You're mom took care of you in the money arena so you didn't have to learn until after college.

Since: Mar 09

Pittsburgh, PA

#32 Oct 24, 2012
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
A girl can see a gyn type doc and get bc without parents being told.It has been that way for a long time
At least since the mid-to-late 1970s! I remember being a very young married mom, and I made it a point to take my younger sibling(s) and friends to the local Family Planning clinic to get BC & related care. Usually under the guise of "Hey Mom, I'm taking the kids to the mall, see ya later!" Parents never knew.

Another thing parents never knew was, one of those siblings got caught (twice!) for playing hooky and underage drinking. This kid marched up to the local deli and got a job waiting tables, and got Good Big Sister to drive them to the magistrate's office to pay their fines. Our parents were very proud of their enterprising, ambitious child!

BTW, this sibling grew up to be a responsible, successful adult (as did we all!)
pde

Palatine, IL

#33 Oct 24, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Define "a decent amount of money".
Enough at least to take the bus to and from school (no school bus, public transit) and buy lunch everyday.

Taking the bus was 65 cents each way with student card when I started high school (so,$1.30/day) and a standard full lunch at my high school ran $4-5 dollars (no federally subsidized lunches available there). If I wanted to take the bus or I wanted to purchase lunch, I was expected to produce those funds on my own, but a lot of people just got that from their parents. Holding onto lunch money in order to fund purchasing stuff was done pretty regularly. You could get a granola bar or some small for about 50 cents and hold onto the rest of it.

With just my typical babysitting gigs, I generally brought in between $30-$50/week starting in 7th grade. I would babysit Friday or Saturday night, or both ($20-40) and my neighbor down the street used me on an as-needed basis so she didn't have to say, haul her two (diagnosed) ADHD sons to the store for milk. She'd usually give me $5-10 each time, and have me over for an hour or so two or three afternoons a week.

Most teens I knew actually seemed to have access to even more money than I did. Most teens also seemed to have some sort of personally-accessible savings account, getting a passbook account set up was part of a financial management course our school system did in 7th grade. But I guess that is one of the advantages of an urban area, we had things like banks that we could access without our parents' help.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#34 Oct 24, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Using beith control IS being responsible.
Just wondering, in edog utopia, when would it be acceptable for a person to lose their virginity? Is it by age? Is it only after marriage? If it does not involve birth control, what does "teaching them to be responsible" mean to edog ?
Do as Edog says, not as Edog does.
pde

Palatine, IL

#35 Oct 24, 2012
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
Some parents work it differently. I know mine did. I opened an account with my parents when I was like 8 or something at the local bank. About 8th grade I took all responsibility over it. It was my money that I had saved. From sophomore year on I paid for my school (public school -- books, fees, bus, etc.) and my clothes. Freshman year entry was the last time my parents paid for anything for me other than the roof over my head, gas, electric -- you know, house stuff. And food at home. Like I said, I worked 2 jobs, went to school and had a group of friends.
This about describes the way my parents--and really, most of the parents of my friends--handled money with their teens too.

Starting freshman year, I was responsible for any school fees beside tuition (books, trips, stupid mandatory contributions to fundraisers), paying my transit costs, and buying my clothing, including my school uniform and shoes. I could buy lunch out of my own funds or my mom had bread and sandwich meat + juice boxes available and I could make/bring lunch. My junior and senior year, I was responsible for part of my tuition as well.
pde

Palatine, IL

#36 Oct 24, 2012
Above, freshman year refers to freshman year of high school. When I went to college, my parents paid tuition, room, and board--basically only the money that was paid directly to the school. Anything else school or living-expenses-wise was my responsibility.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#37 Oct 24, 2012
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
How about instead we teach our children to be responsible and moral instead of saying here's some free whatever you need now go out and fk like rabbits!?
There is nothing immoral about sex. We've discussed this many times before. Sex comes naturally and is apart of being human. There is no need to demonize it.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#38 Oct 24, 2012
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
Some parents work it differently. I know mine did. I opened an account with my parents when I was like 8 or something at the local bank. About 8th grade I took all responsibility over it. It was my money that I had saved. From sophomore year on I paid for my school (public school -- books, fees, bus, etc.) and my clothes. Freshman year entry was the last time my parents paid for anything for me other than the roof over my head, gas, electric -- you know, house stuff. And food at home. Like I said, I worked 2 jobs, went to school and had a group of friends.
Some people are savers. I was. I would spend some, save some.
You're mom took care of you in the money arena so you didn't have to learn until after college.
I will be the first to admit that I had it pretty easy as a kid. I had relatively few chores around the house. Had no part time job for most of my time in school. Never did a single load of laundry till the week I was going away to college when mom gave me the walkthru on how to do laundry. Never paid for a single stitch of clothing myself until after high school.

One of my chores was cleaning the kitchen every night. I was allowed to use the dishwasher once a week. That is where I developed my skills as a master dishwasher packer. That is probably why I am anal to this day about making sure the kitchen is clean every day before I go to sleep.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Melrose Park, IL

#39 Oct 24, 2012
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>Using beith control IS being responsible.
Just wondering, in edog utopia, when would it be acceptable for a person to lose their virginity? Is it by age? Is it only after marriage? If it does not involve birth control, what does "teaching them to be responsible" mean to edog ?
Better yet, lets put them on the pill as soon as they start bleeding and take a hands off approach because hey, they're gonna do it anyway so why fight it?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Melrose Park, IL

#40 Oct 24, 2012
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
There is nothing immoral about sex. We've discussed this many times before. Sex comes naturally and is apart of being human. There is no need to demonize it.
Especially if you're 13!

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