Posted in the Chicago Forum
“reign in blood”
Since: May 09
#1 Aug 16, 2014
DEAR ABBY: I have been single for a couple of years. I have always been levelheaded when it comes to romance, but I'm finding myself unable to control my feelings about the new man I'm seeing.
"Brent" is smart, intelligent, sweet and loving. We have been dating for a little over a week and he has already given me keys to his place.(I have a roommate, or I would have given him my keys, too!)
I love him. He loves me. I am so happy. I feel calm and confident about how we're progressing. This is a first for me. I know it's unusually fast, but my parents got married six weeks after they met, and they're still happy together after 37 years.
Love at first sight is rare, but I think this is it. Your thoughts?-- WOWED IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR WOWED: I'm glad for your parents, but because they married six weeks after they met does not mean you must repeat history. Right now, you and Brent appear to be caught up in a whirl of endorphins and adrenaline. Because you asked for my thoughts I'll share them: Slow down until both of you have your feet back on the ground because that is how solid relationships are built. Your folks were an exception to the rule. If you don't believe me, ask them.
DEAR ABBY: I'm a 62-year-old male. My problem is I have never been married, and when I go on dates, women always want to know why I'm still single.
The reasons are financial and also that I'm allergic to cats.(A lot of women own cats.) I have never made much money, and I live with my mother. I can't afford to move out, and even when I had a place of my own, it didn't make much difference. I'd like to be married, but this has become a catch-22. No one wants to marry me because I have never been married.
I have looked this issue up online and it is a huge problem; women definitely discriminate against never-married men. Sometimes I wonder if I should lie and say I'm a widower. What can I say to women who interrogate me about this?-- SEARCHING FOR A MATE IN SAN DIEGO
DEAR SEARCHING: If you lie about the fact that you're a lifelong bachelor, at some point the truth will come out and your credibility will be shot. That's why I'm advising you to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Your marital status is nothing to be ashamed of. Not everyone is meant to be married. You say you are 62 and live with your mother because you can't afford to live on your own. Has it occurred to you that you might not be able to afford being married?
Also, marriage is a big adjustment for anyone -- male or female. There is no guarantee that a person who has become set in his or her ways can successfully make that transition. This is not to say that you shouldn't have companionship, but you don't need a wife for that. A good friend -- or several -- could provide it.
“reign in blood”
Since: May 09
#2 Aug 16, 2014
1- OMG, this letter better be fake or it proves that humanity is on the downfall
2- I smell ya, dude. As a never married 30 something, I too have noticed that tends to turn some women off.
"Why can't you keep a woman?"
"I dunno, you've been divorced 5 times, why can't you keep a man?"
Or maybe it's the fact you're 62 and still live with your mother?
Since: Jun 09
#3 Aug 16, 2014
L1" I have been single for a couple of years. "
Hmmm. Levelheaded? Nope.
Desperate? Oooh yessss
Keys after 1 week? Either he is as bad as you are or we will read about your corpse in the NC newspapers or he is setting you up for a charge of theft.
Did I say desperate?
L2 If you can't afford to live on your own now what will you do when you mother dies?
If you are 62 she is at least 80 possibly older. Will you keep her corpse in the closet and continue to collect her social security a la Norman Bates?
You are not looking for a wife, you are looking for a substitute mom and it is being telegraphed to every woman you meet.
Join a monastery. They will take you and they will feed you too
#4 Aug 16, 2014
LW1 - A week??????? This is not dating yet. You don't even know the guy! And keys after a week of dating? Can we say "Pushes for quick involvement"? Not a good sign.
LW2 - You are 62, have never been married, live with your mother, have no financial stability to live on your own. Why would you like to be married? Are you planning ahead on having somebody support you when your mother dies? Sorry, dude, women don't want to marry you not because you are life-long bachelor, but because they see you as an inept old Momma's Boy.
#5 Aug 16, 2014
I agree with you wholeheartedly on both letters. It's not the age on #2, it's his inability to support himself and his having spent his adult life as Mamma's boy. How much is Mama taking care of him and how much is he taking care of her? I'd say for them at her current age, it's probably a mutually beneficial situation but once she's gone, he needs to find another source of income such as a working wife or one with a sizable divorce settlement or inheritance. I'd run a mile myself from such a man.
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