ask amy 8-18-13

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“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#1
Aug 18, 2013
 
Dear Amy: Three months ago I called off an engagement and have finally been able to move on from that relationship.

I decided to ask out a woman who has been in my life for some time. She always hesitated to date me because of my colorful past, but she finally agreed to a date.

The same day she told me that she was ready to give it a shot, I met an amazing woman, and I can't stop thinking about her. We have similar interests and backgrounds, but there are a lot of unknowns.

The first woman is a terrific woman from a great family, and I've been trying for years to get her to go out with me. I am not sure what to do. I don't like the idea of seeing both women at the same time; it just doesn't seem moral to me. Conflicted in Detroit

Dear Conflicted: You mention having a "colorful past." Oh, how I wish you had filled in a detail or two!

The way to handle this is to be transparent. This means that when you ask out "Woman A," you invite her to be your dinner partner, not your relationship partner. The same goes for "Woman B." Don't plunge headlong into sexual/emotional relationships with these women. Get to know them. Then make a choice about what you want and who you want to be with and hope the person is also interested in being in an exclusive relationship with you.

You are just a few months removed from a near-miss. Be cautious, careful, honest and kind to any woman you are getting to know. Take
it slow.

The way to have a different result from your last relationship is to do everything differently now.

Dear Amy: I wonder about the etiquette of parking. I live in a small town that does not have a lot of traffic. My neighbor who lives across the street from me parks in front of my house all the time. She has only one vehicle, as well as a driveway, and there is never anyone parked in front of her house.

It annoys me that she is always there.

I know this sounds petty, and I don't know why it bugs me so much, but when I sit out on my front porch, I don't want to have to stare at her car. Should I mention to her that it bothers me, or will that make me seem like a weirdo? Blocking My View

Dear Blocking: This annoys you because ... it's annoying. Most of us would rather sit peacefully on our porch admiring the passing scene, rather than our neighbor's Chrysler LeBaron.

Your neighbor parks in front of your house because she doesn't enjoy the view (of her car) when she parks in front of her own she may also find it challenging to back out of her driveway onto the street.

You are not a weirdo. Approach her, introduce yourself and say, "Could you park in your driveway or in front of your house? That way I could see more of the street from my porch. I appreciate it very much." You cannot force her to comply, but you do have to be brave enough to ask for what you want.

Dear Amy: I was interested in the letter you published from "Writer." Writer had published a book of fiction and had used a pen name. Now she is facing criticism from someone who recognized herself as a character in the book.

In your response, you claimed that "writing under a pen name is cowardly."

Really? Was Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) a coward? What about J.K. Rowling or Ann Landers? Reader

Dear Reader: You left out a phrase of mine from your quote. I said that "writing under a pen name because you are afraid of negative feedback is cowardly."

People choose pen names for a variety of business and personal reasons sometimes to create an alternate persona when they are known for other work (Mark Twain), or to assume a gender-free name for business purposes (J.K. Rowling), or because she stepped into an established franchise (Ann Landers).

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#2
Aug 18, 2013
 

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L3. Or to be able to post on the internet as a troll

L2. Annoying. Sure, ask her nicely. If she can park on the street in front f her own house that's cool. She might not be able to pull in and out of her driveway because of peripheral vision issues. For may years we had a drive along the edge of our property going to the garage in back. My husband was never able to back his car down the narrow strip; he cant make teh jog into teh space on my side of the drive now and we have been in this house almost 25 years.

L1. Me, too,. Tell us about your colorful past. What is that code for? Otherwise I agree with Amy
liner

Bellport, NY

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Aug 18, 2013
 

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L2: I would find that annoying too. Next time she's out, park your car or cars in the spot she usually does and see what happens.

Since: Mar 09

Pittsburgh, PA

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#4
Aug 18, 2013
 

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LW2 - If the street is 2-way, she's probably approaching from a particular end of the block and just parking with the traffic flow. Parking in front of her own house would involve turning around and/or approaching from the other end of the block, and if her backing-up skills aren't great, that would explain it.
But yeah, open your mouth and SAY something; otherwise she has no idea it bothers you!
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

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Aug 18, 2013
 

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1: Unless you're exclusive, you can date both-but only so long. And yes, don't sleep with them; get to know them and make an informed decision...but I have a feeling girl 1 is going to be reminded of why she didn't want to date you in the first place...

2: I see your annoying and raise you a rude. There is no excuse for such behavior. She has her side of the street an a freaking driveway--use it!
I would probably park in HER driveway, but I tend to be very PA like that.
Julie

Skokie, IL

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#6
Aug 18, 2013
 
liner wrote:
L2: I would find that annoying too. Next time she's out, park your car or cars in the spot she usually does and see what happens.
Good experiment. I'll bet the original annoying parker won't hesitate a nanosecond before telling the wimp LW to move her car.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#7
Aug 18, 2013
 
2 Rock meet window.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

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#8
Aug 18, 2013
 

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Julie wrote:
<quoted text>
Good experiment. I'll bet the original annoying parker won't hesitate a nanosecond before telling the wimp LW to move her car.
Right? Doesn't it always seem to work that way?
Someone can be being a jerk and when you call them out YOU are the jerk.
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

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#9
Aug 19, 2013
 
LW2: My pet peeve is when people park in front of their house across the street but in front of my driveway. The neighbors don't do it ALL the time (which would be better because I would expect it there), but every once in awhile. I've almost hit it a couple times. It would be my fault, of course, but it's not smart on their part and it makes it tight backing out.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#10
Aug 19, 2013
 

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L1: Three months ago you called off an engagement. You've been wanting to date the woman you finally got to agree with you to go out to dinner and as soon as that happens, suddenly another woman you seem to like better comes along. Stay single. You seem to have problems with commitments and I bet that's your "colorful past". No proof, just a feeling.

L2: First one there gets it. Yes, it'd bother me, too, but I'd either park there myself or tell the people you'd appreciate it if they don't park there.

L3: Whatever.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#11
Aug 19, 2013
 

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LW2: I'm lucky to find a parking spot within a block of my home (we ask Asphaltia, Goddess of Parking for help on a daily basis) so getting one right next to the building is cause for celebration.

IMO, the LW needs to STFU.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#12
Aug 19, 2013
 

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squishymama wrote:
LW2: I'm lucky to find a parking spot within a block of my home (we ask Asphaltia, Goddess of Parking for help on a daily basis) so getting one right next to the building is cause for celebration.
IMO, the LW needs to STFU.
In the suburbs, parking is so much different than in the city.

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