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“boredom made me do it”

Since: Aug 08

ny, ny

#61 May 2, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>What is this, kindergarten. Either I can see who sent it or not. If the answer is "not", then we have a bigger problem. If the answer is that I "can", then the "when" is when I come across it. There is nothing gained by waiting.
I don't know if YOU commented on this other letter, so when I say "you", its generic, but I find it interesting that you peeps had a problem with the husband who did not want to let a wife drive HIS special car. Thought he was a dick and that she should have full access to his shit without needing to ask permission, but a dude who comes home and finds a flower delivery for his wife is a dick for looking at the note without asking permission.
Nah, in that case it was his presentation that he had bought it "for them", but then was trying to dictate her usage. If he'd said flat out he'd bought it for himself, it'd be different in my book.

On the kindergarten thing - to me, it's a boundary issue, and some people need to have that kind of control over their own stuff. I'm okay with that. If I got flowers, my husband would call and tell me I'd gotten flowers and when I asked him who they were from he'd tell me he hadn't read the card and I'd tell him to go ahead and read the card and he'd tell me I have to wait until I get home, just to make me suffer, and then i'd ask him to do me a favor and toss himself out the window and he'd laugh and smirk (you can hear it in his voice, trust me...). But whether he opened the card or not would depend on his mood that day.

If this situation were reversed, I'd tell him I was looking at the card but wasn't going to tell him who it was and he'd have to wait until he got home...

I should mention that we wrote our own vows and the minister said it was the first time he'd ever seen vows that included the word "chopbusting".

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#62 May 2, 2013
If your wife is sent flowers out of the blue? but is it her birthday, Easter or something like that? Personally, I would not worry about it. If they are being sent to the house, then the sender and reason is probably harmless, so I would see no reason to get my hackles up.

Its the damn text msgs you have to wonder about.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#63 May 2, 2013
and FB You gotta wonder about all those "friends"
and whats this Topix crap? Who are all these "Imaginary" people, and why do they want to know if my wife is HOT or not?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#64 May 2, 2013
RACE wrote:
If your wife is sent flowers out of the blue? but is it her birthday, Easter or something like that? Personally, I would not worry about it. If they are being sent to the house, then the sender and reason is probably harmless, so I would see no reason to get my hackles up.
Its the damn text msgs you have to wonder about.
I think a big part of it is how one views flowers in general. I've NEVER given flowers to anyone other than my wife or a girlfriend. I've been with my wife for almost 15 years and she's never gotten flowers from anyone but me. To me, flowers are an intimate gift. If flowers were to show up, my first thought would be, who is sending my wife this intimate gift? The possibility that it was an innocent gift from a friend would not be my first thought because that's just not the way I view flowers.

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

#65 May 2, 2013
I get flowers from my dad on my birthday every year. I've gotten flowers from friends (girls) here and there too.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#66 May 2, 2013
Chicago peeps: I saw Anything Goes tonight at teh Cadillac theater. It runs through the weekend and you can get inexpensive, good seats through Goldstar.com on short notice.
I really recommend it. It was great fun and super performances.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#67 May 3, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
I think a big part of it is how one views flowers in general. I've NEVER given flowers to anyone other than my wife or a girlfriend. I've been with my wife for almost 15 years and she's never gotten flowers from anyone but me. To me, flowers are an intimate gift. If flowers were to show up, my first thought would be, who is sending my wife this intimate gift? The possibility that it was an innocent gift from a friend would not be my first thought because that's just not the way I view flowers.
This is my experience as well. I've gotten them from my mom a few times, too.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#68 May 3, 2013
Now that I think about it, I've gotten non-romantic flowers way more times than I've gotten romantic flowers. Birthdays, thank-yous, A and her mom got me flowers for my baptism, etc.

Apparently I need guys in my life to step up their games, huh?
;)

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#69 May 3, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>What is this, kindergarten. Either I can see who sent it or not. If the answer is "not", then we have a bigger problem. If the answer is that I "can", then the "when" is when I come across it. There is nothing gained by waiting.
I don't know if YOU commented on this other letter, so when I say "you", its generic, but I find it interesting that you peeps had a problem with the husband who did not want to let a wife drive HIS special car. Thought he was a dick and that she should have full access to his shit without needing to ask permission, but a dude who comes home and finds a flower delivery for his wife is a dick for looking at the note without asking permission.
Here's the difference between the car and the card.

Cars are expensive and are purchased with funds from the household. I don't care who's pocket it comes out of -- when you're married I see it as it's a partnership and it's half his money and half her money. I feel the same way if the wife buys anything as well. You don't get to buy something expensive and say "you can't use it".

I know there are people out there who think the husband's money is his and the wife's money is her. I can't see it that way. If you're married it's 50/50. That means if the husband gets injured (or whatever) and can't work, the wife isn't paying for him, she's doing her fair share b/c if it was her I'd say the same.

I went on a bit to make a point. Probably went on a little too much.:)

The card with roses are a gift from someone else. Hands off my present. You don't UNWRAP someone's present and opening the card is doing that.

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

United States

#70 May 3, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
No, that's "who the hell is sending my wife flowers?!"
I fail to see where the insecurity and lack of trust is coming into play.
And once again, you repeat to me what I already said, as if I've forgotten, and use it as a "THERE, GOTCHA!" without explaining why.
I'm not here to teach you about how to debate. I'm hoping experience and success and failures will help you.
Keep trying, young padawan. As for now you're failing miserably.
So no one else is allowed to send your (coughgag) wife flowers? You're so messed up you don't even see the problem with that. A) People other than lovers send flowers. B) If your wife is doing something she shouldn't, flowers are the least of your worries. C) If you are all "Who the hell is sending my sife flowers?" are you also "Who the hell is calling my wife?/Who the hell is sending my sife a card?/Who the hell is my wife FB friends with?/Who the hell is my wife texting with?"

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#71 May 3, 2013
Toj wrote:
I know there are people out there who think the husband's money is his and the wife's money is her. I can't see it that way.
Toj wrote:
The card with roses are a gift from someone else. Hands off my present. You don't UNWRAP someone's present and opening the card is doing that.
I know there are people out there who swnd flowers as an innocent gift, but I have not encountered that in my travels, so I can't see it that way. Someone other than me send my wife an intimate gift, I'm not gonna sit there and meekly wait so ask"Honey, who sent you the flowers?"

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#72 May 3, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
<quoted text>I know there are people out there who swnd flowers as an innocent gift, but I have not encountered that in my travels, so I can't see it that way. Someone other than me send my wife an intimate gift, I'm not gonna sit there and meekly wait so ask"Honey, who sent you the flowers?"
If the dope is stupid enough to send it to your house where the husband would see it, do you really think you're wife would cheat on you with someone THAT stupid?

See, if I was a guy and flowers came to the house -- I'd immediately think it was from a good friend or family member. Another guy would not come to mind. I mean, how stupid would you have to be?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#73 May 3, 2013
Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
So no one else is allowed to send your (coughgag) wife flowers?
I never said that.
Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
If you are all "Who the hell is sending my sife flowers?" are you also "Who the hell is calling my wife?/Who the hell is sending my sife a card?/Who the hell is my wife FB friends with?/Who the hell is my wife texting with?"
You have GOT to be shtting me? I know you can't honestly be saying that sending someone flowers is the EXACT SAME THING as friend requesting someone on facebook? Right??

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

United States

#74 May 3, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I never said that.
<quoted text>
You have GOT to be shtting me? I know you can't honestly be saying that sending someone flowers is the EXACT SAME THING as friend requesting someone on facebook? Right??
I didn't SAY anything, I ASKED, dum dum. I want to know where your line is, how you draw a distinction. If you are reading her bouquet card, I am curious what other lines you feel o.k. crossing. Would you want to know who the hell she is FB friends with? Would you want to know who the hell she is texting? Would you want to know who the hell she is getting greeting cards from? Gifts from? I can't believe your insecurity is confined to bouquet cards.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#75 May 3, 2013
Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
Would you want to know who the hell she is FB friends with?
No
Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
Would you want to know who the hell she is texting?
Depends. How often is she texting this person?
Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
Would you want to know who the hell she is getting greeting cards from?
I might be curious but not overly concerned.
Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
Gifts from?
Depends on the gift. A quilt from Aunt Meriel, no. Intimate apparel from "work crush," yes.

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