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Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#1 May 2, 2013
DEAR ABBY: Last year, I began to lose my hearing due to a genetic disorder and now I have to wear hearing aids. I will be a freshman in high school next year. My teachers all have to wear microphones so I can hear them.

I'm scared other kids will make fun of me for being different. I have already gotten laughed at. What should I do?-- EMBARRASSED TEEN

DEAR EMBARRASSED TEEN: When people laugh at a person who has a disability, it is usually out of ignorance. Because this happened at school or another place where there is adult supervision, you and your parents should talk to the principal or person in authority so that person can speak privately with the guilty parties and explain why your hearing aids and the microphone are necessary. Your parents should also have a meeting with the principal of your high school before you go so the problem can be avoided.

When I was in grammar school, a classmate of mine had severe hearing loss. Because the students understood what her problem was, she was never ridiculed.

P.S. Making fun of a child who has a disability is a form of bullying, and should be treated as such.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 25 and have been with my husband for nine years, married for four. I cheated on him twice. He caught me both times.

Even though I strayed, he decided to stay. But now he treats me like I'm a child and a prisoner. He took away my phone, my Internet and I can't go anywhere. He says this is my punishment for what I did. Do I really deserve that? I know we're both wrong, but is he more wrong?-- BROKEN WIFE

DEAR BROKEN WIFE: From where I sit, you are equally wrong. How long ago did the cheating incidents occur? If they are recent, you two should be in marriage counseling. If they were long ago, then you must decide if you want to live the rest of your life being treated as a child and a prisoner.

Your husband doesn't trust you because you haven't been trustworthy. But taking away your phone and Internet and keeping you under lock and key will not help you to rebuild it.

You two need more help than anyone can give you in a letter, and I hope you will seek it. If he won't go for counseling, you should go without him because I don't think the status quo can last.

DEAR ABBY: My sister and brother-in-law passed away two years ago. I am the only living relative of their 28-year-old son, "Louis." He is a loner, spoiled and a poor houseguest. I invite Louis over only because I don't want him to be alone at holiday times. My husband, teenage daughter and I have nothing in common with him, and frankly, he spoils our holidays.

How can I stop inviting my nephew without feeling guilty? Or is there another solution? I hate to make waves.-- HOLIDAY HATER IN CANADA

DEAR HOLIDAY HATER: If you invite your nephew for fewer holidays you will be able to ease your conscience, enjoy more holidays and allow the young man a chance to become more proactive in planning entertainment for himself.

DEAR ABBY: I may be wrong, but isn't it presumptuous for someone to open the message card on a flower delivery before you get home when the flowers are for you?-- KIMBERLY IN MARYLAND

DEAR KIMBERLY: You're not wrong. The person opening the cards isn't being helpful, but nosy. And it wouldn't be out-of-line to tell the person not to do it again.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#2 May 2, 2013
L1: The principal is supposed to privately explain to every kid to might stare or make a comment why hearing aids are necessary? Give me a break. Everyone knows what hearing aids are for. I say the LW should just be up front and frank about his/her medical condition. Make it okay for the other kids to talk/ask about it and it won't be a big deal.

L2: This is a messed up situation.

L3: I guess what Abby said; start phasing him out. Or maybe try to develop a better relationship with him and his attitude might change.

L4: Unless you're getting flowers from your secret lover and your SO is opening the card, I don't see why it's a big deal. But technically it's like mail, addressed to whoever, and that person should open it.
not a ghost

San Antonio, TX

#3 May 2, 2013
If LW2 can't use a phone or internet nor go out of the house, how is she going to get to counseling (which I think they both need)?

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#4 May 2, 2013
1 There will always be jerks who will try to prop themeslves up by pulling you down. Just hang with your friends and ignore the jerks. Actually, that advice works on just about anything.

2 That'll learn ya!

3 Maybe the guy acts like a jerk in the hopes you stop asking him over?

4 WTF? Who is reading the card? If their for you why do you have to wait till you get home to read the damn card?

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#5 May 2, 2013
LW1: I'm pretty sure that at the beginning of the year the teachers will explain to each class what the microphone is for. After that, there shouldn't be too many questions or stares. And even if there are, eff 'em; they are just being ignorant and rude. And the beauty of hearing aids is you can always turn them off and not listen to the BS.

LW2: Eff counceling and go find a divorce lawyer.

LW3: Start with Thanksgiving. It's usually pretty easy to find some friend's house to go to and this guy will probably be thrilled not to spend another boring holiday with his family.

LW4: I think I'd rather have rehash than this stupid letter.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#6 May 2, 2013
1Like Race said, kids will be jerks. Not everything is bullying.
2. LW strayed but her husband sure sounds like a classic abuser who is cutting off her contact with the outside world.
animaniactoo

New York, NY

#7 May 2, 2013
LW1: Grumble, roll your eyes, and tell them "yeah it sucks. wish I didn't have to deal with it." refuse to be embarrassed and tell them you hope it doesn't happen to them.

LW2: Wait, what? It sounds like what you really need in life is a job - so you can pay for your own phone, your own damn internet, and tell your husband to stick it up his... Consider this a hint about what else is wrong in your marriage setup.

Punishment? He doesn't get to *punish* you. Leave you, ask you to be transparent, yeah. Punish. No.

LW3: How to not feel guilty - start with dropping the idea that a relative's house is the place you are *supposed* to go for holidays and assume he can manage under his own devices.

If he actually cares that much, he'll probably ask why you haven't invited him back and you can say "Because you slurp your drink, watch tv instead of talking to us, make rude comments, take double helpings and don't ask before taking the last of anything, and we can't take it anymore. And last time you got so drunk you forgot to zip your pants and I really don't want to see *that* much of you..."

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#8 May 2, 2013
L1: If the parents of this girl prepare her correctly, the kids might think it's cool. It's all in the presentation.

L2: So you were 16 and very immature. Now he's acting very immature. Not surprising. Get your butts to the counsellor and work this out or call it quits. You do not want your sons and daughters to believe this is how you handle problems.

L3: Instead of dropping him, why not sit down and have a more honest (but kind) conversation with him?

L4: Is your husband snooping or what?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#9 May 2, 2013
1- The principal or teachers aren't going to prevent every student from snickering or making fun of you. And no, it's not a dam form of "bullying." Dam pussification of America. Basically, learn to deal.

2- How bout you stop cheating on your husband, you damwh0re? Why are you with him and why did you marry him if you're lose with other men anyway? You made this bed, maybe next time you'll think twice before spreading em for some drunkard at the bar.

3- Have you thought that maybe he doesn't WANT to be invited? You said he's a loner, maybe he prefers to be by himself, or hang out with someone else, on the holidays.

4- Um, if a bouquet of flowers show up at my house and they're for my wife and I know I didn't send them, you bet your @zz I'm gonna look at the card to see who did.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#10 May 2, 2013
PEllen wrote:
2. LW strayed but her husband sure sounds like a classic abuser who is cutting off her contact with the outside world.
Maybe because he doesn't want her cheating on him again? I love how the woman is the cheater but the man is the abuser for trying to prevent it. It's probably the man's fault she's cheating in the first place, right?

“boredom made me do it”

Since: Aug 08

ny, ny

#11 May 2, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
4- Um, if a bouquet of flowers show up at my house and they're for my wife and I know I didn't send them, you bet your @zz I'm gonna look at the card to see who did.
Way to trust your wife there. Does she have similar privileges for things that show up for you that she didn't send you?

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

United States

#12 May 2, 2013
1. No, it is not out of ignorance, it is because they are self-centered dicks who think everyone else is laughing with them. The best thing you can do is have a sense of humor about it. You are going to have to deal with this for the rest of your life, and the level of accommodation you receive is going to vary widely. Best for you to figure out how to cope now.

2. So basically you have been with one person your entire dating life? No wonder you cheated. And he's (I assume) close to 25? No wonder he's being immature. But can you blame him? The natural assumption is that the times you get caught are not the only times you have done something. You need to set some guidelines and decide what kind of marriage you want to have. Most importantly, he needs to tell you what is going to make him relax his restrictions. I can't imagine either of you want to go through the rest of your lives like this.

3. Either ask him what's up his butt or just don't invite him. THen if he asks, you can point out that he clearly was not enjoying himself so you got the hint. Then he can either agree or disagree and you go from there.

4. Um, yeah, no one else opens that card.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#13 May 2, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Maybe because he doesn't want her cheating on him again? I love how the woman is the cheater but the man is the abuser for trying to prevent it. It's probably the man's fault she's cheating in the first place, right?
Well, if he were any good in bed and hadn't chosen a 16 year old in the first place...

What odds that this is an immigrant or first generation mariage which has a tradition of early marriage and patriarchy running into US media and morals?

“FD&S is no way to be.”

Since: Feb 13

United States

#14 May 2, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
4- Um, if a bouquet of flowers show up at my house and they're for my wife and I know I didn't send them, you bet your @zz I'm gonna look at the card to see who did.
Hey there Capt. Control, how ya' doin'? You are wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. Anyone with any amount of self-respect would set you straight in about 2 seconds. Of course, if they had any self-respect, they wouldn't be with you in the first place. Wait a minute. Is that why that girl threw a chair at you You opened the card in a bouquet of flowers someone sent to her? Well good for her!

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#15 May 2, 2013
L2: Marriage counseling *regardless* of how long ago the cheating took place. This guy is way too controlling. When he decided to stay married to you despite your cheating, that didn't mean he got the right to control you, take away your phone, etc. Start asserting yourself.

I'd cheat on the dickhead again then leave him.

L3: Stop inviting him. The guilt will subside over time.

L4: I'd open the card, but then put the card back int he little envelope and not tell you I did.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#16 May 2, 2013
Sam I Am GEAM wrote:
Hey there Capt. Control, how ya' doin'? You are wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.
Yeah, I'm sure if someone sent flowers to your man, you wouldn't be the least bit curious as to who or why.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#17 May 2, 2013
animaniactoo wrote:
Way to trust your wife there. Does she have similar privileges for things that show up for you that she didn't send you?
It wouldn't really be HER I'm worried about, but whoever is sending her flowers and why.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#18 May 2, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
I'd cheat on the dickhead again then leave him.
Right. Once again it's the MAN who's being a jerk. How dare someone punish his wife for cheating on him!

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#19 May 2, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
L4: I'd open the card, but then put the card back int he little envelope and not tell you I did.
Right? It takes a special kind of idiot to bust themselves like that.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#20 May 2, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Right. Once again it's the MAN who's being a jerk. How dare someone punish his wife for cheating on him!
He's not her parent. It's not his place to PUNISH her. He either decides to work on her marriage with her, with counseling, or they go free. HE doesn't get to be the one who controls everything.

If he can't trust her, he should divorce her.

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