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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Feb 6, 2014
DEAR ABBY: I am writing about the letter from "Holding My Tongue" (Nov. 8), the woman who was upset because many children were playing with electronic devices during her grandchildren's school concerts and recitals. While I agree that most children should pay attention to the event at hand, as the mother of two children on the autism spectrum, I have a different perspective.

There are apps and games designed to keep these children occupied and help them deal with the stress and anxiety of being in a large group of people. I should not have to leave my sons at home because they are on the spectrum, so a harmless, quiet game that allows them to participate without being disruptive is a godsend to me.

Sometimes it is not obvious why someone is doing something; so as long as it isn't disrupting the event, please try to be tolerant.-- LAURA IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR LAURA: Your point is well-stated, and was one made by a number of parents of children with special needs. Readers had interesting comments on this topic, so I'm sharing a few:

DEAR ABBY: If there's a possibility young children could be unruly during a performance, I think they should be allowed to use a tablet or something to keep them occupied.

Sometimes it's hard to find a sitter or afford one. When children get dragged to programs they have no interest in, they lose patience and become fidgety. If given something to occupy their attention, as long as it has headphones, then I don't see a problem. I'd rather have that than kids shouting, screaming and crying because they're unhappy being there.-- UNDERSTANDING IN LOUISIANA

DEAR ABBY: In this digital age, we have lost touch with basic common decency and respect for others. I not only notice this in children, but adults as well. I have seen people check their emails while they are in church, or couples sitting together at a restaurant, both fixated on their electronic devices and not speaking a word to each other.

It's sad to imagine what the next generation will be like if we don't start putting the devices down and interacting with each other again like human beings. I raised all three of my kids this way, so I know it's not impossible.-- MAINTAINING HUMAN CONTACT

DEAR ABBY: When my precious mother passed away last summer, my sister-in-law brought two handheld games to the funeral. My niece and nephew played and played while the pastor spoke about my mother.

It was the last straw for me in a series of incredibly rude actions over the years. My children were also appalled. When respect is no longer taught at home, we sink to the lowest level as a society.-- DEBRA ON THE EAST COAST

DEAR ABBY: I have stopped attending my friends' grandchildren's recitals because I, too, cannot tolerate rudeness. Many parents today just don't want to bother with their children. If there is a toy that can keep them busy, their parents "enable" them to grow up as idiots who can't appreciate the world and its beauty because their world is lived entirely on an electronic screen.-- GEORGE IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR ABBY: What parents who allow this type of behavior don't seem to understand is that it transfers to the classroom. Their children assume it's OK to ignore the teacher, the lesson and instructions that in some cases could save a life.-- FRUSTRATED EDUCATOR IN MIAMI

DEAR ABBY: I used to conduct workshops for teachers on how to instruct with newspapers. When I started my lecture, I would begin by saying, "OK, teachers, turn off your iPads, iPhones and iPods, because I don't want to become iRate." They loved it, and it was a great kickoff for the lecture.-- ALFRED IN TEXAS

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#2 Feb 6, 2014
Justify it all you want, it's lazy parenting. Rather than trying to make your kid behave, you let him burry his nose in a device and you check out

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#3 Feb 6, 2014
1 While I can see both sides, I think that it is more important that the child learn how to sit respectfully and be bored, possible even fidgety, than to be allowed to tune out of their environment. At the same time I have to ask if allowing a kid to read a book during a recital is also taboo.

Funerals are another matter. I would rather see kids dancing on headstones than jacked into WOW.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#4 Feb 6, 2014
From the first letter:
" I should not have to leave my sons at home because they are on the spectrum, so a harmless, quiet game that allows them to participate without being disruptive is a godsend to me. "

Your children are NOT participating in or listening to the performance. They happened to be seated in an auditorium while playing and paying attention to a video game. Their experience/participation would have been the same f you took them to a ti ttie show.

Have a special needs person is not an excuse.

That said, we took our girls to performances when they were young and brought soundless things for them, but they were engaged in the performance without distracting others.

I am of two minds about the funeral service. The niece and nephew were presumably the deceased grandchildren. and there wee some social and family reasons for them to be there other than not being able to get a baby sitter. Depending on their ages, handheld silent games was probably a good option if the nursery was not open. Most sermons and many eulogies are boring to grownups.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#5 Feb 6, 2014
Once again, people are getting their panties in a bunch over something that does not affect them and they cannot control.

If the kid's game is disruptive or affecting the performance or event or physically hurting someone then, yes, say something. If not, MYOB. Why do some people think they have a right to fix someone else?

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#6 Feb 6, 2014
PEllen, I'm going to take issue with your statement that because these autism-spectrum kids are playing a game, they are not participating in the event going on around them. Some of these kids have serious issues around stimuli and could actually be listening better because they're being distracted visually. Sub would probably have a better take on this.

Also, this gives the parent the opportunity to pay attention to their kid in the performance, who deserves to his/her parents full attention.

The games at the funeral would depend on the ages of the kids. Real little ones are not going to be able to sit through a long service and most of the other attendees would probably be annoyed with fidgitty kids. I would probably have opted for coloring books, but the idea is the same.

Older children should be able to handle a longer service, especially one for their grandparent.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#7 Feb 6, 2014
Toj wrote:
Why do some people think they have a right to fix someone else?
Ask CVS. Or anyone who proudly discriminates against smokers.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#8 Feb 6, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Ask CVS. Or anyone who proudly discriminates against smokers.
What are you talking about, please?

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#9 Feb 6, 2014
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
What are you talking about, please?
CVS just announced that it would stop selling tobacco products beginning in October.

As to what this has to do with your posts, I'm not really sure...
Pathetic

Kenosha, WI

#10 Feb 6, 2014
yo
Blunt Advice

New York, NY

#11 Feb 6, 2014
Before electronic games, I would bring crayons, coloring books and paper to keep my kids preoccupied. Other parents did such similar things too. Now keeping kids amused is less bulky isn't it. In any case is they aren't being disruptive then myob.
Blunt Advice

New York, NY

#12 Feb 6, 2014
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
CVS just announced that it would stop selling tobacco products beginning in October.
As to what this has to do with your posts, I'm not really sure...
. I think this is a comparison to letting people do what they want to as long as it doesn't affect you.

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#13 Feb 6, 2014
Blunt Advice wrote:
Before electronic games, I would bring crayons, coloring books and paper to keep my kids preoccupied. Other parents did such similar things too. Now keeping kids amused is less bulky isn't it. In any case is they aren't being disruptive then myob.
Electronic games are an issue in a dark venue, though. It's very rude to the other patrons.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#14 Feb 6, 2014
Blunt Advice wrote:
<quoted text>. I think this is a comparison to letting people do what they want to as long as it doesn't affect you.
The comparison is the attempt to control what others do with themselves

Seeing a kid play with an Ipad at a funeral and watching an R-rated movie? MYOB!

Seeing a dude walk down the street smoking a cigarette? He needs to be banished from society!!

Just more hypocrisy that has become so typical of those on a certain side of the aisle.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#15 Feb 6, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
The comparison is the attempt to control what others do with themselves
Seeing a kid play with an Ipad at a funeral and watching an R-rated movie? MYOB!
Seeing a dude walk down the street smoking a cigarette? He needs to be banished from society!!
Just more hypocrisy that has become so typical of those on a certain side of the aisle.
Right!'Cause that CVS employee is just gonna run right out into the street and extiguish that cigarette.

What a company chooses to sell is not the same as an individual making a judgement about whether or not a child should be in a certain movie.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#16 Feb 6, 2014
squishymama wrote:
What a company chooses to sell is not the same as an individual making a judgement about whether or not a child should be in a certain movie.
Agreed, but that's not what I was responding to. I was responding to THIS statement:

"Why do some people think they have a right to fix someone else?"

So again, ask CVS. They stopped selling cigarettes because it conflicts with their "health" policy.

But they're gonna continue to sell candy bars, soda, chips, booze....

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#17 Feb 6, 2014
CVS caved to the pressure of the moral minority!
Didn't you see it on TV? People were picketing and blackballing them. It was all over the news! Corporate finally caved to the demands of these nut jobs!
I cant believe you did not know this.
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
Right!'Cause that CVS employee is just gonna run right out into the street and extiguish that cigarette.
What a company chooses to sell is not the same as an individual making a judgement about whether or not a child should be in a certain movie.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#18 Feb 6, 2014
RACE wrote:
CVS caved to the pressure of the moral minority!
Didn't you see it on TV? People were picketing and blackballing them. It was all over the news! Corporate finally caved to the demands of these nut jobs!
I cant believe you did not know this.
<quoted text>
Nope, didn't know it and don't really care about it.

I actually hope this helps some mom'n'pop tobacco stores.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#19 Feb 6, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
Agreed, but that's not what I was responding to. I was responding to THIS statement:
"Why do some people think they have a right to fix someone else?"
So again, ask CVS. They stopped selling cigarettes because it conflicts with their "health" policy.
But they're gonna continue to sell candy bars, soda, chips, booze....
Of course they are being completely hypocritical, when has that ever stopped anybody?

(Do they really sell booze? I thought that was only some Walgreens - like mine! Yay!)

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#20 Feb 6, 2014
squishymama wrote:
Of course they are being completely hypocritical, when has that ever stopped anybody?
That's exactly the issue that pzzes me off.

How DARE anyone discriminate against gays!!?

How DARE anyone discriminate against blacks!!?

How DARE anyone discriminate against fat people!!?

Smoke? You don't belong in our bars, restaurants, parks, within ten feet of a public doorway, stadiums, college campuses.....

HELLO!!?? I thought you people were all about personal freedoms? And do you realize the Great King you worship is a smoker? Just a LITTLE consistency... wonder why liberalism is dying....

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