First Prev
of 2
Next Last

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Mar 15, 2013
DEAR ABBY: I am a young woman on a predominantly male college campus. One morning, while walking to a class, I had the misfortune of walking a few feet ahead of a pair of boys who were having an incredibly offensive and loud conversation about their sexual interests. It was extremely derogatory toward women, and just plain disgusting.

In a situation like this, would it have been inappropriate for me to turn around and say something, or was it better to just hold my tongue and walk faster? I have discussed this with some of my sorority sisters and we are anxious to hear your answer because I'm not the only one who has encountered this.-- OFFENDED IN GEORGIA

DEAR OFFENDED: You were right not to challenge them. Because this isn't an isolated incident, what you have described could be considered a form of sexual harassment. You and your sorority sisters should -- as a group -- bring this to the attention of the dean because you are a minority on that campus and the boys apparently haven't learned to function in an integrated environment.

DEAR ABBY: Can a sexless marriage last? My wife and I have been married for 17 years and our sex life has been slowing for a long time. We have sex less than 10 times a year.

We get along great and are the best of friends. My wife is attractive and fun to be with, and I don't know what happened to us. What causes women to lose their sex drive?(Then they wonder why their husbands have affairs.)

My wife is in good health. There are no medical issues. We are more friends than lovers. I don't think she's involved with anyone else. I want a fun, active sex life, but I don't want to upset her or lose the closeness we have. It's just that I'm watching our sex life evaporate. Please help.-- MIKE IN MISSOURI

DEAR MIKE: As women age, their hormone levels decrease, which can cause the sex drive to diminish. The reduced hormone levels can also make sex painful. If your wife would discuss these changes with her gynecologist or an endocrinologist, there may be a solution that would put some spark back in your marriage. However, that won't happen unless you are able to speak frankly with her about what's bothering you.

DEAR ABBY: I have been studying my whole life to become a classical singer. Many people have put great effort into helping me to succeed, especially my mother, who wanted to be an opera singer when she was my age. She is not a pushy stage mother, though. I chose to pursue music myself.

However, I have recently realized my heart is not fully in it and that I'd rather go to law school. I'm afraid to tell my mother and the other people about my decision because they have invested so much in me as a performer. I don't want to disappoint them, but my passion is now constitutional law. How do I share the news without breaking my mother's heart?-- SINGING A DIFFERENT TUNE

DEAR SINGING: Your mother may be disappointed, but her heart will heal. If your passion is not in opera singing, the truth is you won't go very far in the field.(Even people who are passionate about it don't always succeed.) Wanting to be a lawyer is nothing to be ashamed of. Follow your dream.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#2 Mar 15, 2013
1 Hit them with a clue bat

2 I hear there is a barely used (but much loved) top of the line vibrator for sale on craigslist.

3 Way to screw everyone over. You want law school, its on your dime kiddo

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#3 Mar 15, 2013
LW1 Unless the guys were deliberatly baiting you by their conversation, just keep walking and develop some temporay deafness. The world will not revove around your sensibilities, either on campus or in life. You knew you enrolled at a predominantly male campus. Exactly what did you expect- that the frat boy set would suddenly get couth ?

LW2 There is so much more than hormones that go into sexual desire. Before putting this all on your wife ask yourself- do you shower before you go to bed, brush your teeth after beer , do you do anything to set a mood or just grope under the sheets when the lights are out, etc.

LW3. You can do both. Law would be your "day job". Tell your mom you are looking for a way to finance your coaching lessons on your own( although the newspapers are reporting that the demand for lawyers and jobs for them are way way down, but that was not your question).

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#4 Mar 15, 2013
L1: MYOB. "sexual harassment"??? stupid.

L2: Talk to your WIFE.

L3: Don't care.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#5 Mar 15, 2013
L1: Sexual harassment? Did Amy take over for Abby today? Butt out and quit acting so prissy. I'd love to hear what you and your sorority sisters talk about after a few bottles of Arbor Mist.

L2: <facepalm> you've read one of these, you've read them all.

L3: Well, that's a switch. Most parents would be pushing their kid who loves to sing into law school.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#6 Mar 15, 2013
LW1: "In a situation like this, would it have been inappropriate for me to turn around and say something, or was it better to just hold my tongue and walk faster?"

Feel free to turn around and chastise them. Just know that your tongue lashing may not have the desired affect of getting them to quiet down and instead may invite a barrage of insults your way.

"Because this isn't an isolated incident, what you have described could be considered a form of sexual harassment."
No, stupid. Its not. They are out in public space. She has no legal expectation that she will not be exposed to something she finds offensive.

LW3: Use your words.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#7 Mar 15, 2013
1- So we've got one man-hater asking advice from another man-hater. By all means, tell the dean, tell the campus cops, get these boys kicked out of school. Men don't belong in college anyway. Leave all the "thinkin" jobs to the women. Men belong working as mechanics and plumbers and construction workers anyway.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#8 Mar 15, 2013
PEllen wrote:
LW2 There is so much more than hormones that go into sexual desire. Before putting this all on your wife ask yourself- do you shower before you go to bed, brush your teeth after beer , do you do anything to set a mood or just grope under the sheets when the lights are out, etc.
So it's all the man's fault. Got it.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#9 Mar 15, 2013
LW1: Oh turn up your iPod. And what Tonka said.

LW2: All I can say is it takes two to tango. Talk to your wife about this, please.

LW3: I totall agree with RACE. Your family is gonna be pissed for the time and money you've wasted, not that you changed your mind.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#10 Mar 15, 2013
L1: Seriously, you don't need to police the world. Find your ignore button.

L2: They wonder why their husbands have affairs? C'mon guy. If you feel close to her you should be able to talk to her honestly. Without putting her down. And as PEllen said, see if you're doing your part as well. Then have that frank conversation. Don't use this as an excuse to have an affair b/c you're too chicken to talk to your wife.

L3: You said your mother isn't a pushy stage mother. Tell her. She didn't pursue that career either. It's your career, no one else's.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#11 Mar 15, 2013
LW1: They probably would have told you to go fí yourself amongst other things.

And what is the dean going to do about it? Is he going to limit what folks can talk about when walking down the street? Are you going to have language police everywhere? Itís almost as if Amy is filling in for Abby today.

LW2: Why donít you start by talking to your wife.

LW3: Itís your life. Best to make sure you do something for a living that you enjoy rather than doing something you donít just to make others happy.

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#12 Mar 15, 2013
L3. How someone can be passionate about something as dry and devoid of emotion as the law is beyond my comprehension.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#13 Mar 15, 2013
Yeah, all that hapies corpse and stuff! Sounds like cadaver speak to me.

Hey lc, but if the law has no emotion, how come they say "The spirit of the law..."?
loose cannon wrote:
L3. How someone can be passionate about something as dry and devoid of emotion as the law is beyond my comprehension.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#14 Mar 15, 2013
Constitutional law is fascinating!

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#15 Mar 15, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Constitutional law is fascinating!
I groove on the Internal Revenue Code

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#16 Mar 15, 2013
To put LC's comments in context, she's in the 1% who thinks classical music is da bomb. AND, as we all know, classical music is so fascinating compared to law ... that's why there's been like a bazillion television shows built around classical music and not one built around law. <sarcasm>

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#17 Mar 15, 2013
Far and away the most entertaining class I had in college was Business Law.

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

#18 Mar 15, 2013
1. Report their frat boy butts to the campus authorities. Stop this crap!

2. Did you ever think that you should talk to your spouse?

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#19 Mar 15, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>I groove on the Internal Revenue Code
Me too!

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Schaumburg, IL

#20 Mar 15, 2013
LW1 - the odds are good but the goods are odd...

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Chicago Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 5 min Tony Rome 1,108,970
Once slow-moving threat, global warming speeds ... (Dec '08) 14 min mdbuilder 46,574
Antarctic Ice Sheet Largest by Far in 25 Years 19 min joey 2
Topix Chitown Regulars (Aug '09) 1 hr Mister Tonka 98,196
IL Illinois Governor Recall Amendment (Oct '10) 1 hr NevadaBob 1,918
IL Who do you support for Governor in Illinois in ... (Oct '10) 3 hr Blwlgo 4,016
Abby 9-13-14 3 hr cheluzal 19
BARACK OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE: Suit contesting... (Jan '09) 4 hr LRS 177,956
Amy 9-15 8 hr liner 10
•••
•••

Chicago Jobs

•••
Enter and win $5000
•••
•••
•••

Chicago People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

•••

Chicago News, Events & Info

Click for news, events and info in Chicago
•••

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]
•••