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1 - 13 of 13 Comments Last updated Nov 25, 2012

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#1
Nov 25, 2012
 
DEAR ABBY: My darling mother-in-law passed away recently. She was a wonderful woman, a caring and loving role model to her children and grandchildren. In her will she left a diamond ring to her daughter, "Mimi," a diamond ring to me, and the remainder of her jewelry to her grandchildren. Her house and its contents were to be divided equally between her son and daughter.

My children received a box from Mimi filled with Mom's costume jewelry. All of her expensive jewelry was missing. When I asked about the missing items, Mimi said they were in the box, and she had taken photos to prove it. My husband noticed that many valuable items were missing from the family home as well.

Recently my daughter and I ran into my sister-in-law in a restaurant and saw she was wearing one of the pieces of jewelry that had been intended for my children. When I asked Mimi to please take it off and give it to my daughter, she replied that she couldn't because she was "still grieving." Any advice on how to handle this?-- HEARTBROKEN IN WASHINGTON

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: What a shame. Who was the executor of your mother-in-law's will? That person should have been overseeing the disposition of her property, and that is the person you should contact now to see the deceased's wishes are complied with. If Mimi was the executor, then your next step should be to contact an attorney.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 25-year-old male who is still a virgin. It bugs me knowing that uglier, disgusting, less intelligent guys are having sex, while I -- compassionate, smart, educated and good-looking -- am not. What am I supposed to do? What is the secret to finally losing my virginity?

This has been bothering me lately because I have lost a lot of weight and feel better about myself, but it still isn't happening. I used to be extremely shy, but the confidence I gained from the weight loss has helped me in talking to strangers.

I don't get it. I feel like life is playing a cruel joke on me. I feel like the only virgin in the room. Please give me some advice.-- READY FOR MORE

DEAR READY: Please take a moment and re-read the second sentence of your letter. If you do, you will realize that while you have lost the weight, you have not lost the anger you must have felt when, for years, you went unnoticed. The chances of losing your virginity -- and more important, having a relationship -- will improve if you talk to a psychologist. Unless you do, as smart, educated and good-looking as you now are, the "vibe" you emit may continue to repel women. I have seen this happen, so please give my advice serious consideration.

DEAR ABBY: Our son and daughter-in-law live out of state. They have a 1-year-old daughter. For their anniversary, we sent them a gift certificate saying that we would pay for a night out on the town, including a hotel of their choice in the city where they live. We offered to watch our granddaughter and their dogs while they enjoyed themselves.

Their response was a resounding NO! They said that it was the most selfish gift we had ever given them because it wasn't for them; it was so we could baby-sit. What do you think?-- GRANDMA GAYLE

DEAR GRANDMA GAYLE: I think their manners are atrocious. How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child!

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Tacoma, WA

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#2
Nov 25, 2012
 
I'm not dead and I'm not a grandmother. Also I plan to take all the good stuff with me when I go. j/s

Since: Mar 09

Boynton Beach, FL

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#3
Nov 25, 2012
 
L3: I'll take it! Money for a night out, including hotel, and you'll watch my dogs? Done.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

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#4
Nov 25, 2012
 
1- Lawyer up.

2- Hooker.

3- There must be some kind of a back-story here. Maybe they've cut you out of their lives for whatever reason and you refuse to accept it?

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#5
Nov 25, 2012
 
edogxxx wrote:
1- Lawyer up.
2- Hooker.
3- There must be some kind of a back-story here. Maybe they've cut you out of their lives for whatever reason and you refuse to accept it?
1 agree
2 agree
3. Maybe they just don't want chain smoking, bd abit parents to be alone with the kid

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

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#6
Nov 25, 2012
 
PEllen wrote:
3. Maybe they just don't want chain smoking, bd abit parents to be alone with the kid
Wah! They can get over it.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#7
Nov 25, 2012
 
L1: Yes, they need a lawyer, sadly.

L2: Ha! Edog says hooker. Not a bad idea. Abby's right, the guy has to lose the attitude.

L3: There's something more here. I don't know anyone who would not take grandparent's up on it as long as the grandparents were okay to watch the baby.
Anonymous

Plant City, FL

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#8
Nov 25, 2012
 

Judged:

1

1

1

1: Know what? I am a fighter, but I wouldn't waste legal fees fighting this. Mimi has shown her true colors and you can adjust accordingly. It's simply not worth fighting over material things.

I took care of my bro's estate and would not use a penny for myself--I feel honored my parents trusted me with that, and I took it seriously. Now, I am full beneficiary and will take care to follow my parents' wishes to the T.
Greed is gross.

2: Dude, you are not the only virgin; people just don't advertise it. Do you want it meaningful or just sex? Figure that out. You can find any tacky girl to have sex with a stranger, so something tells me he actually has standards and needs to accept that.

3: Yikes! They said it was selfish?
Scenarios: you are evil and cannot stay with the kids.
OR
They are parents who have no cut umbilical cords from their needy children and cannot leave them alone.
Kuuipo

Salinas, CA

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#9
Nov 25, 2012
 
LW1: What cheluzal said.

LW2: If want to relieve yourself of your virginity in any way possible, then I agree w/Dog. Find a hooker. In Nevada you can go to a legal brothel. However, if you are trying to figure out how to seduce a woman, you're going to have to get inside the mind of a woman. HINT: Give her some of what SHE needs and she'll give you what YOU need. OH, one other thing. Take a dance class. You'll meet a lot of women, loosen up, and have some fun.

LW3: IMHO, the only proper response to any kind of gift is, "Thank you very much!" with or without other kind words of gratitude. But I agree that there must be a backstory.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#10
Nov 25, 2012
 
Kuuipo wrote:
LW1: What cheluzal said.
LW2: If want to relieve yourself of your virginity in any way possible, then I agree w/Dog. Find a hooker. In Nevada you can go to a legal brothel. However, if you are trying to figure out how to seduce a woman, you're going to have to get inside the mind of a woman. HINT: Give her some of what SHE needs and she'll give you what YOU need. OH, one other thing. Take a dance class. You'll meet a lot of women, loosen up, and have some fun.
LW3: IMHO, the only proper response to any kind of gift is, "Thank you very much!" with or without other kind words of gratitude. But I agree that there must be a backstory.
I agree with you on L2 and L3. Love the idea of the dance class. And you're right, someone gives you a gift, you say "thank you" whether or not you like the gift. People should be gracious.

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

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#11
Nov 25, 2012
 
LW1- this is why you should give your stuff away while you are still alive, if it is important to you. Once you reach a certain point, do you really need a jewelry box full of good jewelry? How many places do you wear it? Give something to each child/grandchild and tell them the story behind the piece. Or let them come over and pick something while you are still around and can approve/veto it.

In the end, though, it's just stuff. No one can take away the memories.

LW2- everyone has already said it.

LW3- if the grandparents live out of town, they are most likely going to visit for at least a long weekend to spend time with their son and DIL, as well as the one night with the grandchild. I bet the DIL is just afraid to leave her child overnight with someone who does not regularly care for him.

My parents did this for us when Ry was 2. We stayed in Inner Harbor in Baltimore for one night, then saw a FSU-Maryland game and stayed near there the second night. It was awesome and it made them feel good that we trusted them so much.
PEllen

Chicago, IL

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#12
Nov 25, 2012
 
Jess in NJ wrote:
LW1- this is why you should give your stuff away while you are still alive, if it is important to you. Once you reach a certain point, do you really need a jewelry box full of good jewelry? How many places do you wear it? Give something to each child/grandchild and tell them the story behind the piece. Or let them come over and pick something while you are still around and can approve/veto it.
In the end, though, it's just stuff. No one can take away the memories.
LW2- everyone has already said it.
LW3- if the grandparents live out of town, they are most likely going to visit for at least a long weekend to spend time with their son and DIL, as well as the one night with the grandchild. I bet the DIL is just afraid to leave her child overnight with someone who does not regularly care for him.
My parents did this for us when Ry was 2. We stayed in Inner Harbor in Baltimore for one night, then saw a FSU-Maryland game and stayed near there the second night. It was awesome and it made them feel good that we trusted them so much.
Yes but think of the times when a grown child has described toix parents who won't follow parenting choices ( car seats, smoking, giving the kid just a tast of beer, etc) and the advice has been nver to let your child be alone with those people.
Couple that with grandparents who ar out of awareness of how they are perceived and we have LW3

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

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#13
Nov 25, 2012
 
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>Yes but think of the times when a grown child has described toix parents who won't follow parenting choices ( car seats, smoking, giving the kid just a tast of beer, etc) and the advice has been nver to let your child be alone with those people.
Couple that with grandparents who ar out of awareness of how they are perceived and we have LW3
There is not enough information to automatically label the LW a toxic person. We can call her someone who does not regularly watch her grandchild, though (since they live in different towns), and it is a big jump to go from never watching the child to watching him while the parents are out of town overnight. Some moms I know aren't even comfortable letting their husbands watch their one year olds for a day.

The reason I think this is more of the DIL's issue is because they didn't politely refuse or say thank you but never find a convenient weekend - they called the LW SELFISH and said that the gift of a night out on the town and overnight in a hotel was just an excuse to babysit. I wonder if the couple ever goes out together, just the two of them.

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