Pastor,My dear parishioners,
I was deeply disturbed by the recent article in "The Buffalo News" regarding St. Anthony's and their new museum. Even more disturbing, is the fact that "The Buffalo News" also did a video interviewing the pastor there and the museum curator. Here at Gualberto, we have actual relics of saints, not mere dusty old fiddle back vestments. When I contacted the media to bring attention to "our" relics (ours when there is a cost - mine in all other instances), they weren't interested. Apparently, I may have called too much in the past and they now feel I am just using these relics to draw attention to myself.
I wish to remind you that these fiddle backs are of no comparison to the relic of the "true veil of Mary" which I have in MY collection. You may recall that I mentioned that many years ago, I invited Mary to join me in the Falls (the Church next to the casino) for cocktails. When Mary took off her veil, I excused myself to hang it up for her. At that time, I snipped a piece of it off for my collection. So you see, there is no problem in authenticating that this veil is truly from Mary as you have MY word. In fact, when Mary discovered what I did she became upset and sent a letter to the Bishop. Apparently, she "claims" she had just bought the veil at J.C. Penney's and that I put a big hole in it. If she thought I was going to pay for it, she was sadly mistaken. AS do you, if you think I am going to pay for the damage I have done with the air conditioner.
At any rate, I know Monsignor Voorhees was once assigned to our parish. Some of you may feel compelled to visit this museum of his. As your pastor and shepherd of your soul, I forbid any of you from visiting this museum. I can only compare it to visiting a protestant church that doesn't have the Blessed Sacrament, when we have the Blessed Sacrament right here in our church which was consecrated by ME. Our loyalty must be to MY relic collection and I urge all of you to write to the media and tell them they should write an article on ME and MY relic collection.
OUR collection is permanent to our church here. At least it is as permanent to this church as it was to St. Mary's when it was there. You see, though I told them it was permanent and used their money for it, I still took it one day when they weren't aware of it. After all, it was on loan. Permanent only means I won't move it as long as I am there and that they should pay for any costs. However, God punished me and I had the same thing that I did later done to me. As a result of what I did, that darn LaVerne came here and took the baptismal font, angel statues, other statues and a priceless Nativity Set that I had my eye on to confiscate for myself. MMM, I guess I shouldn't have crossed Mary and snipped that piece of the true veil. I've been paying for it ever since and I think that is why I am under appreciated here and in the Diocese.
So, STAY AWAY FROM THIS MUSEUM AND WRITE THE MEDIA ABOUT OUR OWN COLLECTION AND BE SURE TO MENTION MY NAME AND THAT I HAVE A PhD.
May God bless you and Mary love you!
poor choice for new organist.